Dear Reader,
Here's the thing, I basically hate myself a lot of the time for not being a better person. A healthier, more disciplined, happier, more productive, more energetic person. My ideal. Most days I strive to become more like my ideal, but other days I hate myself for not already being that person. The current problem is that I am just exhausted from yesterday. Not just yesterday, of course, but everything else was topped off by yesterday. All the driving, the looking, the getting lost, the climbing stairs. Then driving an hour home and going to hear the speech. The speech was great! But being around people makes me so much more tired. That's the introvert in me. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test says that the way to know if you are an introvert or an extrovert is this: being around people fatigues you or gives you more energy. So, while everyone thinks I'm an amazing extrovert, I am actually an amazing introvert because being around other people always drains me.
So, I wake up this morning and am beyond exhausted! And I immediately start getting mad at myself for not being healthier and not being able to just hop up and get going on this day. After all, I got 8 hours of sleep, didn't I?? So what's my problem? My problem is that I'm a lazy, sorry excuse for a person! At least that's what I have told myself over and over today. I finally just left the house hoping I'd feel better if I did. I went to a quiet restaurant and read some, but it didn't help. Then I went to a beauty store because I'm out of all my skin care products. While looking around there I got more and more tired till I felt sick. When I get tired I have a harder time "pulling out" so I just kept looking for a fingernail polish! I finally picked one and came home, barely staying awake. I have to go to a dinner in an hour so I have just a little bit of time to try to sleep. The dinner, at least, is with people I do like and feel easy being with. It doesn't help that I am married to an energizer bunny!!!
That's it for now. I may check back in later.
Lisa
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