Day 59 - 10:00 am: Fresh Start Is Not Off to a Good Start!

Dear Reader,

I'm going to try something different and try writing this post out in stages throughout the day. So here goes.

10:00 am - the day starts badly with a series of curse words.  I got up first thing and got ready and went to the gym and had a great workout.  Then I swam some and got out and went to the lounge where there were several hot tubs and a whole showcase of skin care products and makeup to use, all Clinique products.  I felt so great from the workout and came back home and it was a mess, but I faced it calmly and with resolve and decided to just start and dig in.  And then these BIRDS started singing really loudly and, you guessed it, I WOKE UP!!! My alarm had been going off for almost two hours and I apparently kept hitting the doze button.  It's one of those cool alarm clocks for people who have a hard time waking up where this light comes on gradually and then you can set it for birds or radio or an alarm.  I had it on birds obviously. So ... choices.  1) be furious at myself for blowing it again.  2) Be kind to myself and realize I was super tired, get up and take on the day and get the most important things done.  3)  all of number 2 but also figure out how I can get to bed earlier at night.  That's really important.  First step of that is realizing that my insomnia is not as bad now as it used to be.  My immunologist has me taking two pills at night that make me drowsy and I am taking two SedaLin capsules that help short out the connection to your brain that keeps you producing cortisol.  So both of these are making me drowsy and then when I hit it with a Xanax, I AM GOING TO FALL ASLEEP!  Unless something extraordinary is going on and I'm very upset.  Then none of this does a thing.  But that's pretty rare.  

So .. I will choose Door #3 this morning.  No anger.  No telling myself what a wretched person I am and how my oversleeping just proves it once again.  No accusations at all.  I stayed up too late and was too tired and slept through the alarm.  I will try again tonight.  

The disappointing thing, though, is that I felt SO GOOD and so energized from that great workout I had in my dream!  And I was so proud of myself!  But it was just a dream.  RATS!!

I shall post again in a couple of hours.  Don't hold your breath, though!

Cheers!
Lisa