Dear Reader,
I got my lab tests back from the endocrinologist. He says my kidney function is off, so that's one more thing going on.
My ankle was back in place this morning, thank goodness! It was awfully painful last night. I frequently pull finger joints out of place when I put on hand cream. You know that kind of twisting motion you use? Well it often shifts one or more joints out of place.
I was up very late because of my ankle so, I, sorry to say, we stayed home from church again. I think it's been six weeks now. It's hard to get myself to go when I know we're leaving soon. And, this is awful for me to say, think, or feel ... but I'm not keen in the new music leader. Cute, young thing, but I bet she's just out of seminary and doesn't quite have the knack yet for putting together the music for a service. Since my husband used to be the unofficial impulsive minister at a church for years, I know the challenges. But she uses music that no one knows. It's not traditional or contemporary ... I don't know what it is, but it's not very good. And this is for the contemporary service. So, yes, I know that is shallow of me, but I'm just confessing the truth. Plus, she's got this very high soprano voice, very beautiful, but not really the kind of voice that can lead a congregation in a powerful song. So ... that's me being very, very picky. I hope so much that we can find a church in New York that will be a good fit for us doctrinally and musically and will let us both teach. Dream on! Haven't found such a church yet, and I'm 57!
So ... my blood pressure dropped suddenly this evening while I was starting on dinner. I had been thirsty most of the last two days, but it was always inconvenient to get a drink. So, when this happened, I went for,the potato chips, which I have been staying away from, but I didn't have any! So I salted some water and drank it and then just put some on my hand and licked it off! I had forgotten that you have to keep,your blood VOLUME up high by drinking water and having plenty of salt. I even have a recipe for a drink a woman makes that includes a teaspoon of water. Yup ... It does sound gross! She swears by it, thoug. Says it keeps her blood pressure from dropping more than anything else.
I did exercise today, and it felt jus GREAT! Really, really good. In fact, it was like my muscles wanted more later in the evening. I have always had a problem with getting overly enthusiastic with working out as soon as it started to feel good, and I would always pull a tendon,or something, I read that muscles strengthen more quickly than connective tissue, and thought that was why this happened. But now this Ehlers-Danlos syndrome makes more sense.
I have a super busy day tomorrow. I'll be giving a talk about the house we live in for a locally produced television program. It's not a big deal. Maybe twenty people will see it! But I want to learn some more about the house, so I am going to chase down a lot of information tomorrow and get ready for it.
We are busy looking for apartments for our daughter. If we could spend $1200 a month we could put her in something really great! But that's not in the range of possibilities. My OCD has clicked in and I am having a very hard time controlling myself online. I spent, do I really want to tell you this??, at least an hour and a half in bed looking at things online. And probably 45 minutes looking for pretty file folders!!! I find plenty of pretty ones, but I, just not going to spend $2 per folder, no matter how pretty they are!
I think I was a little too gung-ho on the back exercises this evening. There's this one exercise called the scorpion where you lay on your stomach and then you lift up a leg and swing it across your back to the other side of,your body and try to touch the floor. Pretty challenging, but it was going well today so I did more than I probably should have.
My mother told me, finally, that she is thinking of moving back to Texas. I think this sounds like a good choice for her, but any move is going to be hard on her. Plus, they will be doing a cat scan on her back soon to see what is causing some severe leg pain. It is possible that it is a blockage in the peripheral artery which may require a type of bypass surgery. She was complaining again tonight about how she just can't seem to die! I told her that God may not LET her died until she quits complaining about living and begins to be grateful! I was half-joking, but only half!
I have to check of some more things for this young man. Nothing can be done to help him too much if he can't get his probation officer to transfer him to Nashville. So, we'll see how that goes. I hope he has more resolve and determination than the young woman I tried to work with last. I finally had to cut her off and tell her she had to do one of three things for herself to show me that SHE wanted a different life because it seemed like I was the one who wanted it for her the most. She never responded and got back on drugs and living with the sleaze who got her started again. She was doing so well until he got in the picture. It still makes me sad. She had lost all custody of her three children to her mother, and her big goal was to clean her life up and get custody back. So, so, SO sad! It broke my heart.
Anyway ... maybe this guy is made of sterner stuff. I hope so!
I don't want to talk about being vs. doing anymore. I see that is was subconsciously aware of some of this that I have realized, which was why I was starting to do one thing a week to make me take better care of myself and why I decided to floss at least once a week and use the water pick and, more recently, put on my makeup and fix my hair first thing each morning. My massive to-do lists speak to how firmly I am turned in the direction of doing and not being.
Well, I think I'm finally getting sleepy so, good night! The race begins again tomorrow. As does the constant struggle with myself to do the right thing and be disciplined. It's like I'm a teenager rebelling against authority ... but I AM the authority! And since I am all about doing and have no time for being, but am trying to start investing the time into being ... I can see how that would create a lot of conflict within myself.
Have a great week, and ...
Cheers!
Lisa
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