Dear Reader,
Well, I'm not exactly hopeful or encouraged, but I am a little more stoic today. I am reminding myself that the calcium levels may indicate parathyroid tumors, and that surgery could be the thing that starts unraveling all the tangles in my health. Monday I need to call my doctor's office and set up an appointment to discuss what the next step is. Also, I did drop my C-Reactive Protein level from 13 to 4.68, which is huge. (A score of 3 represents a high chance of heart attack or stroke.) I am still staying away from all my food sensitivities which is hard when there are so many, but this is really reducing my inflammation.
So, even though I'm still exhausted and can't seem to get over it, I am making some headway. I came to a decision yesterday to get off the beta blockers I take. I'm supposed to take three a day, but often only take two because I forget the middle-of-the-day dose. I take this for the Dysautonomia. The idea was to limit how fast my heart races every time it gets surprised by a change of position of my body. Supposedly, limiting the amount that it could race would lessen my fatigue. But I can't say that it has helped at all. I have far fewer episodes of almost passing out, but my fatigue hasn't lessened. In fact, I learned that beta blockers themselves cause fatigue! So what's the point in taking them? I also read that most people with Dysautonomia are deficient in magnesium, and that getting your magnesium levels up to normal can help a lot. I'm also going to ask my doctor to test my magnesium levels. I'm taking the supplements now, but the magnesium lotion really hurts my skin. So I am going to limit applications to just putting the lotion on my feet each night. I'm trying to take the mineral drops you put in water, but that's not going so well because it doesn't taste good. I need to start soaking in Epsom salts three nights a week. Apparently, if I do all of this, I can get my magnesium levels up to normal within 4-6 months, versus a year with just the tablets. I can't see the cardiologist until April 1, so I'm going to go ahead with this plan on my own. In a couple of weeks I will eliminate the last dose of the beta blocker and see how I do. I think I can handle almost passing out from time to time better than I can handle the constant fatigue.
My doctor did not retest the calcium levels like I understood he was doing. He tested my vitamin D levels (normal) and my parathyroid hormone levels, also normal. Excessively high vitamin D levels can cause high calcium levels, so this eliminates that as a cause. But I don't know what the normal parathyroid hormone levels mean. There is an ap for this! You put in all your info and it tells you exactly what's wrong. But it costs $5.99, and I don't want to pay that! I probably will go ahead and get it because it also gives you names of doctors in your area with a lot of experience in removing these tumors.
I am having far fewer Angioedema reactions the last few months from taking hydroxizene at night. So, that is another good thing that is happening.
So I AM making a tiny bit of progress on many fronts. I must need to keep reminding myself of this so I don't get too discouraged.
I am actually exercising some, and I have to remember that this is huge. My legs had gotten so weak that I couldn't stand up from a chair without helping myself get up by using my arms! That is getting better. I'm going to make me an exercise playlist tomorrow. I'm still liking "Mama Mia," but I don't want to ruin the musical by listening to it too much!
So far, in my effort to tell myself that I am worth taking care of, I have had two manicures, a pedicure, and a massage. So this week it's time for a facial! I've had one facial in my life which was at an extremely expensive spa in Santa Fe, New Mexico. And she ran electricity all over my face and it hurt like crazy! So I'm just going to be looking for a regular facial, whatever that is! I have a friend who gets facials regularly, and her skin looks amazing. I'd try her person, but she charges $55 for an hour facial, and I just can't see that. Whoops! I just checked a few spas on-line and saw that $55 is actually a pretty good price. Hmmmm .... I'll have to think about this some more.
I had an idea the other day. Maybe, in the same manner that I am trying to do something special for myself each week to nurture and care for myself, I thought about a way I could start informing myself about another thing. Since I grew up hungry, maybe I should start deliberately leaving a bite or two on my plate to remind myself that I can now take care of myself, I am amply provided for, there will be more food later, and I am no longer starving. I thought of this recently while having fish tacos with a friend. I caught myself eating the very last little flake of fish on my plate!
I learned about tapping last week. I don't know ... sounds kind of hokey. You tap along the meridians of your hands, head, face, and chest while affirming yourself. Like, "Even though I am overweight and can't seem to change this, I still unconditionally love and accept myself." I'm going to learn more about it before I write it off, but it did make me realize that I don't love and accept myself.
And one reason for that lack of love and acceptance is the fat around my middle! It's DISGUSTING! It is so gross, and I hate it so much. I should take my waist measurement and see how bad it compares to the pre-holiday measurement. I started to weigh again the last two days, but it's been so cold that my battery-operated scale won't work! I'd forgotten that it does that. If I brought it into the middle of the floor, moving it away from the window it sits in front of, it would warm up and work. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow, but I wouldn't put money on that!
I will make fresh juice tomorrow no matter what! I shall make the parsnip, spinach, and watercress juice. Um mum! Doesn't that sound ... healthy! :-(
I've been thinking about the morning affirmations I have found online. They seem so shallow. Almost along the line of, "I will have a good hair day, today!" So, I've been wondering what would be worthwhile affirmations that might actually be productive. More about that later.
If the three underpinnings of good health are rest, exercise, and nutrition, I think I shall really focus on rest. I've not done any meditating for a couple of weeks now. I think the idea of two 20-minute sessions a day is just too much for me to handle or believe I have time fork or that time spent like that will be profitable. I wonder if two 10-minute sessions would be successful?
Tomorrow is, as ever, a fresh start. And I am supposed to be beginning "Round 2" of rebooting my life! So, there's no more time for bemoaning my state of health and fitness and weight and all of the complexities. There is only time for continuing to try to make progress, even when it is very slow.
I hope you are making progress towards your own goals. Just the fact that we have them says something good about us, that we are not willing to stagnate!
So ... cheers, once again!
Lisa
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