Dear Reader,
Today was a much better day, except that I slept wrong and have a yen bhbhuhjhnhnbjh non. N tght (that was the contribution to this post by my cat! She just tried to jump up on the bed and it was a tremendous fail! Wish I'd gotten a video of it!)
Anyway, I have an awful crick in my neck that hasn't let up all day. Really painful, and I can't find my aspercream or any of the other balms I have. Except oh wait! I think I saw some BioFreeze earlier today. Be right back. Yes, thank goodness!
So, I washed my new queen sheets this morning and put them in the dryer, and then I washed my mattress cover. When the dryer signal went off ... I had wet sheets! The dryer has broken. So, we had nothing at all to sleep on that night. We had already talked about going into a nearby large city so that clinched that deal. Found a Bed, Bath, & Beyond and bought another set of white sheets and a nice mattress cover. Thankfully there was no sizing in the sheets, so they are very silky soft.
We found a Mexican restaurant that had Aztec in the name. There was a large wall mural, done by someone without much talent and kind of childlike. But, as I was looking at it while I ate my fish tacos, I realized that part of it was a profile view of a person on their hands and knees. And ... it looked like they were being cut in half at the waist by something. I asked the waiter about it and he said, "Oh, that. Yes. That is the Aztecs committing human sacrifice. They have cut off the person's head. And then you could see it. Yep. That's a head! WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!?? Definitely won't be going there again!
Went to a super nice mall, and getting there we drove through some of the most beautiful residential areas I have ever seen. Quaint, beautiful houses, one after another. Lovely!
Oh, it was kind of funny. At the restaurant I had to decide between eating something with chicken, which I am a little allergic to; or fish, which I hesitate to eat because of my high mercury levels!
I looked forever last night trying to find a diaper for a long dog, like my Jack Russell. Nothing, isn't that strange? So I ordered some medium sized diapers which should be here Monday. I found, though, my washable dog diaper. It is just almost too small for her, but ... she was not able to get out of that sucker! Of course she peed in it, caught her in the act, but it absorbed all of it. It comes with some absorbency in it, but you can add the equivalent of a small sanitary pad to it to hold more. She flooded it, so I hand washed it and hung it to dry. But ... there's hope! The harness thing I ordered hasn't gotten here and I don't remember where I ordered it from!
I now have probably ten boxes to go to Salvation Army. My husband is catching the anti-hoarding spirit and is laying out a lot of stuff to give away also. Each box I pack up makes me happy!
We looked at baby grands for the house and, I just don't think there's room for one, not even the small one we found. I unwrapped a big mirror that was wrapped up in a huge sheet of padded wrapping material that I think is close to being 5'x5' and ... it's huge!
We also looked a formal dining room sets. The one I found that I like the best is at Ballard's. Let's see if I can paste a picture.
http://www.ballarddesigns.com/farnese-dining-table/furniture/category/dining-kitchen/dining-tables/278162
No. Apparently, no I can't.
So much work to be done. Find a doctor. Check. Find a chiropractor. Check. Find a doctor for husband because he won't want to see the integrative medicine doctor I have chosen ... nope. Find a church ... nope. Find a hair dresser ... nope. Find a dry cleaners. Check. Find a pharmacy. Sort of checked, but want to change. Find a manicurist. Ha! My nails are terrible!
Our daughter will be here in a week! Can't WAIT to see her!! Maybe knowing she's coming will help me to get really serious about unpacking. Still have a lot to do to,get her room ready. In fact, I think I'm going to have to order her sheets, too. I can't find hers either. She called this evening with some good news about some freelance work she go, which was very exciting. And then our son called and told us the temporary job he had been working had ended. He thought that it was going to turn into a permanent one, so he's pretty disappointed. But there's a full-time job possibility with the temp agency itself. He'll be 29 this summer. He lost about eight years to alcohol, and it may be a good while before he gets everything pulled together. Were just so happy that he's sober and living pretty well on his own and involved with other people. He even went to a baby shower last weekend!
So, now for,the serious part. I had a good prayer time this morning and God showed me a lot of things. I've been acting in a childlike manner to the chaos of this move. I've been overwhelmed by the enormity of the job, like a child would be. I am bemoaning everything and not taking charge of it and attacking these boxes. Don't get me wrong, I've unpacked A LOT! But not like I could have done. Like with the dog diarrhea problem yesterday. I left the house for about two hours. That's not the take-charge, make-it-happen kind of person that I like to think I am. I realized that this is bringing up a lot,of,the feelings I had as a child. Everything is without order, everything is chaotic. Nothing is neat, nothing is clean. We're not even sleeping on sheets. The dogs are having every sort of digestive problem they could possibly have. Toilets are dirty because I didn't have toilet bowl cleaner or a toilet brush and ... because I didn't want to! I've had a housekeeper for seven years and cleaning toilets is gross! No matter how much I work, I seem to accomplish virtually nothing. It's even ugly. I can't find my vacuum so in having to sweep the floors which is hard on my back. The new mop I got is very frustrating. The yard is full of poop and smells bad. The wisteria on the pergola is dropping all sorts of leaves and crap on all my wicker. Even the bedroom is ugly. They apparently decided to,fill in some nail holes, but they just dabbed white paint all over the place and it looks awful. The kitchen is ugly. Well laid out, but ugly,,cheap, contemporary cabinets that are painted GREY!
In other words, I feel like a child again. My childhood home was dirty and ugly and overwhelming to me as a child. We had relatives who would,show,up at the house without warning, I think maybe my father sent out an SOS asking them to come. I would see their car and run to the bathroom to clean it because I was so ashamed of how dirty it was. Once I picked up a fingernail brush that was so gross ... it even had some sort of worm-type creature in it! I threw it away without even askin g my mother, which was a great act of courage. All the paint was old and dirty and ugly to begin with. And, my parents let the dogs use the garage to sleep in ... and didn't seem to notice all the dog poop in it or how it smelled. They never ever cleaned it up. I finally cleaned it when I was in college. They had lined old glass milk gallon jars along the walls to turn in someday ... which never happened. They all had huge, dead cock roaches in them that had climbed in and not been able to get out. I also cleaned these up when I was 20 and about to get married. How could they have lived like that? How could they let their children live in that sort of setting. One time they decided to paint the hall ... have I told you about this? I was so happy because they were going to pint it and it would be new and right and pretty. Instead,d they came home with a puke-color paint and painted the walls, the trim, and the ceiling all the same color. I felt like a part of my soul died.
So, here I am in a dirty house, with order, complete chaos, an overwhelming amount of work to do, which makes me feel like I am being ineffectual. Dog poop everywhere, and things are ugly and paints is just slapped around.. The paint colors are, to me, depressing and dull. In other words, I feel like that child faced with unconquerable chaos, dirt. disorder, and ugliness. So it's like it had re-activated my helpless inner child. I may need to go back and spend time with her talking about this with her and making my parents. Lean the house and take care of us like they should hVe.that would probably be helpful.
My husband said today, wouldn't it be neat if we went to the YMCA every day at 5:30 together? I told him I would do it with him. Temporary insanity? I think so. Well, adios. I'm about to fall asleep. Have a blessed Lord's day!
Cheers!
Lisa
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