Dear Reader,
Well, I'm here in bed icing my ankle. I didn't have time to go to the chiropractor today and I don't think there's anyway I'll be able to go tomorrow. I have to leave here by 8:45 in the morning to make my 10:00 appointment with the cardiologist. The immunologist is with the same hospital, but in a different location. I don't think I'll have any problems getting there in time. And it is located right across the street from one of my favorite restaurants, so I know where I'll be eating tomorrow. It is just remotely possible that I can get into town in time to get to the chiropractor tomorrow afternoon before he closes. He let's me just barge in, which I appreciate. The last time I let it go this long, it was not a pretty scene. He tried his usual maneuver that usually works, but the bone wouldn't budge. So, he wound up holding me foot with one hand and hammering on my heel with his other hand in a fist! I hope it's not that bad this time. I yelled enough that I probably scared off a few clients in the waiting room! But nothing will compare to the time I went in with my back in terrible spasms. My housekeeper had to drive me there and help me inside. By the time I was on a table I was crying. He started examining me and saying, "Oh, Lisa! Oh, Lisa!" I was in that bad of a mess. By the time he was through and had me pretty much in place and had stopped the spasms, I had been crying so much and could scarcely move or walk. We had to call my husband to get out of a meeting and come help me get home.
This kind of stuff is just not normal, you know??? I mean, do you know anyone else that this happens to? Whose joints slip out of place like this? And I've had a calf muscle just tear off my bone three times in my life. You can still see the dent in my calf where it happened last time. Each time it was from some little thing, no big trauma at all. This Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is the only thing that makes sense of it. The cardiologist is the one who diagnosed me with the dysautonomia. And the Ehlers-Danlos tends to go hand-in-hand with that. But I don't know if she'll know much about it or not. We'll see. This is just a check up so she can see how I'm doing on the rx she put me on. I'm only taking two pills a day, not the three she prescribed, mostly because I always forgot the dose in the middle of,the day. And I need to talk to her about the amount of salt and blood volume and all that. I've had a few crashes, but not too many. I've been careful to keep up with the salt and fluids since the last one.
And I'm not taking the prescriptions as ordered by the immunologist, either! I'm a free-thinker, here! Taking all three just had me knocked out, and taking only the one rx at night has worked really well in lessening my reactions, so ... he's Russian. I hope he is okay with me being non-compliant. Especially since that seems to be my middle name.
My doctor's nurse has not made me an appointment with the genetics department yet. She tried to this afternoon but was just put on hold. She'll probably have something for me by tomorrow.
I did exercise, today -- surprise, surprise! I only had time for thirty minutes, but I did get that in. I ate very well today. I made fish tacos tonight with lettuce, red and green cabbage, and homemade pico de gallo. And I made it to the grocery store! There is actually a little bit of food in the house again.
I'm so discouraged about the housekeeper. I thought I had gotten her to quit just stuffing things here, there, and everywhere. But tonight I found several pieces of mail that she had stuffed in a random drawer in the kitchen and put instructions for a new coffee pot on top of them. One of them is a bill, and one of them is the pledge card for a donation I committed to over the phone. I think these are probably a month or more old. My husband says to just let it go. I'm really out of time to teach her to be a better worker. I just want to take her by the shoulders and SHAKE her and say, "FOCUS!!! Pay attention!!" Which is iron ice, of course, since that's what I want to do to myself a lot of the time!
I read something yesterday about the necessity of showing yourself compassion when you are suffering. I don't know, maybe I should give it a try. After all ... telling myself what a Loooooser I am, doesn't seem to be working so well.
Tomorrow, I would like to get up in time to package up several return packages to be taken to the UPS. I still haven't written the people who sold me the dirty evening dress or the resort that charged us for a "beach-front" room which looked directly at the pool. Don't reckon I'll get either of these things done tomorrow, either. My husband would tell me to let it go, but ... can't do it!
Okay. Well, here's to another day tomorrow. Hope yours is a good one.
Cheers!
Lisa
Monday, March 31, 2014
Day 45 - 11:00 am
Dear Reader:
11:00 am - day is off to a shaky start. I was tense last night about the week ahead, and my ankle was hurting badly, so I didn't get to sleep until after 2:44 this morning. I wasn't able to get up at 8:00 which had been my goal, but I was awake by around 9:30. I was still pretty groggy so I did some emailing and phone calls and looking for bedding online before I got up. Now I'm dressed with my makeup and hair done. I'm about to grab a quick breakfast and exercise. I found a Peter Rabbit apple and grape fruit pack under my bed which was a nice surprise. Not as nice, though, as the time I found a forgotten York mint in my purse! I am already out of time for my day, though, because I need to leave the house by 12:30. Today is the day they begin interviewing my husband's replacement, so that's freaky. There was talk on Facebook last night of kidnapping me so he can't leave!
I won't be being a boss today. My housekeeper's childcare gave her her two week notice yesterday and she's super upset. She has a severely disabled child who used to go to a program thechool had ... until they almost let her die. Now, she has in-home care ... but only for two more weeks. It was hard enough finding this woman! So I've already been giving her hugs and comforting her, and it's too big a leap to take off the mothering hat and put on the boss hat. Her mother used to just disappear on her and her sister for weeks and even months at a time, so I think this abandonment by someone she relies on is tapping into unresolved pain from her past abandonment issues. I'm like Lucy in Peanuts. "The psychiatrist is in -- 5 cents. That's all for now. Except to complain one last time about how badly my ankle hurts. There, I'm done.
Cheers!
Lisa
11:00 am - day is off to a shaky start. I was tense last night about the week ahead, and my ankle was hurting badly, so I didn't get to sleep until after 2:44 this morning. I wasn't able to get up at 8:00 which had been my goal, but I was awake by around 9:30. I was still pretty groggy so I did some emailing and phone calls and looking for bedding online before I got up. Now I'm dressed with my makeup and hair done. I'm about to grab a quick breakfast and exercise. I found a Peter Rabbit apple and grape fruit pack under my bed which was a nice surprise. Not as nice, though, as the time I found a forgotten York mint in my purse! I am already out of time for my day, though, because I need to leave the house by 12:30. Today is the day they begin interviewing my husband's replacement, so that's freaky. There was talk on Facebook last night of kidnapping me so he can't leave!
I won't be being a boss today. My housekeeper's childcare gave her her two week notice yesterday and she's super upset. She has a severely disabled child who used to go to a program thechool had ... until they almost let her die. Now, she has in-home care ... but only for two more weeks. It was hard enough finding this woman! So I've already been giving her hugs and comforting her, and it's too big a leap to take off the mothering hat and put on the boss hat. Her mother used to just disappear on her and her sister for weeks and even months at a time, so I think this abandonment by someone she relies on is tapping into unresolved pain from her past abandonment issues. I'm like Lucy in Peanuts. "The psychiatrist is in -- 5 cents. That's all for now. Except to complain one last time about how badly my ankle hurts. There, I'm done.
Cheers!
Lisa
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Day 46 - Preparing for a Rough Week Ahead!
Dear Reader,
Today has been a restful day. My husband was coughing so bad during the night that I thought we should not go to church. He is seldom sick, but this round of bronchitis has sure hung around. He doesn't usually get chest infections, I think this may be a first. For me, every cold turns into bronchitis!
We have filled out the lease on the apartment for our daughter. She will be able to move in this week. Pretty exciting for her! We were able to get a seven month lease at the same price a twelve month lease would cost, so that's what we did. My husband worries if she is going to be able to handle living alone. But, she has now done some designs that will be on billboards! Isn't that fabulous??
I have a very full week this week. I have to go out of town on two separate days and have the spot compression on Friday. I plan to be very much on top of my schedule this week. I have to! There's not that much time left!my husband starts work in about five weeks! So I have to quit messing around with all this and get busy! I see the cardiologist on Tuesday about the dysautonomia and the immunologist as well about the chronic idiopathic angioedema. Hopefully I'll get my bone density test back this week.mi still have to see the genetics department and get in to see the dermatologist for a checkup.
Today I just slept late and then spent a lot of time doing ... something! I just don't remember what! We went with our daughter to dinner and then to see "Noah." I enjoyed it. I'm not crazy about his interpretation of the life and times, but I did appreciate the vision the director had and his execution of it. He did something that I don't think I've seen anyone else do before. Instead of Noah assuming that he and his family were supposed to repopulate the world, he thinks they are just supposed to take care of the animals until the flood is over and then for them, the last of the human race, to die out because of their wickedness and for how they have ruined the creation they were supposed to care for. So, my husband and daughter were bored to tears. If you see it, don't go thinking its an action or drama film. Go, instead, to experience the director's vision and filmography. Here is a review that I thought was balanced and good: "Why Noah Floats My Boat" in the New Zealand Herald (www.nzherald.co.nz)
I have to do something tomorrow that I hate doing ... I have to be a BOSS. I've been avoiding dealing with my housekeeper on some things she's falling off on. She is also supposed to have written an essay for me. "WHAT!?!," you exclaim! Relax. Her written language skills are very, very poor and she's never going to pass the GED as they are. So we decided that she would write essays for me to proofread and correct before she takes the test.
I haven't heard back from the homeless man. With me being a woman and all, it's a little complicated for me to be getting in touch with him. I talked to the pastor if a church and I know one of their pastors was going to go see him, so hopefully that's worked out and he's getting help through them. I wanted to start tomorrow by getting up at 7:00, and I still might. But it's 12:14am now so I'd better get myself in bed. Have to put together my ever-present to-do list first. No time for BEING tomorrow!
Cheers!
Lisa
Today has been a restful day. My husband was coughing so bad during the night that I thought we should not go to church. He is seldom sick, but this round of bronchitis has sure hung around. He doesn't usually get chest infections, I think this may be a first. For me, every cold turns into bronchitis!
We have filled out the lease on the apartment for our daughter. She will be able to move in this week. Pretty exciting for her! We were able to get a seven month lease at the same price a twelve month lease would cost, so that's what we did. My husband worries if she is going to be able to handle living alone. But, she has now done some designs that will be on billboards! Isn't that fabulous??
I have a very full week this week. I have to go out of town on two separate days and have the spot compression on Friday. I plan to be very much on top of my schedule this week. I have to! There's not that much time left!my husband starts work in about five weeks! So I have to quit messing around with all this and get busy! I see the cardiologist on Tuesday about the dysautonomia and the immunologist as well about the chronic idiopathic angioedema. Hopefully I'll get my bone density test back this week.mi still have to see the genetics department and get in to see the dermatologist for a checkup.
Today I just slept late and then spent a lot of time doing ... something! I just don't remember what! We went with our daughter to dinner and then to see "Noah." I enjoyed it. I'm not crazy about his interpretation of the life and times, but I did appreciate the vision the director had and his execution of it. He did something that I don't think I've seen anyone else do before. Instead of Noah assuming that he and his family were supposed to repopulate the world, he thinks they are just supposed to take care of the animals until the flood is over and then for them, the last of the human race, to die out because of their wickedness and for how they have ruined the creation they were supposed to care for. So, my husband and daughter were bored to tears. If you see it, don't go thinking its an action or drama film. Go, instead, to experience the director's vision and filmography. Here is a review that I thought was balanced and good: "Why Noah Floats My Boat" in the New Zealand Herald (www.nzherald.co.nz)
I have to do something tomorrow that I hate doing ... I have to be a BOSS. I've been avoiding dealing with my housekeeper on some things she's falling off on. She is also supposed to have written an essay for me. "WHAT!?!," you exclaim! Relax. Her written language skills are very, very poor and she's never going to pass the GED as they are. So we decided that she would write essays for me to proofread and correct before she takes the test.
I haven't heard back from the homeless man. With me being a woman and all, it's a little complicated for me to be getting in touch with him. I talked to the pastor if a church and I know one of their pastors was going to go see him, so hopefully that's worked out and he's getting help through them. I wanted to start tomorrow by getting up at 7:00, and I still might. But it's 12:14am now so I'd better get myself in bed. Have to put together my ever-present to-do list first. No time for BEING tomorrow!
Cheers!
Lisa
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Day 47 - A Better Day ... Everyone Gets to Live!
Dear a Reader,
Today has been a better day. I wasn't able to go to sleep until around 2:30 this morning because my back was hurting so bad. Thankfully the joint went back into place. But it's been a bad couple of days for joints. The left ankle is out of place and, something new is that the bone that runs along the bottom of,the outside edge of my right foot apparently has a joint somewhere along it and it seems to have come out. Very strange feeling. When do I see the genetics department?? I couldn't reach anyone in my doctor's office on Friday. I have sent in an email to them.
Oh, my mammogram came back with some question marks. I have to go in next week and have a spot compression test on my left breast and maybe an ultrasound. If you e never had a spot compression, well, I'll just say one thing. You will NEVER complain about a mammogram again, because it isn't even in the same ballpark as a spot compression! I've had this happen before. About eight years ago, before we moved here, a tricky mammogram came back. The little town we were in actually had a breast specialist. Well, she didn't like the looks of things and decided that she wanted to remove this area. I said no way. My husband said, if the doctor says it needs to come out, it needs to come out! You need to do what your doctor says is necessary (followed by many exclamation marks)! I said, no way! So we came to a compromise. If I found a surgeon who said it did NOT need to come out, then that was it. But if I couldn't find one who would say that, then I had to consider having this area removed. Well, I took everything to the one surgeon I trusted in that town and he decided to do an ultrasound-guided biopsy. I am, of course, allergic to even topical anesthetics, so I had to have three biopsies taken au natural! Have you ever seen how BIG a biopsy needle is??? Well, I had to have that thing rammed in me in three different places! My husband came and I held his hand and did not even break it! The results came back benign and that it was some type of blend of fatty and fibrous tissue, but nothing that needed to come out. Yeah!! Sometime I'll have to tell you the story of how I got him to agree to let me use midwives for our second baby! Boy, did THAT turn into a contest of wills!
So, anyway, I'm not worried about it. Not at this point, anyway. The good thing is that I will know the results before I leave because a radiologist will be there actually looking at everything as it's done.
I slept till 10:30 this morning, so I got 8 hours of sleep. Not the 10 I was hoping for, but better than it could have been. I then started researching my housekeeper's recurrent ear and sinus infections and texting her information, trying to get her to go see an ENT. Then our son called asking if we wanted to go get lunch. I said sure though as you know, the LAST thing I wanted was to leave the house! But we went out and had a nice time, even though our daughter couldn't come. He seemed completely at ease being with us which was great. Oh! He called me "Mom" last week!!! He hasn't called me anything for a few years now, so that was music to my ears! And (drum roll) he got a JOB!!!! Were so excited! It's a temporary job for a month or two, but they want it to become a permanent position, so hopefully he will get to keep it. It's down town in the large city where our daughter is working. In fact, he's only about a block from her! I'm happy about this because it has him working in a professional setting in the busy downtown area. So this should be an easy way for him to ease into that kind of setting.
Our daughter went shopping at a nice second-hand store today for her apartment. She was snapping pictures and sending them to me. I told her everything was nice, but getting her into the apartment was taking a lot of money, so she was going to have to content herself with what she has and what she can borrow from me and my mother and gave her a local Craig's-list type webpage. She texted back, "okay" but I could tell from the tone of the text that she wasn't happy about it!
I am crazy swollen again and I don't know why.
I got almost nothing done today. After we got back from lunch I went into my lavender study and looked at pictures I've been saving for the new home and texting them to a friend for her opinion. Then, the funniest thing happened. You know how when you add something to pinterest it displays it on the main board? Well, I saw a couple of,things I was interested in and, when I opened them, I saw they had been posted by one of my daughter's best friends when lives in a different state. I mentored/discipled her and some other girls for five years. So it was so fun to see that I was looking at things pinned by her.
I have my clothes set out to go to,church tomorrow. I'm not sure if my husband is up to going or not. He's got a chest cold and has not been feeling good. I hope he's up to coming because we have missed for so long now. But, not only is he not feeling well, but he's had a crazy week. And something that is probably hard to understand is that he is in the newspaper very often and so when he goes out anywhere, he has to be on. I'm not so well known, so I can sit in the back anywhere and not be recognized. And about all anyone does when they do recognize me is smile at me, which is ok.
Oh, I made the unfortunate discovery of a fabulous company in Denmark called GreenGate. They have the most gorgeous stuff! If you like Cath Kidston things from England, you'll go crazy over this stuff! There isn't a US distributor yet, though. But their prices aren't bad, even when converted into our currency. I could spend a small fortune right now on them!
My anxiety is still pretty high, but not through the roof anymore. But next week is awful! I hope to spend tomorrow cataloging my library and piddling around.
Oh, last thing! My daughter asked me how we were going to take her things to her apartment. I said, well, you're going to get your brother and your boyfriend and any other friends you've got, find and borrow a pickup truck, and order pizza!! She was dismayed that we weren't going to use a MOVING COMPANY!!!
That's it for now. Have a blessed and restful day tomorrow!
Lisa
Today has been a better day. I wasn't able to go to sleep until around 2:30 this morning because my back was hurting so bad. Thankfully the joint went back into place. But it's been a bad couple of days for joints. The left ankle is out of place and, something new is that the bone that runs along the bottom of,the outside edge of my right foot apparently has a joint somewhere along it and it seems to have come out. Very strange feeling. When do I see the genetics department?? I couldn't reach anyone in my doctor's office on Friday. I have sent in an email to them.
Oh, my mammogram came back with some question marks. I have to go in next week and have a spot compression test on my left breast and maybe an ultrasound. If you e never had a spot compression, well, I'll just say one thing. You will NEVER complain about a mammogram again, because it isn't even in the same ballpark as a spot compression! I've had this happen before. About eight years ago, before we moved here, a tricky mammogram came back. The little town we were in actually had a breast specialist. Well, she didn't like the looks of things and decided that she wanted to remove this area. I said no way. My husband said, if the doctor says it needs to come out, it needs to come out! You need to do what your doctor says is necessary (followed by many exclamation marks)! I said, no way! So we came to a compromise. If I found a surgeon who said it did NOT need to come out, then that was it. But if I couldn't find one who would say that, then I had to consider having this area removed. Well, I took everything to the one surgeon I trusted in that town and he decided to do an ultrasound-guided biopsy. I am, of course, allergic to even topical anesthetics, so I had to have three biopsies taken au natural! Have you ever seen how BIG a biopsy needle is??? Well, I had to have that thing rammed in me in three different places! My husband came and I held his hand and did not even break it! The results came back benign and that it was some type of blend of fatty and fibrous tissue, but nothing that needed to come out. Yeah!! Sometime I'll have to tell you the story of how I got him to agree to let me use midwives for our second baby! Boy, did THAT turn into a contest of wills!
So, anyway, I'm not worried about it. Not at this point, anyway. The good thing is that I will know the results before I leave because a radiologist will be there actually looking at everything as it's done.
I slept till 10:30 this morning, so I got 8 hours of sleep. Not the 10 I was hoping for, but better than it could have been. I then started researching my housekeeper's recurrent ear and sinus infections and texting her information, trying to get her to go see an ENT. Then our son called asking if we wanted to go get lunch. I said sure though as you know, the LAST thing I wanted was to leave the house! But we went out and had a nice time, even though our daughter couldn't come. He seemed completely at ease being with us which was great. Oh! He called me "Mom" last week!!! He hasn't called me anything for a few years now, so that was music to my ears! And (drum roll) he got a JOB!!!! Were so excited! It's a temporary job for a month or two, but they want it to become a permanent position, so hopefully he will get to keep it. It's down town in the large city where our daughter is working. In fact, he's only about a block from her! I'm happy about this because it has him working in a professional setting in the busy downtown area. So this should be an easy way for him to ease into that kind of setting.
Our daughter went shopping at a nice second-hand store today for her apartment. She was snapping pictures and sending them to me. I told her everything was nice, but getting her into the apartment was taking a lot of money, so she was going to have to content herself with what she has and what she can borrow from me and my mother and gave her a local Craig's-list type webpage. She texted back, "okay" but I could tell from the tone of the text that she wasn't happy about it!
I am crazy swollen again and I don't know why.
I got almost nothing done today. After we got back from lunch I went into my lavender study and looked at pictures I've been saving for the new home and texting them to a friend for her opinion. Then, the funniest thing happened. You know how when you add something to pinterest it displays it on the main board? Well, I saw a couple of,things I was interested in and, when I opened them, I saw they had been posted by one of my daughter's best friends when lives in a different state. I mentored/discipled her and some other girls for five years. So it was so fun to see that I was looking at things pinned by her.
I have my clothes set out to go to,church tomorrow. I'm not sure if my husband is up to going or not. He's got a chest cold and has not been feeling good. I hope he's up to coming because we have missed for so long now. But, not only is he not feeling well, but he's had a crazy week. And something that is probably hard to understand is that he is in the newspaper very often and so when he goes out anywhere, he has to be on. I'm not so well known, so I can sit in the back anywhere and not be recognized. And about all anyone does when they do recognize me is smile at me, which is ok.
Oh, I made the unfortunate discovery of a fabulous company in Denmark called GreenGate. They have the most gorgeous stuff! If you like Cath Kidston things from England, you'll go crazy over this stuff! There isn't a US distributor yet, though. But their prices aren't bad, even when converted into our currency. I could spend a small fortune right now on them!
My anxiety is still pretty high, but not through the roof anymore. But next week is awful! I hope to spend tomorrow cataloging my library and piddling around.
Oh, last thing! My daughter asked me how we were going to take her things to her apartment. I said, well, you're going to get your brother and your boyfriend and any other friends you've got, find and borrow a pickup truck, and order pizza!! She was dismayed that we weren't going to use a MOVING COMPANY!!!
That's it for now. Have a blessed and restful day tomorrow!
Lisa
Friday, March 28, 2014
Day 48 - Frightfully Foul Mood Continues
Dear Reader,
The evening has not improved my mood, even though I did enjoy being with these particular people who have been so kind to us while we have lived here. But I am still so tired and my right pelvic joint has come out of place and is hurting so bad. My tendon at the top of my left ankle joint is strained badly for some reason and hurting a lot. And I'm so tired I could cry.
I intend to stay home tomorrow and go nowhere and see no one. Just work on my study and piddle around with things that need doing. No plans. No schedules. Just rest and relax and regroup.
I had a discouraging thought today. I'm on day 48. What if I finish this up and no significant changes are accomplished in my life.
This blog is definitely not ending with "Cheers!".
Lisa
The evening has not improved my mood, even though I did enjoy being with these particular people who have been so kind to us while we have lived here. But I am still so tired and my right pelvic joint has come out of place and is hurting so bad. My tendon at the top of my left ankle joint is strained badly for some reason and hurting a lot. And I'm so tired I could cry.
I intend to stay home tomorrow and go nowhere and see no one. Just work on my study and piddle around with things that need doing. No plans. No schedules. Just rest and relax and regroup.
I had a discouraging thought today. I'm on day 48. What if I finish this up and no significant changes are accomplished in my life.
This blog is definitely not ending with "Cheers!".
Lisa
Day 48 - Anxious, Angry, and Conflicted!
Dear Reader,
Here's the thing, I basically hate myself a lot of the time for not being a better person. A healthier, more disciplined, happier, more productive, more energetic person. My ideal. Most days I strive to become more like my ideal, but other days I hate myself for not already being that person. The current problem is that I am just exhausted from yesterday. Not just yesterday, of course, but everything else was topped off by yesterday. All the driving, the looking, the getting lost, the climbing stairs. Then driving an hour home and going to hear the speech. The speech was great! But being around people makes me so much more tired. That's the introvert in me. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test says that the way to know if you are an introvert or an extrovert is this: being around people fatigues you or gives you more energy. So, while everyone thinks I'm an amazing extrovert, I am actually an amazing introvert because being around other people always drains me.
So, I wake up this morning and am beyond exhausted! And I immediately start getting mad at myself for not being healthier and not being able to just hop up and get going on this day. After all, I got 8 hours of sleep, didn't I?? So what's my problem? My problem is that I'm a lazy, sorry excuse for a person! At least that's what I have told myself over and over today. I finally just left the house hoping I'd feel better if I did. I went to a quiet restaurant and read some, but it didn't help. Then I went to a beauty store because I'm out of all my skin care products. While looking around there I got more and more tired till I felt sick. When I get tired I have a harder time "pulling out" so I just kept looking for a fingernail polish! I finally picked one and came home, barely staying awake. I have to go to a dinner in an hour so I have just a little bit of time to try to sleep. The dinner, at least, is with people I do like and feel easy being with. It doesn't help that I am married to an energizer bunny!!!
That's it for now. I may check back in later.
Lisa
Here's the thing, I basically hate myself a lot of the time for not being a better person. A healthier, more disciplined, happier, more productive, more energetic person. My ideal. Most days I strive to become more like my ideal, but other days I hate myself for not already being that person. The current problem is that I am just exhausted from yesterday. Not just yesterday, of course, but everything else was topped off by yesterday. All the driving, the looking, the getting lost, the climbing stairs. Then driving an hour home and going to hear the speech. The speech was great! But being around people makes me so much more tired. That's the introvert in me. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test says that the way to know if you are an introvert or an extrovert is this: being around people fatigues you or gives you more energy. So, while everyone thinks I'm an amazing extrovert, I am actually an amazing introvert because being around other people always drains me.
So, I wake up this morning and am beyond exhausted! And I immediately start getting mad at myself for not being healthier and not being able to just hop up and get going on this day. After all, I got 8 hours of sleep, didn't I?? So what's my problem? My problem is that I'm a lazy, sorry excuse for a person! At least that's what I have told myself over and over today. I finally just left the house hoping I'd feel better if I did. I went to a quiet restaurant and read some, but it didn't help. Then I went to a beauty store because I'm out of all my skin care products. While looking around there I got more and more tired till I felt sick. When I get tired I have a harder time "pulling out" so I just kept looking for a fingernail polish! I finally picked one and came home, barely staying awake. I have to go to a dinner in an hour so I have just a little bit of time to try to sleep. The dinner, at least, is with people I do like and feel easy being with. It doesn't help that I am married to an energizer bunny!!!
That's it for now. I may check back in later.
Lisa
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Day 49 - I Think We Found Her Apartment!
Dear Reader,
I had a great day with my daughter. We looked at a million, okay ... more like 15 apartments. There were some that looked so bad that we didn't even stop. The bulk of one bedrooms in this city start at $1200! There are a few that start at $1050, one at $950, and a smattering in the $700-800's. Most of the ones below $700 are Section 8 housing. Not quite sure what that is, but we don't qualify. We pulled up to one place in the $700's that didn't look so bad that we just kept driving. We pulled up in the parking lot and there's a van painted every square inch with Alice in Wonderland pictures! My daughter said whoever that was does a lot of 'shrooms and probably sells. As we sat there she said, "I'd probably be murdered here!" One other place which was $750 should literally be featured in a horror movie! We walked inside double doors into kind of a lobby that had a bunch of dead and dying potted plants in it. The smell was almost overwhelming. I asked the (old) woman who was the manager when the complex had been built. She ignored me, so I asked again and she said in th '60's; and, boy, did it look it! So we climbed the stairs and then opened a door into a dimly lit long hallway with just a low-wattage light every fifteen feet or so. The doors into each apartment lined the hall which had no window of any kind. It was literally frightening! You could see the blood splashed up on the walls from the latest murder victim! Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but it is definitely within the range of easy possibilities that someone had been killed there at some time! We were both kind of freaking out by the time we got out of there. We pulled away and got down the road. I pulled off and we were both talking about how awful it smelled. I asked her if she had any perfume and she pulled out a rollerball of Acqua di Gio and we eagerly applied it to our wrists. Then we both started smelling our wrists to get that awful smell out of our noses and I said something like, "Drink in the luxury!" That made us both start laughing and we said at the same time, "We're so spoiled!" The other ones in the 700's that we looked at had various things about them that made them unsafe for a young woman living alone.
We did find a really nice one in the $800's. It's a ways out, but it shouldn't take more then thirty minutes for her to get to work with traffic, and it's not as far out as the other ones we found that were okay, but not quite as good. This one also wins out because it's the only one that's not on the ground floor and they have a police officer on duty at night. It's in a very good section of town and seems to be very safe. It even has a little fireplace in it! But, here's something really great about it. They have guest quarters where people can stay when they come to visit! So, when we come to see her, they have the equivalent of hotel rooms on the property that you can rent for $75 on week nights and $100 on weekends. That will come in handy when we come visit from New York.
We ate lunch and dinner together and then got in town and I went straight with my husband for his speech which was, as always, excellent! The students were so sweet. They gave us a going away present and then prayed over us. There were tears shed! Now THAT is something that just doesn't happen!!! When have you ever heard of students crying because their university president was moving?! I didn't even know we HAD a president when I was in school!
So, I obviously didn't get anything done towards any of my health goals other than having a bone density test done. And I didn't get anything done in terms of getting ready to move, either. I think tomorrow is all mine! Till 6:30 anyway when we have to go to a dinner. Maybe I can actually get some work done. I have put together a good to-do list, but I've done it a little bit differently. This time I put together a list that is for the entire weekend. It looks like, other than the dinner tomorrow night, the only other thing I have us a concert Sunday afternoon. At 3:00! Do these people not know that that is NAP TIME???
Well, till tomorrow night!
Lisa
I had a great day with my daughter. We looked at a million, okay ... more like 15 apartments. There were some that looked so bad that we didn't even stop. The bulk of one bedrooms in this city start at $1200! There are a few that start at $1050, one at $950, and a smattering in the $700-800's. Most of the ones below $700 are Section 8 housing. Not quite sure what that is, but we don't qualify. We pulled up to one place in the $700's that didn't look so bad that we just kept driving. We pulled up in the parking lot and there's a van painted every square inch with Alice in Wonderland pictures! My daughter said whoever that was does a lot of 'shrooms and probably sells. As we sat there she said, "I'd probably be murdered here!" One other place which was $750 should literally be featured in a horror movie! We walked inside double doors into kind of a lobby that had a bunch of dead and dying potted plants in it. The smell was almost overwhelming. I asked the (old) woman who was the manager when the complex had been built. She ignored me, so I asked again and she said in th '60's; and, boy, did it look it! So we climbed the stairs and then opened a door into a dimly lit long hallway with just a low-wattage light every fifteen feet or so. The doors into each apartment lined the hall which had no window of any kind. It was literally frightening! You could see the blood splashed up on the walls from the latest murder victim! Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but it is definitely within the range of easy possibilities that someone had been killed there at some time! We were both kind of freaking out by the time we got out of there. We pulled away and got down the road. I pulled off and we were both talking about how awful it smelled. I asked her if she had any perfume and she pulled out a rollerball of Acqua di Gio and we eagerly applied it to our wrists. Then we both started smelling our wrists to get that awful smell out of our noses and I said something like, "Drink in the luxury!" That made us both start laughing and we said at the same time, "We're so spoiled!" The other ones in the 700's that we looked at had various things about them that made them unsafe for a young woman living alone.
We did find a really nice one in the $800's. It's a ways out, but it shouldn't take more then thirty minutes for her to get to work with traffic, and it's not as far out as the other ones we found that were okay, but not quite as good. This one also wins out because it's the only one that's not on the ground floor and they have a police officer on duty at night. It's in a very good section of town and seems to be very safe. It even has a little fireplace in it! But, here's something really great about it. They have guest quarters where people can stay when they come to visit! So, when we come to see her, they have the equivalent of hotel rooms on the property that you can rent for $75 on week nights and $100 on weekends. That will come in handy when we come visit from New York.
We ate lunch and dinner together and then got in town and I went straight with my husband for his speech which was, as always, excellent! The students were so sweet. They gave us a going away present and then prayed over us. There were tears shed! Now THAT is something that just doesn't happen!!! When have you ever heard of students crying because their university president was moving?! I didn't even know we HAD a president when I was in school!
So, I obviously didn't get anything done towards any of my health goals other than having a bone density test done. And I didn't get anything done in terms of getting ready to move, either. I think tomorrow is all mine! Till 6:30 anyway when we have to go to a dinner. Maybe I can actually get some work done. I have put together a good to-do list, but I've done it a little bit differently. This time I put together a list that is for the entire weekend. It looks like, other than the dinner tomorrow night, the only other thing I have us a concert Sunday afternoon. At 3:00! Do these people not know that that is NAP TIME???
Well, till tomorrow night!
Lisa
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Day 50 - A 100% Unproductive Day
Dear Reader,
I am working hard to not be angry at myself and tell myself what an awful, worthless person I am. That is my go-to attitude when a day doesn't go well and there's no one else at fault. I got up okay, but I was so tired! I got dressed and everything but I did not want to workout until after I had a prayer time, which I had missed the last couple of days. So I did that and worked a little on a few odds and ends at my desk until my husband came home for lunch. I realized that I was really and truly exhausted and almost went back to bed. That's what I should have done, but instead I laud down with my husband for a nap. I wasn't able to sleep, though, because... well, I don't want to say that my husband SNORED or anything, but let's just say that it was intermittently quite LOUD in the room! Too loud for me to sleep. I should have just gotten up and come up to bed. But I tried to think how I could take a very low-energy day and make it still count for something. I thought about it, but not very thoroughly because what I wound up doing was hitting those lime tortilla chips and a Coke Zero and going through apartment options again. I was still dong that when my husband came back home. He said he was so exhausted and asked if I wanted to go out for dinner. Well, you can guess my answer to that! Then he asked if I wanted to go see God's Not Dead and I said certainly. We went out to eat and then drove to the theater and -- get this -- slept for about 40 minutes in the car before the movie started! Then we came home and I got in the tub and washed my hair and did one last round looking at apartments. I've got a list put together and texted it to her earlier and told her to look at which ones she wanted to see tomorrow.
Then I realized that I had forgotten to read my Bible during the day, so I got in bed and continued in 1 Chronicles, which I'm actually enjoying this time! But now it is almost 1:00 yet again. Tomorrow will be a super full day with looking at apartments, having a bone density test done, and getting back into town to hear a speech my husband is giving to one of the campus ministries on campus. It's pretty rare for a president to be a Believer, so they love having him speak once or twice a year and usually invite the other ministries to come join them.
The movie was, overall, pretty good. They overplayed some of the characters, of course. But honestly, the way Christians ate usually characterized in movies, I can't feel too bad about it! One thing they did that I liked was they had an Islamic man who,found out his daughter was a Christian and he threw her out of the house. But it shows him collapsing in the hallway, weeping. Earlier he told his daughter how much he loved her, so I liked that they did not paint him as some terrible person and they made him three-dimensional. I think it captured the isolation college freshmen Christians feel when they go away to school and are afraid that they are alone in their faith and everyone will be against them. They had their protagonist play this out in his,life because everyone else in his classroom signs a paper saying that God is dead. His parents don't want him to take a chance on making a bad grade in the class which could become a problem when he tried to go to law school. And his girlfriend just flat out breaks up with him. So the writers make it as tough on him as any freshman's worst imaginations could be.
I would say that the antagonist was overplayed as a bad guy if I had not had my own run in with a professor a few years ago, as an adult, who I think could easily be as awful as this professor is portrayed. My husband and I both laughed when the movie showed his office, because NO professor's office is that big or that lavish! But I think it captured the idea that he was powerful and contrasted with the students's small dorm room. There is sub-plot of one pastor and his African missionary friend trying to take a trip. They figure in at the end, but I think it felt too tacked on and extraneous. Bt, all together, I think it does a good job for it's target market which I assume is,probably 14-20 year olds.
So,,tomorrow will also be an unproductive day, except that I'll be spending time with my daughter looking for her first apartment. The evening after I get back will be taken up with the speech. So maybe I'll get back in track Friday!
I read some in The Energy Bus this morning. I liked what he said about change can onlymtake place when you both hope and believe that you can change ... and I do.
Hope,you are doing well! Wish me and my daughter a good time together tomorrow!
Lisa
I am working hard to not be angry at myself and tell myself what an awful, worthless person I am. That is my go-to attitude when a day doesn't go well and there's no one else at fault. I got up okay, but I was so tired! I got dressed and everything but I did not want to workout until after I had a prayer time, which I had missed the last couple of days. So I did that and worked a little on a few odds and ends at my desk until my husband came home for lunch. I realized that I was really and truly exhausted and almost went back to bed. That's what I should have done, but instead I laud down with my husband for a nap. I wasn't able to sleep, though, because... well, I don't want to say that my husband SNORED or anything, but let's just say that it was intermittently quite LOUD in the room! Too loud for me to sleep. I should have just gotten up and come up to bed. But I tried to think how I could take a very low-energy day and make it still count for something. I thought about it, but not very thoroughly because what I wound up doing was hitting those lime tortilla chips and a Coke Zero and going through apartment options again. I was still dong that when my husband came back home. He said he was so exhausted and asked if I wanted to go out for dinner. Well, you can guess my answer to that! Then he asked if I wanted to go see God's Not Dead and I said certainly. We went out to eat and then drove to the theater and -- get this -- slept for about 40 minutes in the car before the movie started! Then we came home and I got in the tub and washed my hair and did one last round looking at apartments. I've got a list put together and texted it to her earlier and told her to look at which ones she wanted to see tomorrow.
Then I realized that I had forgotten to read my Bible during the day, so I got in bed and continued in 1 Chronicles, which I'm actually enjoying this time! But now it is almost 1:00 yet again. Tomorrow will be a super full day with looking at apartments, having a bone density test done, and getting back into town to hear a speech my husband is giving to one of the campus ministries on campus. It's pretty rare for a president to be a Believer, so they love having him speak once or twice a year and usually invite the other ministries to come join them.
The movie was, overall, pretty good. They overplayed some of the characters, of course. But honestly, the way Christians ate usually characterized in movies, I can't feel too bad about it! One thing they did that I liked was they had an Islamic man who,found out his daughter was a Christian and he threw her out of the house. But it shows him collapsing in the hallway, weeping. Earlier he told his daughter how much he loved her, so I liked that they did not paint him as some terrible person and they made him three-dimensional. I think it captured the isolation college freshmen Christians feel when they go away to school and are afraid that they are alone in their faith and everyone will be against them. They had their protagonist play this out in his,life because everyone else in his classroom signs a paper saying that God is dead. His parents don't want him to take a chance on making a bad grade in the class which could become a problem when he tried to go to law school. And his girlfriend just flat out breaks up with him. So the writers make it as tough on him as any freshman's worst imaginations could be.
I would say that the antagonist was overplayed as a bad guy if I had not had my own run in with a professor a few years ago, as an adult, who I think could easily be as awful as this professor is portrayed. My husband and I both laughed when the movie showed his office, because NO professor's office is that big or that lavish! But I think it captured the idea that he was powerful and contrasted with the students's small dorm room. There is sub-plot of one pastor and his African missionary friend trying to take a trip. They figure in at the end, but I think it felt too tacked on and extraneous. Bt, all together, I think it does a good job for it's target market which I assume is,probably 14-20 year olds.
So,,tomorrow will also be an unproductive day, except that I'll be spending time with my daughter looking for her first apartment. The evening after I get back will be taken up with the speech. So maybe I'll get back in track Friday!
I read some in The Energy Bus this morning. I liked what he said about change can onlymtake place when you both hope and believe that you can change ... and I do.
Hope,you are doing well! Wish me and my daughter a good time together tomorrow!
Lisa
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Day 51 - A Busy Day
Dear Reader,
I filmed the little tv show today. In fact, we wound up filming enough for two different shows because of the amount of research I had done on the house. I researched more things right up until 45 minutes before we were to start, I finally stopped and made myself pull it all,together with the new information I had. It got really interesting. I learned about a lot of Indian attacks that took place right around where I live? It was really bad with them killing women and children and scalping them. One family was slaughtered right in this vicinity. Apparently the French were inciting the Indians against the settlers.
Another tidbit of information I came across was about the third owner of the house, who married the daughter of the second owner after the father died. I found a family who has their geneological records online and they have this family in their family tree. But they don't know that their was a child born to that marriage, but I have met the daughter who now lives in Houston, another thing interesting and sad is that this man who was the third owner wound up dying in a Salvation Army in Galveston, Texas. I sent the family with the website my information with an invitation to compare notes.
I was so tired by the time the whole thing was finished. It went on for about three and a half hours with me in high heels! I was so tired and I hadn't eaten lunch, so I made a couple of wraps with romaine and tomatoes and turkey lunch meat that were good. But I was still a little hungry and I went downstairs and opened a bag of tortilla chips with "just a hint of lime." Oh my gosh they were good! I ate too many for sure. They are sitting outside my bedroom now calling me name. But I am Ulysses strapped to the mast and I shall NOT give in to temptation!
I laid down to sleep for a while and then had to get up and go to a dinner and a speech. You'll laugh at this. The speaker was someone famous and highly visible. You would probably know who it was if I told you. I got there a little late only to find pictures being taken of my husband and this gorgeous woman who had her arm around his waist. I walked up to them and picked her hand up off of his waist and put it down at her side! Now the staff and development officers know me well and just started laughing really hard, and the woman laughed, too, which was good since it turned out she was our guest speaker! I honestly thought it was just one of our students and I was being playful with them. But, nope! It was this very famous woman!
I can't decide what to do tomorrow, other than knowing I plan to exercise. But I have enough errands to take up the entire day. But I also want to get back to my study and finish it! Especially since I have to go to the nearby city and have a bone density rest done and look at apartments with my daughter. We had a snow storm this morning, so she decided to not go today and to go with me on Thursday. So, what ibe done is to plan two different schedules for tomorrow. They both start the same, but them one is the errands and the other is to work in my study with just a few errands that have to be done. I'll decide on the morning which seems most important to do.
My left foot is still really hurting. I think that bone is still out of place and it hurts pretty good. I'm going to wrap it for tonight. I have to see the chiropractor tomorrow anyway, so I'll have him work on it, too. One time when my foot was badly out of joint, he had to hold it in one hand and hammer on the heel with his fist! I was yelling it hurt so bad, and probably terrified patients in the waiting room! The other reason I have to go in is because the young woman who taped my back up the other day used the wrong tape. There is no getting this stuff off of me and it would take my skin off with it if I ripped it off. So I'm going to have to have them soak it with oil or something yo get it yo come off. I don't think it's going to be a BIT of fun!
I'm super tired so there's no time for "deep thoughts" and I'm going on to bed! I've been too busy all day for reflection. I hope you have a great day tomorrow and a restful evening.
Cheers!
Lisa
I filmed the little tv show today. In fact, we wound up filming enough for two different shows because of the amount of research I had done on the house. I researched more things right up until 45 minutes before we were to start, I finally stopped and made myself pull it all,together with the new information I had. It got really interesting. I learned about a lot of Indian attacks that took place right around where I live? It was really bad with them killing women and children and scalping them. One family was slaughtered right in this vicinity. Apparently the French were inciting the Indians against the settlers.
Another tidbit of information I came across was about the third owner of the house, who married the daughter of the second owner after the father died. I found a family who has their geneological records online and they have this family in their family tree. But they don't know that their was a child born to that marriage, but I have met the daughter who now lives in Houston, another thing interesting and sad is that this man who was the third owner wound up dying in a Salvation Army in Galveston, Texas. I sent the family with the website my information with an invitation to compare notes.
I was so tired by the time the whole thing was finished. It went on for about three and a half hours with me in high heels! I was so tired and I hadn't eaten lunch, so I made a couple of wraps with romaine and tomatoes and turkey lunch meat that were good. But I was still a little hungry and I went downstairs and opened a bag of tortilla chips with "just a hint of lime." Oh my gosh they were good! I ate too many for sure. They are sitting outside my bedroom now calling me name. But I am Ulysses strapped to the mast and I shall NOT give in to temptation!
I laid down to sleep for a while and then had to get up and go to a dinner and a speech. You'll laugh at this. The speaker was someone famous and highly visible. You would probably know who it was if I told you. I got there a little late only to find pictures being taken of my husband and this gorgeous woman who had her arm around his waist. I walked up to them and picked her hand up off of his waist and put it down at her side! Now the staff and development officers know me well and just started laughing really hard, and the woman laughed, too, which was good since it turned out she was our guest speaker! I honestly thought it was just one of our students and I was being playful with them. But, nope! It was this very famous woman!
I can't decide what to do tomorrow, other than knowing I plan to exercise. But I have enough errands to take up the entire day. But I also want to get back to my study and finish it! Especially since I have to go to the nearby city and have a bone density rest done and look at apartments with my daughter. We had a snow storm this morning, so she decided to not go today and to go with me on Thursday. So, what ibe done is to plan two different schedules for tomorrow. They both start the same, but them one is the errands and the other is to work in my study with just a few errands that have to be done. I'll decide on the morning which seems most important to do.
My left foot is still really hurting. I think that bone is still out of place and it hurts pretty good. I'm going to wrap it for tonight. I have to see the chiropractor tomorrow anyway, so I'll have him work on it, too. One time when my foot was badly out of joint, he had to hold it in one hand and hammer on the heel with his fist! I was yelling it hurt so bad, and probably terrified patients in the waiting room! The other reason I have to go in is because the young woman who taped my back up the other day used the wrong tape. There is no getting this stuff off of me and it would take my skin off with it if I ripped it off. So I'm going to have to have them soak it with oil or something yo get it yo come off. I don't think it's going to be a BIT of fun!
I'm super tired so there's no time for "deep thoughts" and I'm going on to bed! I've been too busy all day for reflection. I hope you have a great day tomorrow and a restful evening.
Cheers!
Lisa
Monday, March 24, 2014
Day 52 - Part Deux, or: How I Wasted Time Tonight!
Dear Reader,
It's almost midnight and I am not asleep yet ... obviously! So I decided to figure out how I wasted time this evening. I came upstairs at the right time, but I got in bed with my husband before taking my bath just to be with him as he fell asleep. Then I did a lot more research for an apartment for my daughter and texting back and forth with her. She is going to look at the ones I've found tomorrow and is very nervous about it. I played a Free Cell game, I went downstairs and got a soy/peach yogurt to eat. Hmmmm, I know I did some other things, but I can't think of them yet. I'm not quite sure that I can consider the apartment-looking time as a complete waist since it did yield a small complex that I had missed. Perfect location, good price, and described in one magazine as being one of the most beautiful vintage apartments in the city.
I'm in the bath now and washing my hair and then going straight to sleep. Oh, I also sent a Facebook message to an alumni who has come out. I didn't get around to contacting the homeless man today. I really need to check on him tomorrow. A lot depends on whether his probation officer will let him transfer his probation to a different city.
I have a joint out in my foot again. Not the same foot as the other night, and it's a different joint that has never come out before. It's painful, but not that bad. Hope it goes back in place tonight. I've been more careful about keeping my blood volume up, drinking more water and increasing my salt intake.
I have to do the little television historical show tomorrow afternoon. I made some calls and learned a lot more about the house. Tomorrow I have to get right up and start pulling it all together. I learned, for instance, that a former family who owned the house has a fictionalized role in what might could be called a Southern Gothic trilogy written in the '20's by a woman who, even by today's standards would be considered bad! She grew up in a mansion in our town in a house owned by this family who at one time owned the house we live in! But I don't think it was actually our house. I don't think the years work out, and her house is described as antebellum and ours is not. Here's something funny you'll like. An older woman in town doesn't like our house because the daughter of the family I am obliquely referencing told her, in what is now our son's room, that there was no Santa Claus!
I did exercise again today and really enjoyed it. I didn't do those scorpions, though. I'm trying a new morning schedule: dressed, makeup, hair; exercise; chance clothes and out on jewelry, etc.; and then pray and read my Bible. Found out it takes me twelve minutes to put on my makeup, not five like I thought.
So, in thinking it's about tine to start panicking! Time is starting to race by!
I think I can sum up what I was trying to say this morning, and that is: mediocre days do not yield an extraordinary life.
That's it for now. Slightly mad at myself for spending too much time looking for apartments, but I'm going to let it slide!
The college where we are going put out an article in a magazine about how the Board hired "a Southerner"! They have a bunch of photos, including three with me. I am wearing three different hairstyles and two different hair colors!!! One of them is the WORST picture ever taken of me here or anywhere else! I have almost no makeup on because I overslept the morning my husband was opening a huge dormitory he built. I rolled out of bed and threw in a dress and mascara, ran a brush through my hair and dashed. Missed the ceremony and the pictures, but a photographer snapped off one picture of us together.. We had just gotten back from a white-water rafting vacation (FABULOUS fun!). At some point during one of our trips, I got hit right beneath my lower lip with the handle of an oar. So my lip and the area between Italy the chin is all swollen and bruised. And not only that, but my hair is RED from a mistake my hairdresser made and worked and worked to fix. But the best she could do was get it to a fairly bright red. And THIS is one if the pictures they had to use! Ah, the pain of wounded pride!
Alrighty then. Off to bed!
Cheers!
Lisa
It's almost midnight and I am not asleep yet ... obviously! So I decided to figure out how I wasted time this evening. I came upstairs at the right time, but I got in bed with my husband before taking my bath just to be with him as he fell asleep. Then I did a lot more research for an apartment for my daughter and texting back and forth with her. She is going to look at the ones I've found tomorrow and is very nervous about it. I played a Free Cell game, I went downstairs and got a soy/peach yogurt to eat. Hmmmm, I know I did some other things, but I can't think of them yet. I'm not quite sure that I can consider the apartment-looking time as a complete waist since it did yield a small complex that I had missed. Perfect location, good price, and described in one magazine as being one of the most beautiful vintage apartments in the city.
I'm in the bath now and washing my hair and then going straight to sleep. Oh, I also sent a Facebook message to an alumni who has come out. I didn't get around to contacting the homeless man today. I really need to check on him tomorrow. A lot depends on whether his probation officer will let him transfer his probation to a different city.
I have a joint out in my foot again. Not the same foot as the other night, and it's a different joint that has never come out before. It's painful, but not that bad. Hope it goes back in place tonight. I've been more careful about keeping my blood volume up, drinking more water and increasing my salt intake.
I have to do the little television historical show tomorrow afternoon. I made some calls and learned a lot more about the house. Tomorrow I have to get right up and start pulling it all together. I learned, for instance, that a former family who owned the house has a fictionalized role in what might could be called a Southern Gothic trilogy written in the '20's by a woman who, even by today's standards would be considered bad! She grew up in a mansion in our town in a house owned by this family who at one time owned the house we live in! But I don't think it was actually our house. I don't think the years work out, and her house is described as antebellum and ours is not. Here's something funny you'll like. An older woman in town doesn't like our house because the daughter of the family I am obliquely referencing told her, in what is now our son's room, that there was no Santa Claus!
I did exercise again today and really enjoyed it. I didn't do those scorpions, though. I'm trying a new morning schedule: dressed, makeup, hair; exercise; chance clothes and out on jewelry, etc.; and then pray and read my Bible. Found out it takes me twelve minutes to put on my makeup, not five like I thought.
So, in thinking it's about tine to start panicking! Time is starting to race by!
I think I can sum up what I was trying to say this morning, and that is: mediocre days do not yield an extraordinary life.
That's it for now. Slightly mad at myself for spending too much time looking for apartments, but I'm going to let it slide!
The college where we are going put out an article in a magazine about how the Board hired "a Southerner"! They have a bunch of photos, including three with me. I am wearing three different hairstyles and two different hair colors!!! One of them is the WORST picture ever taken of me here or anywhere else! I have almost no makeup on because I overslept the morning my husband was opening a huge dormitory he built. I rolled out of bed and threw in a dress and mascara, ran a brush through my hair and dashed. Missed the ceremony and the pictures, but a photographer snapped off one picture of us together.. We had just gotten back from a white-water rafting vacation (FABULOUS fun!). At some point during one of our trips, I got hit right beneath my lower lip with the handle of an oar. So my lip and the area between Italy the chin is all swollen and bruised. And not only that, but my hair is RED from a mistake my hairdresser made and worked and worked to fix. But the best she could do was get it to a fairly bright red. And THIS is one if the pictures they had to use! Ah, the pain of wounded pride!
Alrighty then. Off to bed!
Cheers!
Lisa
Day 52 - "What will this day be like, I wonder?"
"What will my future hold, I wonder?" Yes, I'm quoting for some I known reason from "The Sound of Music". Why, I don't know since I can't stand this musical and may never forgive e my husband for making me watch it so many times! But, I do like this one scene in which Julie Andrews (who I also can't stand, please don't hate me but ... that hairstyle for her entire life? Really??) stands at the door to the convent and sings this ONE song that I do like. Why will this day be like, I wonder? What will my future hold, I wonder?"
Here I am, trying to change my future. Annie Dillard wrote, "how we live our days is, of course, how we live our lives." So when I look at my life and how I need to change it, what I must see is that I have to change it THIS DAY. It's the choices I make today that will decide not only what this day will be like, but what my life will be like.
Bummer.
I want to live moderately undisciplined and unproductive days, making bad choices all along the way, but still have an extraordinary life.
These are not encouraging thoughts to begin a Monday morning with! (Or ... "with which to begin a Monday morning?" Have they decided you can end a sentence with a preposition or not??)
I have a big day ahead of me. I have to do tons of research on the house and make a lot of phone calls regarding it, catch up on emails, check on this homeless guy, pack up a bunch of things to return, and buy some face care products. I am completely out because I keep dithering between philosophy and Wexler. Either way, I have to drive down to the mall which will be a forty minute round-trip drive! There's enough on my to-DO list that I couldn't go to sleep last night.
But, so far, today has started out well despite the late night. I actually woke up before my alarm! This never happens! So I am up and dressed, but back in bed to put on my makeup because it is so cold!
So, what will my day be like? For the most part I am the one who decides the answer to the question with each choice I make throughout this day. I'm still so used to being a mom and having my day based, basically, on the lives of others. Having my hours dictated to me. The kids have to be waked up at this time. Taken to school at this time. Picked up at this time. Find out they have a project due tomorrow and don't have the supplies so we have to chase around town to find them. Dinner cooked by this time. Dishes washed. Kids to bed.
Yes, it's been quite a while since the kids were in school, but I think those years still impact me. And, frankly, a 22-year-old daughter who lives at home can take up almost as much time! Add the demands of a university president's life on top of that, and I'm still rolling with the punches. An art show at this time, a concert, a meeting, a speech, a dinner, a luncheon .... So, let the games begin! I'll check back in at the end if the day to tell you how things fared.
Oh, before I go. I had that mammogram done Friday and my breasts were just mauled by this older women, putting them I the right place and all that. She invited me to look at the images afterwards because she was impressed by how much dense breast tissue I had! (Now, that's a compliment you don't hear every day! Thank heavens!) anyway, she figured out who I was and said, "oh, you're the one who's moving to New York, right?" And it turns out that her granddaughter goes to our university and is in the band. Since we are big band enthusiasts and since she is in the front ensemble of the marching band, she probably knows who I am. I just hope that the dinner time conversation didn't turn into, "Oh, I gave Mrs. McNichols a mammogram today! She has a surprising amount of dense tissue in her breasts for a woman her age!"
Cheers!
Lisa
Here I am, trying to change my future. Annie Dillard wrote, "how we live our days is, of course, how we live our lives." So when I look at my life and how I need to change it, what I must see is that I have to change it THIS DAY. It's the choices I make today that will decide not only what this day will be like, but what my life will be like.
Bummer.
I want to live moderately undisciplined and unproductive days, making bad choices all along the way, but still have an extraordinary life.
These are not encouraging thoughts to begin a Monday morning with! (Or ... "with which to begin a Monday morning?" Have they decided you can end a sentence with a preposition or not??)
I have a big day ahead of me. I have to do tons of research on the house and make a lot of phone calls regarding it, catch up on emails, check on this homeless guy, pack up a bunch of things to return, and buy some face care products. I am completely out because I keep dithering between philosophy and Wexler. Either way, I have to drive down to the mall which will be a forty minute round-trip drive! There's enough on my to-DO list that I couldn't go to sleep last night.
But, so far, today has started out well despite the late night. I actually woke up before my alarm! This never happens! So I am up and dressed, but back in bed to put on my makeup because it is so cold!
So, what will my day be like? For the most part I am the one who decides the answer to the question with each choice I make throughout this day. I'm still so used to being a mom and having my day based, basically, on the lives of others. Having my hours dictated to me. The kids have to be waked up at this time. Taken to school at this time. Picked up at this time. Find out they have a project due tomorrow and don't have the supplies so we have to chase around town to find them. Dinner cooked by this time. Dishes washed. Kids to bed.
Yes, it's been quite a while since the kids were in school, but I think those years still impact me. And, frankly, a 22-year-old daughter who lives at home can take up almost as much time! Add the demands of a university president's life on top of that, and I'm still rolling with the punches. An art show at this time, a concert, a meeting, a speech, a dinner, a luncheon .... So, let the games begin! I'll check back in at the end if the day to tell you how things fared.
Oh, before I go. I had that mammogram done Friday and my breasts were just mauled by this older women, putting them I the right place and all that. She invited me to look at the images afterwards because she was impressed by how much dense breast tissue I had! (Now, that's a compliment you don't hear every day! Thank heavens!) anyway, she figured out who I was and said, "oh, you're the one who's moving to New York, right?" And it turns out that her granddaughter goes to our university and is in the band. Since we are big band enthusiasts and since she is in the front ensemble of the marching band, she probably knows who I am. I just hope that the dinner time conversation didn't turn into, "Oh, I gave Mrs. McNichols a mammogram today! She has a surprising amount of dense tissue in her breasts for a woman her age!"
Cheers!
Lisa
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Day 53 - Exercised! Loved it!
Dear Reader,
I got my lab tests back from the endocrinologist. He says my kidney function is off, so that's one more thing going on.
My ankle was back in place this morning, thank goodness! It was awfully painful last night. I frequently pull finger joints out of place when I put on hand cream. You know that kind of twisting motion you use? Well it often shifts one or more joints out of place.
I was up very late because of my ankle so, I, sorry to say, we stayed home from church again. I think it's been six weeks now. It's hard to get myself to go when I know we're leaving soon. And, this is awful for me to say, think, or feel ... but I'm not keen in the new music leader. Cute, young thing, but I bet she's just out of seminary and doesn't quite have the knack yet for putting together the music for a service. Since my husband used to be the unofficial impulsive minister at a church for years, I know the challenges. But she uses music that no one knows. It's not traditional or contemporary ... I don't know what it is, but it's not very good. And this is for the contemporary service. So, yes, I know that is shallow of me, but I'm just confessing the truth. Plus, she's got this very high soprano voice, very beautiful, but not really the kind of voice that can lead a congregation in a powerful song. So ... that's me being very, very picky. I hope so much that we can find a church in New York that will be a good fit for us doctrinally and musically and will let us both teach. Dream on! Haven't found such a church yet, and I'm 57!
So ... my blood pressure dropped suddenly this evening while I was starting on dinner. I had been thirsty most of the last two days, but it was always inconvenient to get a drink. So, when this happened, I went for,the potato chips, which I have been staying away from, but I didn't have any! So I salted some water and drank it and then just put some on my hand and licked it off! I had forgotten that you have to keep,your blood VOLUME up high by drinking water and having plenty of salt. I even have a recipe for a drink a woman makes that includes a teaspoon of water. Yup ... It does sound gross! She swears by it, thoug. Says it keeps her blood pressure from dropping more than anything else.
I did exercise today, and it felt jus GREAT! Really, really good. In fact, it was like my muscles wanted more later in the evening. I have always had a problem with getting overly enthusiastic with working out as soon as it started to feel good, and I would always pull a tendon,or something, I read that muscles strengthen more quickly than connective tissue, and thought that was why this happened. But now this Ehlers-Danlos syndrome makes more sense.
I have a super busy day tomorrow. I'll be giving a talk about the house we live in for a locally produced television program. It's not a big deal. Maybe twenty people will see it! But I want to learn some more about the house, so I am going to chase down a lot of information tomorrow and get ready for it.
We are busy looking for apartments for our daughter. If we could spend $1200 a month we could put her in something really great! But that's not in the range of possibilities. My OCD has clicked in and I am having a very hard time controlling myself online. I spent, do I really want to tell you this??, at least an hour and a half in bed looking at things online. And probably 45 minutes looking for pretty file folders!!! I find plenty of pretty ones, but I, just not going to spend $2 per folder, no matter how pretty they are!
I think I was a little too gung-ho on the back exercises this evening. There's this one exercise called the scorpion where you lay on your stomach and then you lift up a leg and swing it across your back to the other side of,your body and try to touch the floor. Pretty challenging, but it was going well today so I did more than I probably should have.
My mother told me, finally, that she is thinking of moving back to Texas. I think this sounds like a good choice for her, but any move is going to be hard on her. Plus, they will be doing a cat scan on her back soon to see what is causing some severe leg pain. It is possible that it is a blockage in the peripheral artery which may require a type of bypass surgery. She was complaining again tonight about how she just can't seem to die! I told her that God may not LET her died until she quits complaining about living and begins to be grateful! I was half-joking, but only half!
I have to check of some more things for this young man. Nothing can be done to help him too much if he can't get his probation officer to transfer him to Nashville. So, we'll see how that goes. I hope he has more resolve and determination than the young woman I tried to work with last. I finally had to cut her off and tell her she had to do one of three things for herself to show me that SHE wanted a different life because it seemed like I was the one who wanted it for her the most. She never responded and got back on drugs and living with the sleaze who got her started again. She was doing so well until he got in the picture. It still makes me sad. She had lost all custody of her three children to her mother, and her big goal was to clean her life up and get custody back. So, so, SO sad! It broke my heart.
Anyway ... maybe this guy is made of sterner stuff. I hope so!
I don't want to talk about being vs. doing anymore. I see that is was subconsciously aware of some of this that I have realized, which was why I was starting to do one thing a week to make me take better care of myself and why I decided to floss at least once a week and use the water pick and, more recently, put on my makeup and fix my hair first thing each morning. My massive to-do lists speak to how firmly I am turned in the direction of doing and not being.
Well, I think I'm finally getting sleepy so, good night! The race begins again tomorrow. As does the constant struggle with myself to do the right thing and be disciplined. It's like I'm a teenager rebelling against authority ... but I AM the authority! And since I am all about doing and have no time for being, but am trying to start investing the time into being ... I can see how that would create a lot of conflict within myself.
Have a great week, and ...
Cheers!
Lisa
I got my lab tests back from the endocrinologist. He says my kidney function is off, so that's one more thing going on.
My ankle was back in place this morning, thank goodness! It was awfully painful last night. I frequently pull finger joints out of place when I put on hand cream. You know that kind of twisting motion you use? Well it often shifts one or more joints out of place.
I was up very late because of my ankle so, I, sorry to say, we stayed home from church again. I think it's been six weeks now. It's hard to get myself to go when I know we're leaving soon. And, this is awful for me to say, think, or feel ... but I'm not keen in the new music leader. Cute, young thing, but I bet she's just out of seminary and doesn't quite have the knack yet for putting together the music for a service. Since my husband used to be the unofficial impulsive minister at a church for years, I know the challenges. But she uses music that no one knows. It's not traditional or contemporary ... I don't know what it is, but it's not very good. And this is for the contemporary service. So, yes, I know that is shallow of me, but I'm just confessing the truth. Plus, she's got this very high soprano voice, very beautiful, but not really the kind of voice that can lead a congregation in a powerful song. So ... that's me being very, very picky. I hope so much that we can find a church in New York that will be a good fit for us doctrinally and musically and will let us both teach. Dream on! Haven't found such a church yet, and I'm 57!
So ... my blood pressure dropped suddenly this evening while I was starting on dinner. I had been thirsty most of the last two days, but it was always inconvenient to get a drink. So, when this happened, I went for,the potato chips, which I have been staying away from, but I didn't have any! So I salted some water and drank it and then just put some on my hand and licked it off! I had forgotten that you have to keep,your blood VOLUME up high by drinking water and having plenty of salt. I even have a recipe for a drink a woman makes that includes a teaspoon of water. Yup ... It does sound gross! She swears by it, thoug. Says it keeps her blood pressure from dropping more than anything else.
I did exercise today, and it felt jus GREAT! Really, really good. In fact, it was like my muscles wanted more later in the evening. I have always had a problem with getting overly enthusiastic with working out as soon as it started to feel good, and I would always pull a tendon,or something, I read that muscles strengthen more quickly than connective tissue, and thought that was why this happened. But now this Ehlers-Danlos syndrome makes more sense.
I have a super busy day tomorrow. I'll be giving a talk about the house we live in for a locally produced television program. It's not a big deal. Maybe twenty people will see it! But I want to learn some more about the house, so I am going to chase down a lot of information tomorrow and get ready for it.
We are busy looking for apartments for our daughter. If we could spend $1200 a month we could put her in something really great! But that's not in the range of possibilities. My OCD has clicked in and I am having a very hard time controlling myself online. I spent, do I really want to tell you this??, at least an hour and a half in bed looking at things online. And probably 45 minutes looking for pretty file folders!!! I find plenty of pretty ones, but I, just not going to spend $2 per folder, no matter how pretty they are!
I think I was a little too gung-ho on the back exercises this evening. There's this one exercise called the scorpion where you lay on your stomach and then you lift up a leg and swing it across your back to the other side of,your body and try to touch the floor. Pretty challenging, but it was going well today so I did more than I probably should have.
My mother told me, finally, that she is thinking of moving back to Texas. I think this sounds like a good choice for her, but any move is going to be hard on her. Plus, they will be doing a cat scan on her back soon to see what is causing some severe leg pain. It is possible that it is a blockage in the peripheral artery which may require a type of bypass surgery. She was complaining again tonight about how she just can't seem to die! I told her that God may not LET her died until she quits complaining about living and begins to be grateful! I was half-joking, but only half!
I have to check of some more things for this young man. Nothing can be done to help him too much if he can't get his probation officer to transfer him to Nashville. So, we'll see how that goes. I hope he has more resolve and determination than the young woman I tried to work with last. I finally had to cut her off and tell her she had to do one of three things for herself to show me that SHE wanted a different life because it seemed like I was the one who wanted it for her the most. She never responded and got back on drugs and living with the sleaze who got her started again. She was doing so well until he got in the picture. It still makes me sad. She had lost all custody of her three children to her mother, and her big goal was to clean her life up and get custody back. So, so, SO sad! It broke my heart.
Anyway ... maybe this guy is made of sterner stuff. I hope so!
I don't want to talk about being vs. doing anymore. I see that is was subconsciously aware of some of this that I have realized, which was why I was starting to do one thing a week to make me take better care of myself and why I decided to floss at least once a week and use the water pick and, more recently, put on my makeup and fix my hair first thing each morning. My massive to-do lists speak to how firmly I am turned in the direction of doing and not being.
Well, I think I'm finally getting sleepy so, good night! The race begins again tomorrow. As does the constant struggle with myself to do the right thing and be disciplined. It's like I'm a teenager rebelling against authority ... but I AM the authority! And since I am all about doing and have no time for being, but am trying to start investing the time into being ... I can see how that would create a lot of conflict within myself.
Have a great week, and ...
Cheers!
Lisa
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Day 54 - Being vs. Doing Part 2
Well ... that didn't work! My ankle decided to come out of joint after I got in bed which was annoying and painful. I couldn't go to sleep and came to the couch, but was hurting badly enough that I couldn't sleep. I have it wrapped with an elastic bandage so it should start to feel better soon.
So, back to the idea of being and doing.
I want to be healthier.
I want to be aerobically fit.
I want to be physically strong.
I want to have less anxiety and be more peaceful.
I want to be well-rested.
I want to take better care of myself physically.
These are all things I want to BE and they all require time. But I don't want to spend the time working at being and becoming more because it takes away time from doing and accomplishing things.
The other New Year's resolutions are doing. I want to go through the entire house weeding out everything I possibly can, organizing everything for the move, and doing a household inventory. These are great and I like doing them. I don't resent the time they take and am, instead, eager to out the time in. But I don't want to take the time it takes to BECOME.
Here's how much time I would have to use to improve myself:
Let's take the first three things: healthier, fit, strong. None of that will just happen. To make it happen I will need to exercise regularly, five days a week (3 cardio, 2 strength training). So, let's say 45 minutes to exercise, 30 minutes for the round trip. That's 1 hour and 15 minutes a day. Being sure to eat something to keep blood sugar stable: 15 minutes a day. Makeup and hair each day: 15 minutes. Less anxious means prayer and Bible reading, 45 minutes a day. Being well-rested means 9 hours of sleep, and I understand that meditation would help a lot with that. So, I'll give up the goal of two, twenty-minute sessions a day and go,for one, fifteen minute a day session. Taking better care of myself is a pedicure, etc., move a week. So, let's say a massage is 60 minutes, a manicure 30, so split the difference and make it 45. Plus thirty minutes driving time is 1 hour and 15 minutes ( to one hour and 30 minutes) every week.
Daily that will require something like two,hours and fifteen minutes each day, with more once a week. Two,hours a day spent on myself just seems ludicrous!
Ok. Getting tired again. I'm going yo try to go to sleep again.
Lisa
So, back to the idea of being and doing.
I want to be healthier.
I want to be aerobically fit.
I want to be physically strong.
I want to have less anxiety and be more peaceful.
I want to be well-rested.
I want to take better care of myself physically.
These are all things I want to BE and they all require time. But I don't want to spend the time working at being and becoming more because it takes away time from doing and accomplishing things.
The other New Year's resolutions are doing. I want to go through the entire house weeding out everything I possibly can, organizing everything for the move, and doing a household inventory. These are great and I like doing them. I don't resent the time they take and am, instead, eager to out the time in. But I don't want to take the time it takes to BECOME.
Here's how much time I would have to use to improve myself:
Let's take the first three things: healthier, fit, strong. None of that will just happen. To make it happen I will need to exercise regularly, five days a week (3 cardio, 2 strength training). So, let's say 45 minutes to exercise, 30 minutes for the round trip. That's 1 hour and 15 minutes a day. Being sure to eat something to keep blood sugar stable: 15 minutes a day. Makeup and hair each day: 15 minutes. Less anxious means prayer and Bible reading, 45 minutes a day. Being well-rested means 9 hours of sleep, and I understand that meditation would help a lot with that. So, I'll give up the goal of two, twenty-minute sessions a day and go,for one, fifteen minute a day session. Taking better care of myself is a pedicure, etc., move a week. So, let's say a massage is 60 minutes, a manicure 30, so split the difference and make it 45. Plus thirty minutes driving time is 1 hour and 15 minutes ( to one hour and 30 minutes) every week.
Daily that will require something like two,hours and fifteen minutes each day, with more once a week. Two,hours a day spent on myself just seems ludicrous!
Ok. Getting tired again. I'm going yo try to go to sleep again.
Lisa
Day 54 - Being vs, Doing
Dear Reader,
Well, this was an okay day. Both my husband and I were a little on edge. Not at each other, just in general. I stayed up too late last night again. Wow, that's becoming a running refrain, isn't it? I'm under orders from my friend to be in bed and to QUIT everything by 11:00, but my husband is taking a shower, so I think I can squeeze by on a technicality tonight!
I think I've hit upon part of what is going on in me. I'm all about "doing" and less about "being." I mean, look at most of the things I'm trying to do in my life. Most of them have to do with personal growth, right? They are things that will contribute to who I am. But I am frustrated by these things and want to be doing something! I have been making myself put on my makeup and fix my hair each morning, and it is torture! I HATE it and all I want to do is quit and go do something. Honestly, you know how I used to put on my makeup? I would put on my under eye cream, foundation, blush and powder ... and then go DO something! Then I'd come back and do my eyeshadow and eye liner ... then go do something! Come back and out on mascara and eyebrow pencil. I've been not only making myself put on my makeup each morning, but I've also been making myself stay at it and finish it without stopping. I mean, I am talking about FIVE MINUTES here! And I can hardly bear to take the time to simply put on my makeup.
What were looking at here is a woman who has no longer got external circumstances that dictate her life for her. I don't HAVE to get up and go to work anymore. So I don't HAVE to put on my makeup and fox my hair. I don't have to make my family breakfast. I don't have to take the kids to school. I don't have to run frantically through the house looking for clean underwear for everyone! Virtually all the things I HAVE to do are in the evenings. So I am having to decide hw to arrange my life and the actually follow through.
Hmmmm. More to think about but my husband is in bed so I'll call it a night.
Cheers!
Lisa
Well, this was an okay day. Both my husband and I were a little on edge. Not at each other, just in general. I stayed up too late last night again. Wow, that's becoming a running refrain, isn't it? I'm under orders from my friend to be in bed and to QUIT everything by 11:00, but my husband is taking a shower, so I think I can squeeze by on a technicality tonight!
I think I've hit upon part of what is going on in me. I'm all about "doing" and less about "being." I mean, look at most of the things I'm trying to do in my life. Most of them have to do with personal growth, right? They are things that will contribute to who I am. But I am frustrated by these things and want to be doing something! I have been making myself put on my makeup and fix my hair each morning, and it is torture! I HATE it and all I want to do is quit and go do something. Honestly, you know how I used to put on my makeup? I would put on my under eye cream, foundation, blush and powder ... and then go DO something! Then I'd come back and do my eyeshadow and eye liner ... then go do something! Come back and out on mascara and eyebrow pencil. I've been not only making myself put on my makeup each morning, but I've also been making myself stay at it and finish it without stopping. I mean, I am talking about FIVE MINUTES here! And I can hardly bear to take the time to simply put on my makeup.
What were looking at here is a woman who has no longer got external circumstances that dictate her life for her. I don't HAVE to get up and go to work anymore. So I don't HAVE to put on my makeup and fox my hair. I don't have to make my family breakfast. I don't have to take the kids to school. I don't have to run frantically through the house looking for clean underwear for everyone! Virtually all the things I HAVE to do are in the evenings. So I am having to decide hw to arrange my life and the actually follow through.
Hmmmm. More to think about but my husband is in bed so I'll call it a night.
Cheers!
Lisa
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Day 56 - So, I Went to the Gym...and INJjURED MYSELF!!!
Dear Reader,
I am in so much pain! I went to the Y today and got in the aerobic pool with a couple of the floatie weight things you use and threw my neck, back and shoulder out almost immediately. I had a doctor's appointment later in the afternoon, but I went straight to the chiropractor right afterwards. My pelvic joint has also been out of place since the Ball, so he put everything back in place. The pelvic joint is a lot better but my neck and shoulder is killing me. It's one very small step from going into spasms. I'm in the jacuzzi with hot water and a ton of mineral salts. I also took 40 mg of prednisone, but it doesn't seem to be helping yet. He is not in the office on Fridays, so I sure hope it goes into place during the night. A few months ago my back went into spasms and it was unbelievable!!! I don't ever want that to happen again.
So ... back to square one. I suppose I could go back next week and just not use the hand weights. Or I could just go back to using the elliptical. I think the swimsuit is going to have to go back anyway. I put it on again this morning and realized that the elastic in the right leg is too loose, and that's not going to work AT ALL!
I don't think I have to go anywhere tomorrow which will be great. I plan to just do the lower body floor work at home and then just try to get everything caught up because, next week, it's back to getting day to move no matter what! My bedroom is almost clean again, finally. I haven't decided what to do about the ball dress yet. The best thing is probably to return it by mail and write a letter about it separately to the corporate office. I also have to write sandals about our "you-can't-see-the-beach-at-all room" for which we paid beach view price. And I have approximately one million other things on my to-do list for the weekend.
I was pretty disgusted with myself this morning. I'm embarrassed to admit what I did. I stayed in the bed for three hours after I woke up! I'm pretty sure that qualifies as "sloth" in the seven deadly sins sort of way! I didn't just lay there at least. I made phone calls and had my prayer time and took care of various matters ... but didn't budge from the bed. Good grief! I want to have a better character, apparently. I just don't want to do the WORK of gaining a better character! I spent some time in the pool trying fruitlessly to figure out what is going on. Why am I being my own worst enemy? Why am I consciously sabotaging myself? Why is the resistance I feel coming from me ... the one who wants to change?? Aaargh!
It was a good visit with my doctor. They are trying to get me in with the genetics department, but they wanted to do $15,000 worth of tests! He's gotten them down to $4300 which, after insurance, should be ok. Hopefully I'll have the insurance soon. But he says that between the angioedema, the allergies, the dysautonomia, the likely Ehlers-Danlos, the porphyria tests in the past (long story - no time - probably not important) I'm a pretty interesting case. He said you can have duplicates of some genes and some genes missing arms or just not there period. And I've never even told him that I seem to have the same kidney problem that my mother has! (Another long story). He also said I need to have the shingles vaccination and double-checked to be sure it wasn't grown in eggs which would mean I couldn't have it, like I can't have the flu vaccine. But it's not, so my husband and I both should get it. YOU probably should, too! Hmmmmm ... what else? Oh, yes. He thinks me consulting with a nutritionist is a great idea, but he said there's no one around here trained enough to deal with me ... but there is someone excellent out-of-state that I could talk to by phone and then she could help come up with meals for me. I called the insurance company to see if they would cover it. They put me on hold to check and u finally had up to get off. They called back but had closed for the day when I called them. If anyone qualifies I would think I would! He said the beta blockers do cause fatigue and can cause weight gain! Oh, he also said that genetic abnormalities can affect how you metabolize food and cause extra weight and certain body shapes. He probably meant ROUND like me! He's going to do a 24 hour cortisol test that tests all the adrenal levels four times during the day.
My back is wading up a bit. I don't feel like I'm about to go into spasms now. It's been aggravating because I put too much soap in the tub which produced WAY too many bubbles! I keep having to drain off the water and refill the tub to try to get rid of the bubbles. I'm drawing my fourth tubful right now. And, yes, I do know that that is wasting water!
Now, about the young man. My mother paid for him to stay at the hotel for four more days. I have put in a referral for him to move to the family shelter in a nearby town. They help with day care so a parent can go work. He had someone who was supposed to watch the boys today, whole he looked for work. But they didn't show up, so he had to take the boys with him. I'm sure that made a great impression with potential bosses! I got him a couple of job leads in landscaping here in town. He's very worried about the boys size and weight because they are small for their ages. He's taken them to health services and they have provided him with some sort of milk formula that should help them out on some weight, but they look okay to me. The mother is out-of-state and he has full custody. His mother is in North Carolina and helping him as much as she can, but she doesn't make much money herself. Life can be so rough, even without adding bad choices on top of everything. He says that his wife did something wrong. But she was late-term in her pregnancy and he didn't want his child born in jail, so he took the blame. He says he realizes now that that was a HUGE mistake, but it seemed like the right thing at the time. Now, I'm not naive. I know this may or may not be true. But that's between him and God and his family. All I need to know is that he is homeless with two small children and is trying to change his life. He is planning on going to fireman training, but the first class he can get into begins August 2nd. The boys need a few clothes. He's gone to the clothes closets in town, but they are either too small or WAY too big. There's a resale shop in town that has infinitely better prices that Goodwill or Salvation Army. I can probably pick them up several things for less than $10. If you pray, please pray for him. I'm not into the "sending positive energy your way" stuff, but I am into asking a compassionate Heavenly Father to come to the rescue of one His children and give him the second chance (or third or fourth or ...) that he may or may not deserve. I don't know about you, but I have never "deserved" any of God's grace or mercy! You may notice that I have not offered to watch the kids for him while he looks for work? Yeah. Just not a "kids" person, AT ALL!" I would be willing to help pay for a babysitter, but I am not ever going to do it myself! (Gee. I hope those don't become "famous last words"!)
I'm going to get on out of the tub now and hope for the best during the night. So much to get done tomorrow and now I've stayed up late. But really ... why is being more self-disciplined being so hard? Why am I resisting so much? Why aren't I embracing it? Do I really just WANT to be lazy? Is it health issues? Am I just worn out and don't want anyone, even me, giving me anymore to do? Maybe all three of those with a good bit of rebelliousness and deficient character thrown in! I'll have to ask my husband! He'll say that it's not bad character at all and I'm the least lazy person he knows! You gotta just LOVE a man that you know will tell you what you need to hear, whether it's QUITE the truth or not!
I envision all of you as being slim and fit and healthy and very disciplined with your lives. Sure hope I'm a WRONG about some of that!
Cheers!
Lisa
I am in so much pain! I went to the Y today and got in the aerobic pool with a couple of the floatie weight things you use and threw my neck, back and shoulder out almost immediately. I had a doctor's appointment later in the afternoon, but I went straight to the chiropractor right afterwards. My pelvic joint has also been out of place since the Ball, so he put everything back in place. The pelvic joint is a lot better but my neck and shoulder is killing me. It's one very small step from going into spasms. I'm in the jacuzzi with hot water and a ton of mineral salts. I also took 40 mg of prednisone, but it doesn't seem to be helping yet. He is not in the office on Fridays, so I sure hope it goes into place during the night. A few months ago my back went into spasms and it was unbelievable!!! I don't ever want that to happen again.
So ... back to square one. I suppose I could go back next week and just not use the hand weights. Or I could just go back to using the elliptical. I think the swimsuit is going to have to go back anyway. I put it on again this morning and realized that the elastic in the right leg is too loose, and that's not going to work AT ALL!
I don't think I have to go anywhere tomorrow which will be great. I plan to just do the lower body floor work at home and then just try to get everything caught up because, next week, it's back to getting day to move no matter what! My bedroom is almost clean again, finally. I haven't decided what to do about the ball dress yet. The best thing is probably to return it by mail and write a letter about it separately to the corporate office. I also have to write sandals about our "you-can't-see-the-beach-at-all room" for which we paid beach view price. And I have approximately one million other things on my to-do list for the weekend.
I was pretty disgusted with myself this morning. I'm embarrassed to admit what I did. I stayed in the bed for three hours after I woke up! I'm pretty sure that qualifies as "sloth" in the seven deadly sins sort of way! I didn't just lay there at least. I made phone calls and had my prayer time and took care of various matters ... but didn't budge from the bed. Good grief! I want to have a better character, apparently. I just don't want to do the WORK of gaining a better character! I spent some time in the pool trying fruitlessly to figure out what is going on. Why am I being my own worst enemy? Why am I consciously sabotaging myself? Why is the resistance I feel coming from me ... the one who wants to change?? Aaargh!
It was a good visit with my doctor. They are trying to get me in with the genetics department, but they wanted to do $15,000 worth of tests! He's gotten them down to $4300 which, after insurance, should be ok. Hopefully I'll have the insurance soon. But he says that between the angioedema, the allergies, the dysautonomia, the likely Ehlers-Danlos, the porphyria tests in the past (long story - no time - probably not important) I'm a pretty interesting case. He said you can have duplicates of some genes and some genes missing arms or just not there period. And I've never even told him that I seem to have the same kidney problem that my mother has! (Another long story). He also said I need to have the shingles vaccination and double-checked to be sure it wasn't grown in eggs which would mean I couldn't have it, like I can't have the flu vaccine. But it's not, so my husband and I both should get it. YOU probably should, too! Hmmmmm ... what else? Oh, yes. He thinks me consulting with a nutritionist is a great idea, but he said there's no one around here trained enough to deal with me ... but there is someone excellent out-of-state that I could talk to by phone and then she could help come up with meals for me. I called the insurance company to see if they would cover it. They put me on hold to check and u finally had up to get off. They called back but had closed for the day when I called them. If anyone qualifies I would think I would! He said the beta blockers do cause fatigue and can cause weight gain! Oh, he also said that genetic abnormalities can affect how you metabolize food and cause extra weight and certain body shapes. He probably meant ROUND like me! He's going to do a 24 hour cortisol test that tests all the adrenal levels four times during the day.
My back is wading up a bit. I don't feel like I'm about to go into spasms now. It's been aggravating because I put too much soap in the tub which produced WAY too many bubbles! I keep having to drain off the water and refill the tub to try to get rid of the bubbles. I'm drawing my fourth tubful right now. And, yes, I do know that that is wasting water!
Now, about the young man. My mother paid for him to stay at the hotel for four more days. I have put in a referral for him to move to the family shelter in a nearby town. They help with day care so a parent can go work. He had someone who was supposed to watch the boys today, whole he looked for work. But they didn't show up, so he had to take the boys with him. I'm sure that made a great impression with potential bosses! I got him a couple of job leads in landscaping here in town. He's very worried about the boys size and weight because they are small for their ages. He's taken them to health services and they have provided him with some sort of milk formula that should help them out on some weight, but they look okay to me. The mother is out-of-state and he has full custody. His mother is in North Carolina and helping him as much as she can, but she doesn't make much money herself. Life can be so rough, even without adding bad choices on top of everything. He says that his wife did something wrong. But she was late-term in her pregnancy and he didn't want his child born in jail, so he took the blame. He says he realizes now that that was a HUGE mistake, but it seemed like the right thing at the time. Now, I'm not naive. I know this may or may not be true. But that's between him and God and his family. All I need to know is that he is homeless with two small children and is trying to change his life. He is planning on going to fireman training, but the first class he can get into begins August 2nd. The boys need a few clothes. He's gone to the clothes closets in town, but they are either too small or WAY too big. There's a resale shop in town that has infinitely better prices that Goodwill or Salvation Army. I can probably pick them up several things for less than $10. If you pray, please pray for him. I'm not into the "sending positive energy your way" stuff, but I am into asking a compassionate Heavenly Father to come to the rescue of one His children and give him the second chance (or third or fourth or ...) that he may or may not deserve. I don't know about you, but I have never "deserved" any of God's grace or mercy! You may notice that I have not offered to watch the kids for him while he looks for work? Yeah. Just not a "kids" person, AT ALL!" I would be willing to help pay for a babysitter, but I am not ever going to do it myself! (Gee. I hope those don't become "famous last words"!)
I'm going to get on out of the tub now and hope for the best during the night. So much to get done tomorrow and now I've stayed up late. But really ... why is being more self-disciplined being so hard? Why am I resisting so much? Why aren't I embracing it? Do I really just WANT to be lazy? Is it health issues? Am I just worn out and don't want anyone, even me, giving me anymore to do? Maybe all three of those with a good bit of rebelliousness and deficient character thrown in! I'll have to ask my husband! He'll say that it's not bad character at all and I'm the least lazy person he knows! You gotta just LOVE a man that you know will tell you what you need to hear, whether it's QUITE the truth or not!
I envision all of you as being slim and fit and healthy and very disciplined with your lives. Sure hope I'm a WRONG about some of that!
Cheers!
Lisa
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Day 57 - Exhausted at 10:20 pm ... PROGRESS!
Dear Reader,
Darn! I just woke my husband up looking at youtube titles and then one I looked at this morning started playing all of a sudden! Poor guy. Anyway, I am SOOO tired and ready to go to sleep! And look how early it is! This is amazing! I even have my alarm set for 6:30 ... which is just ridiculous! I'm changing it to 7:30.
I tried on the exercise swimsuit this evening. It's really hard to get into because it's high-necked which means a small opening in which to fit everything. Once it's. On it's okay other than the fact that I look like a toad in it and the racer back shows my back fat! Just charming! I'm telling myself that it was cheap and to just go with it. It's not helped by being swollen badly again, almost as badly as before we went on vacation. I'm eating less than I did on vacation, but more swollen. What's that about??
I saw my counselor today and we are going to go through a box of heartbreaks we received at a church in a different state. All the emails, the letters, everything is in the box that I kept because I knew I'd have to deal with it at some point. I've had great difficulty getting close to or trusting women since the events in that box happened. We are also going to do EMDR on all of the break-up memories before I leave for New York. So the next few weeks should be pretty intense.
I finished reading All Quiet On the Western Front today. If you haven't read it, let me wholeheartedly recommend it to you. The author was drafted into the German army. He was in the war for a while, but was then wounded and was in a hospital for along time. He didn't publish the book until 1928. By 1931 the Nazis were in power and they burned all copies of his book. He got out and got to Switzerland, so they beheaded his sister. This is considered to be one of the mt important novels of all time, and I understand why now. I'm planning on starting The Guns of August tomorrow, also about WW1, but non-fiction. It is also supposed to be one of the must-reads of your lifetime. I was reading it at a Cuban restaurant today and these two older wome were sitting next to me and asked me about it. They wrote down the name of it and said they were going to read it. One of,the Cuban waiters was sitting visiting with them and he told me he has on,y read two books in his life! Okay, that's strange enough, but get this. He says the two books are The Art of War and The Prince!
I was gone all day today and didn't exercise again. I hope to, tomorrow. I know that doesn't sound very committed and that is because ... I'm not!
I chewed every nail down to nubbins today. I was on a long drive and was practically asleep at the wheel despite getting a coffee latte with soy milk and two shots of espresso! To stay awake I first tore off all the shellac polish from the manicure I got in Jamaica. Then I started in on the nails and now ... they are all gone!
I don't have any information on how to help this young man yet. I got a text from a pastor in town asking for my email because he had a lot of information to send me. I'll read it tomorrow and make arrangements for him to stay in the hotel tomorrow night if we can't find him a better option. I also learned of a place that takes in families in the large city nearby, and about a factory that is bring in a town about 45 minutes away. Since he doesn't have any ties here, he could move there if everything fell into place just right. I spoke briefly to him by phone today and said, "So I'm guessing that you have a pretty complicated story, huh?" He just groaned and said yes.
So that's it for now. I will take my swollen body with it's chewed off fingernails to bed now and hope for some of,the swelling to,be down tomorrow. I actually am moderately committed to going to the YMCA tomorrow.
So much work to do physically and emotionally in 56 days! Not to mention getting ready to move!!
Cheers!
Lisa
Darn! I just woke my husband up looking at youtube titles and then one I looked at this morning started playing all of a sudden! Poor guy. Anyway, I am SOOO tired and ready to go to sleep! And look how early it is! This is amazing! I even have my alarm set for 6:30 ... which is just ridiculous! I'm changing it to 7:30.
I tried on the exercise swimsuit this evening. It's really hard to get into because it's high-necked which means a small opening in which to fit everything. Once it's. On it's okay other than the fact that I look like a toad in it and the racer back shows my back fat! Just charming! I'm telling myself that it was cheap and to just go with it. It's not helped by being swollen badly again, almost as badly as before we went on vacation. I'm eating less than I did on vacation, but more swollen. What's that about??
I saw my counselor today and we are going to go through a box of heartbreaks we received at a church in a different state. All the emails, the letters, everything is in the box that I kept because I knew I'd have to deal with it at some point. I've had great difficulty getting close to or trusting women since the events in that box happened. We are also going to do EMDR on all of the break-up memories before I leave for New York. So the next few weeks should be pretty intense.
I finished reading All Quiet On the Western Front today. If you haven't read it, let me wholeheartedly recommend it to you. The author was drafted into the German army. He was in the war for a while, but was then wounded and was in a hospital for along time. He didn't publish the book until 1928. By 1931 the Nazis were in power and they burned all copies of his book. He got out and got to Switzerland, so they beheaded his sister. This is considered to be one of the mt important novels of all time, and I understand why now. I'm planning on starting The Guns of August tomorrow, also about WW1, but non-fiction. It is also supposed to be one of the must-reads of your lifetime. I was reading it at a Cuban restaurant today and these two older wome were sitting next to me and asked me about it. They wrote down the name of it and said they were going to read it. One of,the Cuban waiters was sitting visiting with them and he told me he has on,y read two books in his life! Okay, that's strange enough, but get this. He says the two books are The Art of War and The Prince!
I was gone all day today and didn't exercise again. I hope to, tomorrow. I know that doesn't sound very committed and that is because ... I'm not!
I chewed every nail down to nubbins today. I was on a long drive and was practically asleep at the wheel despite getting a coffee latte with soy milk and two shots of espresso! To stay awake I first tore off all the shellac polish from the manicure I got in Jamaica. Then I started in on the nails and now ... they are all gone!
I don't have any information on how to help this young man yet. I got a text from a pastor in town asking for my email because he had a lot of information to send me. I'll read it tomorrow and make arrangements for him to stay in the hotel tomorrow night if we can't find him a better option. I also learned of a place that takes in families in the large city nearby, and about a factory that is bring in a town about 45 minutes away. Since he doesn't have any ties here, he could move there if everything fell into place just right. I spoke briefly to him by phone today and said, "So I'm guessing that you have a pretty complicated story, huh?" He just groaned and said yes.
So that's it for now. I will take my swollen body with it's chewed off fingernails to bed now and hope for some of,the swelling to,be down tomorrow. I actually am moderately committed to going to the YMCA tomorrow.
So much work to do physically and emotionally in 56 days! Not to mention getting ready to move!!
Cheers!
Lisa
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Day 58 - Had a Bit of an Adventure Today!
Dear Reader,
Today did not go as planned. But, then, I think it would be safe to say that none of my days go as planned! I didn't sleep as late as I have been, and I took care of a lot of phone calls before I even got out of bed. I got dressed then, and put on my makeup and did my hair, something that I'm really trying to start doing regularly. I am not sure why, but I can hardly keep myself focused on getting my makeup,on! And I have this down, pat. Five minutes! That's all it is. But I want to stop and do something else almost constantly. Trying to make myself stay on task for even this small thing is really hard.
Then I got a text from our son asking if I wanted to meet for lunch. I was happy to be able to meet him and have lunch together and a great conversation. Then, we were standing by the car talking when a young man, 30's maybe, came up with two little boys in a double stroller and asked if he could ask us for some help in getting a place for him and his boys to stay. This is the story, and I don't have any way at this point to know how much is true. But he says he came here from Arizona because he'd been offered a job. But he got here and the job didn't pan out. He can't stay at the Salvation Army because he got in an altercation (the other guy's fault) and now he's banned from going to Salvation Army places everywhere. He was staying at a cheap hotel nearby. He said there was one a little cheaper near it, but it had a lot of drug activity and he didn't want his boys there. They looked to be about 8 months and 2 years old.
I am a big believer in taking Jesus seriously when He says to give to those who ask, and I am in a financial position where I am able to help. So I suggested we all get in my SUV and drive to the hotel and I could pay for two nights and then see what could be figured out. He looked like he was right on the edge of desperation. My son handled the matter really well. He told him that he was going to have to ask him to take off his jacket, which he did immediately, to check him for,weapons. I would never have even thought of this! Then he checked his backpack and told him to leave it in the back of the car where he would not have immediate access to it. He handled it so professionally, you'd have thought he was a police officer or something! The man's backpack was full of diapers and juice cups! Kind of broke my heart.
We got to the hotel and there was a man there at the clerk's desk who seemed to be high on something, but was being nice. The clerk was a very well put-together young woman who greeted them cheerfully by name. He has not been able to look for work because he doesn't have a babysitter for the boys. He found out about one woman, but a friend did a background check and he didn't like what it showed, so he didn't use her. I asked him how he was on food and he told me he had some crackers and some juice left. So.my son and I went to a store and got several days' worth of groceries for,them and took them back to the hotel. I told him that I would watch the boys while he and my son took the groceries to his room. I took several pictures of,the boys ... just in case. I also kept the plastic wrapping from some crackers that the 2year old had in case fingerprints were needed. The boys were very comfortable with him and, if anything is amiss ... well, I just hope that nothing is amiss!
I tell you that I have had my eyes opened a lot since moving here. I've had housekeepers from the wrong side of the tracks and some physical plant workers who are pretty rough characters. And I've learned that there is a side to life in which there are no good choices, just choices that are not as bad as other choices. I've got a call in to a pastor I know in town to see what can be done to help them. I'm sure I'll learn more of the story later, like ... where's the mother! But the immediate need was to relieve him of worrying about whether they'd have a roof over their head tonight or food to eat. I told my mother about them and she wants to help keep them in the hotel for a few nights. She can really come through in a pinch. What is very sad, though, is knowing what a fine line he's walking in terms of keeping his kids. It wouldn't take much for someone to report him and a government agent deciding he wasn't able to take care of the children and removing them from his custody.
All of that took some time, and then I had to go back to the store to lick up a few more groceries for us. You want to hear something funny? You know I wanted to fry plantains last night, but they didn't have any at the store? Well, they did have some at this store, so I bought a couple for me. But I forgot to keep them separate and so the poor guy has got a couple of hard, huge, green bananas there! He's probably wondering what kind of cruel joke that was! :-) I bought some more and brought them home but, by then I was too tired to fix them!
I have to drive in to see my counselor tomorrow. We have a limited time left and so I'm going to suggest that we focus on doing EMDR on two things. One, of course, are memories involving my mom. One or two nightmares a week is NOT good! The other us when my husband, then my boyfriend, quit loving new and broke up with me after several ominous months during which I could feel him pulling further and further away, I have bad dreams often, one this morning, that are just theme and variation on what happened. I was really traumatized by it and I think I need to walk through the memories again doing the EMDR.
Well, that's it for now. Tomorrow is so impossible that it doesn't even seem to make sense to make a to-do list! But being moderately OCD I know there will be no sleep tonight until there is a to-do list! Didn't exercise today again ... but I did find the swimsuit which had gotten in after all.
Take care and have a great day tomorrow. Or, if that's too much pressure, then have a moderately okay day tomorrow!
Cheers!
Lisa
Today did not go as planned. But, then, I think it would be safe to say that none of my days go as planned! I didn't sleep as late as I have been, and I took care of a lot of phone calls before I even got out of bed. I got dressed then, and put on my makeup and did my hair, something that I'm really trying to start doing regularly. I am not sure why, but I can hardly keep myself focused on getting my makeup,on! And I have this down, pat. Five minutes! That's all it is. But I want to stop and do something else almost constantly. Trying to make myself stay on task for even this small thing is really hard.
Then I got a text from our son asking if I wanted to meet for lunch. I was happy to be able to meet him and have lunch together and a great conversation. Then, we were standing by the car talking when a young man, 30's maybe, came up with two little boys in a double stroller and asked if he could ask us for some help in getting a place for him and his boys to stay. This is the story, and I don't have any way at this point to know how much is true. But he says he came here from Arizona because he'd been offered a job. But he got here and the job didn't pan out. He can't stay at the Salvation Army because he got in an altercation (the other guy's fault) and now he's banned from going to Salvation Army places everywhere. He was staying at a cheap hotel nearby. He said there was one a little cheaper near it, but it had a lot of drug activity and he didn't want his boys there. They looked to be about 8 months and 2 years old.
I am a big believer in taking Jesus seriously when He says to give to those who ask, and I am in a financial position where I am able to help. So I suggested we all get in my SUV and drive to the hotel and I could pay for two nights and then see what could be figured out. He looked like he was right on the edge of desperation. My son handled the matter really well. He told him that he was going to have to ask him to take off his jacket, which he did immediately, to check him for,weapons. I would never have even thought of this! Then he checked his backpack and told him to leave it in the back of the car where he would not have immediate access to it. He handled it so professionally, you'd have thought he was a police officer or something! The man's backpack was full of diapers and juice cups! Kind of broke my heart.
We got to the hotel and there was a man there at the clerk's desk who seemed to be high on something, but was being nice. The clerk was a very well put-together young woman who greeted them cheerfully by name. He has not been able to look for work because he doesn't have a babysitter for the boys. He found out about one woman, but a friend did a background check and he didn't like what it showed, so he didn't use her. I asked him how he was on food and he told me he had some crackers and some juice left. So.my son and I went to a store and got several days' worth of groceries for,them and took them back to the hotel. I told him that I would watch the boys while he and my son took the groceries to his room. I took several pictures of,the boys ... just in case. I also kept the plastic wrapping from some crackers that the 2year old had in case fingerprints were needed. The boys were very comfortable with him and, if anything is amiss ... well, I just hope that nothing is amiss!
I tell you that I have had my eyes opened a lot since moving here. I've had housekeepers from the wrong side of the tracks and some physical plant workers who are pretty rough characters. And I've learned that there is a side to life in which there are no good choices, just choices that are not as bad as other choices. I've got a call in to a pastor I know in town to see what can be done to help them. I'm sure I'll learn more of the story later, like ... where's the mother! But the immediate need was to relieve him of worrying about whether they'd have a roof over their head tonight or food to eat. I told my mother about them and she wants to help keep them in the hotel for a few nights. She can really come through in a pinch. What is very sad, though, is knowing what a fine line he's walking in terms of keeping his kids. It wouldn't take much for someone to report him and a government agent deciding he wasn't able to take care of the children and removing them from his custody.
All of that took some time, and then I had to go back to the store to lick up a few more groceries for us. You want to hear something funny? You know I wanted to fry plantains last night, but they didn't have any at the store? Well, they did have some at this store, so I bought a couple for me. But I forgot to keep them separate and so the poor guy has got a couple of hard, huge, green bananas there! He's probably wondering what kind of cruel joke that was! :-) I bought some more and brought them home but, by then I was too tired to fix them!
I have to drive in to see my counselor tomorrow. We have a limited time left and so I'm going to suggest that we focus on doing EMDR on two things. One, of course, are memories involving my mom. One or two nightmares a week is NOT good! The other us when my husband, then my boyfriend, quit loving new and broke up with me after several ominous months during which I could feel him pulling further and further away, I have bad dreams often, one this morning, that are just theme and variation on what happened. I was really traumatized by it and I think I need to walk through the memories again doing the EMDR.
Well, that's it for now. Tomorrow is so impossible that it doesn't even seem to make sense to make a to-do list! But being moderately OCD I know there will be no sleep tonight until there is a to-do list! Didn't exercise today again ... but I did find the swimsuit which had gotten in after all.
Take care and have a great day tomorrow. Or, if that's too much pressure, then have a moderately okay day tomorrow!
Cheers!
Lisa
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