Dear Reader, I'm starting to reach new levels of exhaustion. Today, it was a real struggle to not just turn off the alarm and stay in bed. But ... I am NOT staying up late tonight, that's for sure! So I am going to still set my alarm for 7:30, which I've been doing all week. That's a two-hour move from the 9:30 time I had been setting it for. That sounds so lazy, but when you don't go to sleep till 1:00 or 1:30 am, it's still just around 8 hours of sleep. I've been trying to go to sleep earlier, but it's like I'm "set" now to go to sleep at 1:00 am, so when I'm in bed earlier, I just think of it as free time! I mean, I just roamed the news sites on the net! Read all about this huge SECRET island where NYC has buried a million corpses! Some secret. It was featured in some big murder/detective book, can't remember which one now ...
maybe an Alex Cross? But a big-selling number one kind of novel that had everyone running around on this island trying to catch the killer. They've been burying people there since before the Civil War. Most of them are people who couldn't be identified. And this article was making this big fuss about how they aren't even buried with gravestones! PEOPLE!! This is NEWS?
Anyway, that's the sort of,thing o do that has been keeping me up till 1:00 am most nights. But not tonight. I am dead tired! Plus, I came across about three animal cruelty articles in a row, and then there's this Pennsylvania kid. I wonder if he was on drugs or was psychotic. Did you know that murders committed during a psychotic episode usually happen with the first psychotic episode. So, if you know someone who you think may have become psychotic ... it is serious!! Don't ask me how I know!
Other than just being so dead tired, this was a pretty productive day. I had such a hard time waking up, but was about to keep from going back back to sleep, which is just amazing. Then I decided to tackle the corners of my study because they have been intimidating me terribly. I got them both cleaned up and got the top of the credenza cleaned off, and it is starting to look really nice in there! Now I'm regretting that I let it turn into such a mess for all this time. Tomorrow, it shall be finished!
I also got a really good workout in at home on the mat. I exercised for an hour and could have kept going it was feeling so good. I am able to do a move now that I couldn't do at all when I started. I'm sure it has a name, but I can't think of what it is. You sit on the floor with your legs extended in front of you. Then you lean back and put your hands flat on the floor in back of you and lift your body so you're a straight line with your weight on you feet and your hands. I couldn't do it at all in January, but today I did it over and over as part of a warm-up flow. At the end I did a long shoulder stand. I didn't try to go into plow because my neck had been really loose all day and I was afraid I'd do something weird to it and mess it up if I did. I want to do a head stand so bad! I used to could do a crow, but I came now. And, when I say "I used to could do ... " I'm not using bad grammar. I'm using SOUtHERN grammar!
I wanted to make a main-course salad tonight and I found what looked like a good on Health magazine's online site, but it turned out awful. It involved those nice chickens usages with the apples in them. I am mildly allergic to chicken, more of a sensitivity. They had a turkey version, but it had cheese in it, so I went with the chicken one. I am swollen so big and am having a lot of,other unpleasant symptoms, so I think we can move chicken from the food sensitivity column to the food allergy column now.
So, I'm about to make my to-do list now for tomorrow and go to sleep. My mother just drove me crazy on the phone tonight. We were talking about the Malaysian jet that is missing and she argued with me over everything I said I had heard. It was just maddening, and made me mad!
I'm supposed to go to a dinner with this famous person tomorrow night, but I'm thinking seriously of skipping. The next night will be taken up completely with this person, and I don't know,that I have the energy to give up two nights in a row, and I'm not a fan in particular. Oh, okay. It's an author. I read her big book and, frankly, I was not impressed. I thought the plot was ridiculous, the tone maudlin, and I didn't like a single one of the characters! I'm glad this person is coming and meeting with our students and all of that, but I don't think my life will be lessened by not having dinner with her.
You want to know what's going to be hard this spring? Not gardening, that's what! Most of my garden beds are planted with perennials, so they will be fine, but I usually do a ton of potted plants which I probably won't do this year. And when I say a ton, I mean around 120-130 pots. What can I say? I love flowers so much! They can make me hurt they are so beautiful. I have one picture I took that I may blow up into a large print. It is of my circular wicker table with a glass top and a pretty blue pot on it. The pot is planted with a pink geranium and asparagus fern and other greenery. I took the picture from the back and caught the sun light shining through the petunia petals. It's really beauiptifyl to me at least.
The bone density test came in and it was normal, the other test showed that my kidney function was off. I've got to get a copy of that to my main doctor. I decided to not try to get to the bottom of,whether I produce this stress-induced anti-diuretic hormone that my mother does. There's just not enough time.
I'm going to sleep much better these days. I have a new secret weapon. I take two SedaLin capsules (they have magnolia bark in them) and two hydroxizene pills. Then, when I am getting drowsy, I take a ,5 mg of Xanax. And then, I out on these great headphones called "SleepPhones, pajamas for your ears". I sprang for Pandora One ago that I don't get any commercials anymore. Then I out in Fleet ear plugs because the tar soft and comfy, out on the head phones, and set Pandora onto New Age Piano Solos. Oh, my! It is so beautiful! It gives my mind something to focus on that is non-verbal and beautiful and soothing and keeps it from jumping from topic to topic. With thes head phones, you don't get great sound because the speakers a rep flat discs sewn up into a soft headband. So they don't fit tight into your ear to give you a great sound. But, the benefit is that you can lay on your side in comfort. The PandoraOne only costs around $3.00 a month.
My biggest goal in New York is to not be so exhausted all the time. Someone told me last night that the state we are living in is in the top four most highly polluted states in the nation, beating out even California. I'd like to see leaving this behind translate into improving health! Here's the website for the sleepphones: http://www.sleepphones.com. Fleet earplugs can be found on Amazon or Rite Aid. Walgreens doesn't seem to carry it. Information about Pandora one can be found at http://help.pandora.com/customer/portal/articles/84834-information-about-pandora-one. And, of course, you have to have a prescription for Xanax.
Hmmm ... I just lost a paragraph or two, so I guess I'll call it a night.
I hope you have a great day tomorrow, wherever you live and whatever your circumstances. I know we all have heart ache and fear and anxiety and disappointment. And so I wish you great courage and great joy as you face your own tomorrow.
Cheers!
Lisa
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