Dear Reader,
This has not been a good day. It should have been, but it kind of crashed and burned this evening.
Oh, but before I go on, let me say that I DID exercise today! And I only had 2 Glutino cookies.
But here's what happened. I bought a dress on a big sale. It's nothing special, but it goes with some really nice jewelry I have, so I thought it would be okay. Well, this evening I got the nerve to try it on. Looking at it from the front I thought it was going to work. Then I turned sideways and saw the distinct outline of my ... "stomach" is what I want to say, but really, we're talking about what I affectionately refer to as my "gut"! (Sarcasm, just in case you didn't catch it!).
So, I decided to wear a ... wait a minute. Do you even know what I'm talking about?? No, I don't think I've told you. I have to go to a ball this month. Yep, a formal ball. And I not only have to attend the ball, but I am hosting it! So that's the dresses I'm talking about, ball gowns. Anyway, I decided to wear a gown I wore three years ago that I love and is gorgeous. I got it on, but there was no one here to zip me up. Or, rather, see if I COULD BE zipped up! If it was possible! I held the zipper together and figured that it might zip, but I wouldn't be able to breathe! Or eat!
I was very discouraged, but I had to get dressed to go out to dinner with my husband. Well, one of my favorite pants are too tight for me to zip! I'm pretty sure the housekeeper put them in the dryer, so I determined to not flip out. Then I put on the same pair of pants in a different color, and they fit better, but still squished a roll of fat between them and my bra line. So they came off and my "big" jeans went on. But then I noticed that my stomach was just BULGING out and looked all the world like I had a balloon under my shirt! I quickly changed blouses and finally looked presentable, though clothes were, by this time strewn all over my room.
So,we want put to dinner. I had grilled fish with steamed broccoli and rice, we both skipped the bread. Then we came home and I decided to measure my waist. And, ya'll ... my waist is FOUR INCHES BIGGER than usual!!! What is happening to me??? Do I have a new food allergy or have I just actually gained four inches in my waist? I'm going to weigh in the morning and see what's going on in that regard. If it's fluid in my tissues, my weight will be about the same because it's just the blood plasma redistributed in my tissues instead of in my veins. Oh, and last year, getting ready for the event and driving to the "big city nearby" where it was held, I started breaking out in a bloody rash. By the time the event was over, I was broken out from my chest to my ankles in little blood spots all over. I took pictures and showed my doctor. Apparently my blood vessels had opened up larger than usual and the red blood cells had actually leaked out. I hope that doesn't happen this time!
I've been online desperately this evening looking for other dress options. It's so distressing. All these beautiful gowns, and how many women my age get to go to a ball every year? And I've gone and ruined my figure! I did finally find one at Dillards that I think might work for me. And three at Macy's. Nordstrom has let me down entirely. It's so frustrating! Most of the people who come to the ball are WAY younger then me and they wear amazing gowns and have great figures. Even the ones who might not have great figures have young figures! I know, I know. I'm 57. I've had my run at youth and can't see this as a competition. But neither do I want to look bad. So it just feels humiliating right now. What I LIKE to wear is leggings, boots, and a tunic ... but that doesn't seem to translate well into formal wear, unfortunately.
Oh, and before I forget. All this is complicated by the fact that my husband and I will be getting back from JAMAICA the night before the ball! So if something doesn't fit ... then I'm just going in my jeans, I guess, because there won't be time to get anything altered!
I sincerely hope there is nothing like this where we're going. I am really going to need some time to just chill. A lot of time!
And, here's a bit of news for you. You know that book inventory ap I've been talking about! Well, all of it is GONE! Just GONE. Even all the categories I created are gone, it's just a complete blank. And, guess who had quit backing up the info each day? So I'm not a real happy camper about that right now.
I realized today why I am not exercising, even though I realized I do like it. It's because it is IMPORTANT, but not CRITICAl. Have you heard about this? How you wind up spending most of your time on things that are critical, that HAVE to be done right now! You have to make a phone call, or you have errands that you have to do or other things that have an immediacy to them. They can't be put off, they have to be done now! So, each day I handle those things on my to-do list (which is always huge) FIRST before I take the time to exercise. The Critical vs. The Important.
I think it is Steve Covey who suggests using a diagram for your to-do list, rather than just listing them by what has to be done first. Divide your piece of paper into four sections. Label the top, left square: Critical. Label the top right square: Important. Then label the bottom left square: Critical But Not Important. And the bottom right square: Critical And Important.
I may have that wrong, but I know the bottom right corner is Critical and Important. So, exercising is critical and important for me to do. But, it feels so much more necessary to get those critical things out of the way first! I have to get another moving company over to give us an estimate on moving us. I have to call Avid because my dog's chips are no longer traceable because the vet got hit by a tornado and lost everything and did not reopen. I have to go get my mother when she calls to tell me she has gotten her car stuck in ice somehow. I have to call the hotel in Jamaica to tell them about my food allergies. Etc. You have your own list of critical things you have to do each day. But, the point is, if were not careful we'll always take care of the critical things and never have the time to do the important things. So, Steve Covey says to focus most of your time and energy on the bottom, right corner things that are both critical and important before you start on the things that are just critical.
We are still snowed in. You can use the road directly in front of our house, but our electric gate isn't working right and only one side of it will open. Our driveway is thick with ice and snow, so driving on it is interesting. Thankfully, just about everything I need can be gotten on this main road. Oh, and, when my mother called needing to be rescued, I realized that all of my ice scrapers are still in my daughter's car which is with her on the far side of town. So I tried to clear all the ice and snow off my windshield with a variety of spatulas and wooden spoons! I was still working on it when my mother called to tell me that a neighbor had come and gotten her. Thank goodness because I had another twenty minutes to go on it. Oh! I just realized that THIS is why my arms are sore. I couldn't figure that out because I didn't do any push-ups or planks today. But ... I can now do side planks with 15-20 dips on each side. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
So, that's about everything I can think of to tell you right now. School is still closed tomorrow because the roads are too bad. My daughter is stuck out at a friend's house, and Tim is going out of town. If I handle this right, I should be able to get a LOT done these next three days. And, as soon as we get back to Jamaica we'll have less than two months!
I hope you are doing well and are staying warm. I've had a terrible thought. What if I'm allergic to those Glutino cookies???
Cheers!
Lisa
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