Dear Reader,
Well, trying to get off the beta blockers is not happening. My heart was racing some again last night, and I had a pretty bad episode that I don't know what it is, but I call it "bottoming out." I was putting on my makeup and feeling fine and just all of a sudden felt so weak and exhausted I almost had to lay down right then. It lasted a long time and I did, in fact, have to lay down for a while before I felt better. I think that must be my blood pressure dropping. So, my desire to get off the beta blockers stemmed from my constant fatigue, and since beta blockers cause fatigue I thought getting off of them would help. But, with this possible parathyroid tumors in the picture, I decided to get back on the beta blockers until I found out more about them. Since they cause extreme fatigue, they may be the problem and having them removed may take care of a lot. I'm really excited about moving from the very, very hot location where I live and moving to New England! That is supposed to help with the dysautonomia a LOT. I don't have a car, so I have to park my car in the blistering heat which makes running errands excruciating. I love being outdoors and gardening, so I'm outside no matter what. And we can't get our bedroom cold and our bathroom is even worse! I often come in from the garden 25 minutes before an event dirty and completely covered with sweat. A charming mental picture, I know! I can shower, wash and dry my long hair, roll it, put on makeup, change clothes, put on heels, jewelry and fragrance and be on time for the event in our home! I am FAST!!! But, our bathroom is so crazy HOT that I'm usually sweating again as soon as I get out of the tub! They put in an A/C system in the house that is not strong enough to carry the air-conditioned air up from the basement to the second floor of the house. And some idiot only put one vent in our bathroom and we get almost no air out of it! And they put NO vent in the closet in the bathroom which causes it to be ICY COLD in the winter! I love the university and I love my home here, and I think I have been able to change an institutional building and yard into a HOME and a place that reflects my personality and who I am. But that doesn't cause me to not notice the distinct problems in living here. This last summer, the heat just finally reached a point where I was really suffering from it. I understand the area where we are moving is very humid, but I used to live on the Gulf Coast of Texas, so how bad can humidity in NEW YORK actually be???
Once my blood sugar recovered, I felt quite good the rest of the day. I did not try to exercise, but I will tomorrow. We stayed home from church, but I slept so late that it didn't really free up more time for me to work on the house. But, I did get a good amount done on the top of my white desk. You can actually see about a third of the surface now! The stacks of papers are about six inches tall, so there's so much work left to do. My goal (whoo-hoo! I actually have a GOAL!) is to finish the entire study in two weeks. I don't know if that is possible, but I'm going to try my best. I'm trying to figure out where I'm going to put my white desk in my new home. The desk I actually use now is a large corner desk made out of glass. Very cool and hip looking, the complete opposite of me! I got my April Cornell magazine this weekend, a company out of England, and I adore so many of the fabrics in it. THIS is who I am: English chintz with flowers and roses all over. I simply adore roses. I'm not too good at growing them, but event still, they manage to be beautiful. If you want to see what I'm looking at, go to http://www.aprilcornell.com and find the zinnia tablecloth. Our breakfast room is all the way at the far end of the house, so I'm hoping I can make it just as sweet and pretty as possible.
I'm still having problems coming up with a color scheme for the house. I want cream to soft yellow in the forma rooms with white trim and rose and green secondary colors. But I don't know that I ant to carry that into the kitchen and breakfast room and little family room. I'll figure it out, though.
So, I am in the process of making my own workout play list to use tomorrow and this week. I've got my workout clothes sitting out and a good to-do list made up. I've got my pommodoro jobs written out, I've made a schedule for how I'm going to finish my white study in two weeks, and I've charted out all the events I have this week. It's going to be a very busy week! PLUS, I turn 35 this week! I wish. I'll turn 57 this week. So, I think I've got a good start on the week, and hopefully nothing will get past me. I did have to ask for help to get my herb and perennial gardens tidied up by the physical plant before the big reception. It's, frankly, too cold for me to go out there and too much work!
We had a great visit, though short, with our son yesterday and he is doing well. Our daughter seems to be in a pretty good mood, a little less fussy than she usually is. I saw my mother today and even she is in a good mood! My husband, though, is rather glum. A friend of his died today of pancreatic cancer. He got to see him Friday, for which I'm glad. One of our professors died of prostate cancer this week, and one of our instructors died also. So he's had one funeral, one memorial, and visited with a dying friend in the last four days. That's rough.
I see it's after 1:00 again, and I need to sneak into bed. They hydroxizene which I take to lesson my reactions helps me get groggy, and I've taken my xanax, too; so I think I'll be able to go to sleep pretty easily. I'm going to set my alarm for 8 hours instead of 9, since it's taking an hour for me to wake up. I'm trying a slightly different schedule this morning to help me get my workout in earlier. I think using the music I like will help a lot.
So, that's my news for the day. I must find an endocrinologist and a rheumatologist this week and make appointments. I was having tendon pain this evening and I realized that it would help a lot if I knew that I had the Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. I don't think they can help it, but just knowing what is going on and that I don't have something strange and unknown and scary will be quite helpful. If I can be in pain and just say, "Oh, it's that Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome acting up" would be so nice!
Good night. Have a wonderful Monday and a lovely start to your week. Seriously, though, you should go to the April Cornell site. It's bright and happy and cheerful, without being too sappy, too country, too shabby, or too trite.
Cheers!
Lisa
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