Dear Reader,
I'm in so much pain. Pretty much all of the fascia thought my body is hurting me really bad, but the worst is what's going on in both upper arms. They just hurt and burn and both biceps are exceptionally painful. At this point I've had two Xanax and two Tylenol, I've tried using headphones and listening to the piano music that usually puts me to sleep, reading, etc. nothing has helped. I usually zap this kind of pain with a huge dose of prednisone, but my prolotherapist said not to do that anymore because it basically turns off my immune system for a month. So I'm trying to just grin and bear it ... but that's not helping a whole lot.
I've had a very anxious day today. I was already upset at having to go over all my medical history yesterday. But then the morning began with me getting very upset/ angry at something my mother commented on one of my Facebook posts. It really, REALLY, got to me and I got all kinds of worked u about it. My husband was in the run today and didn't have time to talk. UHC except to tell me to not let her get to me. After a while of still letting her get to me (!) I called my son. I tell you, he can be really great. He gave me some really good advice. After talking to her I gave her a call. She brought it up in a laughing way, saying she tight my post was so funny and asked if I had seen what she posted. I said yes and after a bit, I told her that I thought she had been serious. She said, oh no ... she just couldn't remember where the emoticon button was. I reminded her of the simple way to do an emoticon and that you always have to do that, otherwise your words will just be taken at face value. I didn't tell her that I removed her comment! So ... all that emotional energy got used up for want of an emoticon!
I'm in awful pain just doing this much typing, so ths will have to do for now. Made the horrifying discovery that the Japanese captured 9 of our air men who crashed in their B-29 bomber in Japanese territory. One survivor had the good sense to shoot himself dead. The captain was captured and sent off for questioning/torturing. He ultimately survived the war. The other 8 were taken to a medical university where they were vivisected. One mans liver was possibly grilled and eaten, but this could not be substantiated so these charges were dropped. At least three of the vivisectionist a were in staff at the university. The school is still open today with a nice modern website and everything. They did a report saying that they were completely innocent. The lab space was requisitioned and no university personnel were involved ... which is just a lie. The people who were charged, tried, and convicted were the same people who got, literally, their get-out-of-jail-free card in 1958 when MacArthur granted everyone amnesty. And we quit teaching it and the Japanese quit teaching about all the terrible things they did during WW2. Most of the younger ones truly don't know what their parents and grandparents did. I'm used to knowing about the nazi atrocities, but the Japanese were actually far, far worse and more barbaric.
I'm super frustrated right now with my life. I know a lot is because I've been in so much pain and it's costing me a lot of sleep. But, the last two days unnerved me emotionally and it's going to take a while to get centered again. And ... I'm still 40 pounds overweight and completely unfit and getting weaker by the day, I would imagine. Trig tonremind myself that I saw the regular doctor this week, the functional medicine doctor this week, and spoke with the trauma psychologist today and have an appointment set up for next week. So things are starting to get into place. I even have my housekeeper coming u to help me with the basement AND our POOL should be heated Tuesday! Things are coming along. I just have to be patient! Yeah, right!
Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep now, to almost 4:00.
Have a great saturdayM. I'm pretty sure mine is going to suck!
Lisa
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