Day 67 - Too Tired!

Dear friend,

Well, I was too tired to get anything much done today.  I woke up at 8:00 with an alarm and some resolve, and ,a aged to stay awake, but only just.  I didn't handle my day well at all and made none of the grand leaps I imagined last night.  I got the kitchen cleaned and that was about it.  

I saw my psychologist today, but it was probably a waste of time because, in addition to being so tired, I was very closed down.  I didn't realize it at first, but after a bit I realized that I very much had my guard up.  I hated having that feeling of being so guarded that it was like I was nothing but sunk into myself very, very deep so that nothing could reach me.  I'm sure it will wear off in a couple of days, as soon as my psyche realizes it is safe again.  

I used to be a strong woman.  I could make decisions and carry out long-term plans and was very disciplined.  Now, I don't know if I have become a weak-willed woman, or if it's just a matter of all my strength being drained from me by other things.  We'll see.  

The cleaners are coming tomorrow, so I have to finish getting the house picked up.  There was a flurry of purchases which are all over my bedroom and bathroom now.  Tomorrow I have to get everything packaged up and taken to the post office or ups.  I also have to get the laundry done and some ironing accomplished!  I don't think I'll be able to make any progress on the house, but hopefully I can at least pull it back together without wasting too much time doing so.  And exercise!  I have to start exercising my hip muscles NOW!

If you pray, please pray for me, that I will be enabled to regain control of my life and self-discipline.  Thank you, so much.  

Cheers!
Lisa