Dear Reader,
So ... as the title of this post may indicate, quite subtly of course, this was not a good day. Which, while I'm thinking about it, let me mention that I believe our prolific use of profanity has seriously abridged our vocabulary. For instance, in "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," I was so hoping that he would say something profound when he decided to confront his evil boss. I hoped that he would say something that required, you know, a vocabulary! (And, while I'm thinking about it, how could lovable Ben Reed from "Parks and Rec" possibly have embraced the role of the antagonist?? Oh, yeah. The cheesy black beard and mustache must have helped! But, I digress.) I wanted Walter Mitty to say some profound and deep and life-changing to his boss. Or, at least something that didn't employ a four-letter word! Well, I got part of what I wanted, at least. He said, as I recall, "You didn't have to be such a dic." Now, if my spelling is correct, "dic" is a THREE-letter word, not a four-letter one. And, what was the other movie I saw fairly recently that had a similar situation? Hmmm ... I can't remember, but the tension has built and finally the protagonist turns to the bad guy and says, quite brilliantly, "Go fuck yourself." Bravo! How clever! How original! But, honestly, I think we've reached a point where our ability to insult someone aggressively has been reduced to the use of just a handful of words. For instance, what might our hero have said other than, "Go fuck yourself!" "You're an idiot" just doesn't carry quite the same "ooomph" factor. And neither, I fear, does my attempt to communicate my frustration over the day by the use of the word (?) "AAARRGGGHH," ... though you do have to give me points for trying.
So. The day started off with the bad dreams. Then I went back to sleep to try to shake them. Almost immediately my daughter and I had a fight-via-text. I kept telling her not to text back because she kept ramping the conflict up and increasing the stakes, but no, she was on a roll and apparently thought she was financially independent of us. I didn't go that route though. I just said that she was making her choices and disrespecting me, so I was going to make my own choices accordingly. And that, therefore, I would not help her in any way with her move this weekend and she would have to make her own contacts and arrangements and ... and good luck with all that and to NOT text me back. She knows me well enough to know that I do not back down from things like that, but it took her till this evening to apologize. I was extremely angry with her boyfriend. But, apparently he read the handwriting on the wall and decided to come through after all. And, enough about that! It has nothing to do with the goals I am working on or the purpose of this blog. Except for one thing. I did try hard to calm down because I knew that getting angry was releasing all sorts of,hormones and chemicals into my blood stream, none of which were good for me, including cortisol which would only make this waistline even bigger. So ... I tried to not get caught up in the emotions and realize that neither of us was going to stay mad, so there wasn't any use in getting worked up any more than I was.
Moving on. I came go to cardio rehab. (Oh, wait! Before I go on I have to tell you about a little thing that happened. A phone call came onto the house phone. We don't ever answer this phone because it is always some commercial thing. But this one only said, "Wireless Caller" under the phone number, so I answered it. Now, this was while I was really angry at my daughter so, I didn't exactly answer it sweetly. And then, SURE ENOUGH, it was some random moving company that wanted to see if we would use their moving company!!! Oh, and before that, the woman made the mistake of asking if she could talk to my HUSBAND! Helloo!!? How chauvinist is that?! So I said, ummm, well, let's just say that I said "no" and be done with it. She then said she was such-and-such a moving company, blah blah blah and would they give me an estimate? Now, you have to understand that I HATE the telephone and wish it had never been invented. I will text you as much as you want, but I hate talking on the phone as much as a fifteen-year-old does. And I hate businesses calling me at home. And I HATE when someone only wants to talk to my husband and bypass me. And I may have mentioned that I was mad at my daughter a little bit. So, I pretty hatefully told her NO, and to NOT call the house AGAIN and hung up. Well, you know the Holy Spirit. I should have known I wasn't going to get away with that and, sure enough, almost immediately I started getting these convictions. Things like, so, what exactly did she do that was so bad that she deserved to have you talk to her like that. She made a business call trying to drum up business for her company. Is that really so bad? Was she rude? (No). Were you rude? (I plead the Fifth! ... yes). So I called her up and apologized. She was dumb-struck, of course. I told her I was already mad about something else and I hated businesses calling the house, but she had in no way deserved for me to treat her so rudely and I was truly sorry and would she please accept my apology? She was very, very nice; and very, very shocked. And, yes, I am quite proud of the humility I showed in that situation, and the complete humility I have in telling you about it. :-)
Then I went to the breast center at the hospital. They did the spot compression and had it read by the radiologist who still wasn't real happy with it. (Oh, this was after I had a crying session in the hospital restroom over the fight with my daughter.). So then I had to have an ultrasound done. All they would tell me is that he said that I just needed another mammogram done next year and he would write up a complete report and send it to my doctor. I gather it had something to do with the milk ducts, but I'll find out more later. I was there for more than two hours so they gave me a $5 coupon which I spent on a cute little thing for my daughter's apartment which says, "Home is where the cat is."
Then I dropped in to pick up,a watch (a Silpada watch ... not cheap) that they messed up on and I had to leave it with them and then forgot about it. And ... they can't find it! They're going to look some more. I sure hope they do find it because it's one of my favorite things ... even if I did forget about it!
Then I rushed to the chiropractor for him to put my ankle back place, along with everything else that was out by this point. It did. to go back in easily, but neither did he have to hammer it back into place.
My husband and I went out to eat and had blackberry margaritas which were pretty good! I called my mother when I got home and she was my MOTHER! She was nice and normal and talked like a regular mother! It was wonderful and I so enjoyed talking with her. This doesn't happen very often and I actually talked to her for thirty minutes! Usually I'm dying on the phone and searching for any reason to get off quickly, so this was a delightful surprise. I just have to remember to not expect her to be like this tomorrow. She could be right back to being angry and hostile and hating the whole world, and I just need to be ready for it and not surprised or upset when it does. Just enjoy it when I can actually see her.
I'm off to bed and it's not even 11:00 yet. It would be lovely if I were actually able to sleep. Hope you are doing well and enjoying the beautiful Spring! My first daffodils were blooming this morning at the side of,the house! Always so exciting!
Cheers!
Lisa
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