Dear Friend,
okay, it's time to get moving forward and quit sitting in neutral! I'm going to try to just gut my way through tomorrow and act like I have myself together. I'm going to put together very tight schedule and STICK TO IT!! I'm not going to read anymore of the current zombie novels I've been reading, and it's a real shame because he has seven books in the series. But something about them is hurting my soul. Nine of the others have , but this series is not good for me somehow. I'm reading them compulsively, like ... literally. If traffic is heavy, I've been reading in the car! I read from the time I got up until I HAD to get ready to go into the city for a doctor's appointment. It's far worse violence than the others and there's an evil female vampire who is running the zombies and is really, really creepy. Lots of cussing, but not more than you'd expect when the protagonist is a former Marine and is trying to save his family from zombies, I suppose! But cussing doesn't bother me usually, being quiet proficient at it myself. So, whatever it is, it is messing up something inside of me, so I'm done.
I also realized something that made me unhappy. I'm reading compulsively a lot because I've been avoiding God again. Of course, we just had a crazy week, and I don't think these books have helped. But I'm reading compulsively because I am anxious and apprehensive. About what? Well ... let me see. I'm still not unpacked. I'm still not exercising. I'm still not dieting, I still don't have my Bible studies out together or my study organized. The basement is a nightmare. I still don't have any drapes up. I'm still cleaning up behind an incontinent dog every day -- although I finally got up the nerve to make her start sleeping in the laundry room so she can only do so much damage. I still haven't got drapes up, I still haven't got pictures up, I still haven't finished painting the bathroom sconces, I still don't have any idea what I'm going to out in the den or in the library upstairs. I still hate doing all the cooking and the laundry and it wears me out. I'm not going to jazzercise OR yoga. I still don't have the dressing room figured out yeti md I can't get a handle on ironing clothes now that I'm having to do that myself. And I still have two VERY nasty jobs to do Saturday! I have been letting my little blind dog go to the bathroom in the garage during the winter and just trying to keep the poop picked up. But the garage smells bad, as you'd expect, and I will be cleaning it with a pressure washer this weekend and then cleaning all of the outside cushions and pillows that got left out door all winter long and had already gotten filthy dirty from the rotting, dead wisteria dropping on them and whatever the dark stuff is that a large tree puts out all over another area. The concrete and driveway are even stained from it! So that is going to be some yucky day, Saturday!
And I still haven't picked up the room my mother used or the room my husband's parents stayed in.
So ... what do I have to be anxious or apprehensive about?? Not to mention that I'm not speaking to either of my brothers! Oh, speaking of which, ... nah. Let's not.
So. Tomorrow. Big girl panties, for sure! No more moping! I did feel better today, so maybe it's possible.
I did go to the city to have some neurological tests done today, and they were no fun, in the least!!! One was putting electrodes on me in all sorts of different areas and giving me a shock . And, let me tell you ... they hurt!and then the other test was they stuck a large bore needle type thing in me all over the place and then had me move my muscles in various ways to measure the electrical signals going between my nerves and the muscles. Those needles were big and white painful, and then I had to move the muscle that they were poked in. So, NOT FUN!
The other part of the test was testing all sorts of reflexes. He finally got a reflex out of my right knee, but had to bang harder and harder on my left knee before it responded. And no ankle reflexes.
Oh! And I haven't taken care of having been sent the wrong chandeliers for the hallways upstairs, either!
While I've been writing this I've been making notes of things I need to do tomorrow in addition to the things I HAVE to do tomorrow.
At least I'm looking -- oh! I have to order my transcript, too! And send the forms for letters of recommendation for the seminary -- forward to church for the first time in an EXTREMELY long time! We're talking YEARS, here!
The Sheltie I think I told you about who had been tortured and then out in a plastic trash bag on the side of a country road that I wanted to adopt is doing really well! I called and talked to the vet who's treating him and she said the large wound is almost 80% closed now and he is already adored by everyone and has a home lined up. Thank God!
You know, I was thinking today that these people for blame God for everything bad really, in fairness, should be crediting Him for EVERYTHING GOOD that happens, shouldn't they? But they don't. They just blame Him, wrongly, for the bad stuff. Hmmmm.
Cheers!
Lisa
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