Dear Friend,
I failed to mention that I had a pretty severe and sudden panic attack yesterday. When they installed the chandelier, both men and my daughter thought it was waaaay too big for the room. I knew it would be fine once the furniture was in, but that triggered a pretty strong panic attack. I just won't take Xanax for those yet any way. I know it's a cortiso rush. I know my body will metabolize the cortisol after a while. So, what I did was jump on a computer and start shopping for wall sconces for my bathroom. I'm going to buy new sconces, so this wasn't wasting time, but it was pretty intense for quite a while. Good news is I did find three very nice options, each less than $50. Yay.
Today my back, well, actually, behind my left shoulder, was still hurting badly so I called my chiropractor, but couldn't get an answer. One time before there phone was off for some reason, but they were there. So I hopped in my car and drove up to that village. But, sure enough, they were closed. Darn! I needed to pick up some jewelry I had had repaired at a jewelry store there, so I went over to pick it up. It's just right across the street. Well ... It was hysterical! The only people there were the two owners who look ancient, but are actually only in their late 80's. She was bent over and her hands were arthritic and she moved unbelievably slowly! She couldn't find my jewelry for a while and I, of course, had no idea where my receipt was. I asked her how she was doing and, she sounded just like a New Yorker in a Seinfeld episode. "Oh ... I'm doing fine, but don't ask me about my kids! Sheesh!! Do you know that my sister-in-law's kids took her keys away from her! And now she can't walk anywhere or even go get a gallon of milk!! and MY kids! Oh, I've decided that they aren't worth the trouble! Do you want my two??" And on like that in this smoker's hoarse voice. It was all I could do to keep from laughing. That is, until she found my jewelry and said the price would be $198!!! I was really sure that there had to have been a mistake and so she said she would try to reach her son. So I said I was going across the street to a diner to get some coffee and I'd come back by when I was through. Well, I got my coffee and ordered what turned out to be one of the best fresh fruit salads ever made ... and four slices of bacon ... when I got a call from the son who is hysterical. I already knew he was hysterical from when I took the jewelry in. He said he would fix my jewelry for me, "and not just because you're beautiful and you're blonde!" He's probably late 60's. So he calls and was going on about how he had had a root canal and then someone had double- parked and he'd been stuck in his car for two hours and his mother didn't know where he was and etc. etc. He said he was at he store now, so I went back over and it turned out the high price was from all the work it took to repair and reform a badly broken silver filigree bracelet. You can't see that there was ever anything wrong with it now. So I paid up. I was in a lot of pain and he could tell so I told him about all my torn-up shoulder business. Well, after just a few minutes a man came in with a HUGE dog that apparently belongs to the jeweler. As best I could tell, this man had given the dog a bath. So, the jeweler says, oh! You need to talk to this lady here! And starts telling him about me because the mans wife is a functional medicine doctor! Well, this old man gets all excited and says come on in. Well out a cold laser on you and you can see if it helps. I demurred, but he just kept insisting and was so enthusiastic, so I went ahead. We walked about halfway up the block to his wife's office. She was, like, "You what???" And he was saying, "yeah ... Just put the cold laser on her! It'll help her!" So she took me into a rnd out some gadget on me and said, "um, you know this isn't the usual way I do business." I laughed and told her he had been so enthusiastic that I couldn't say no. She was very nice, and it learned a very important lesson and that is ...
THERE COMES A POINT WHEN YOU CANT KEEP TRYING TO LOOK TWENTY!!!
Whoa! She is well past 60 with long hair bleached bright blonde wearing makeup and clothes that were completely incongruous with her age and profession. Plus ... she hadn't really brushed the back of her hair and looked slightly crazed! Yea, I don't think I'll be going back.
S, then I went to a different chiropractor who iced my back and put me on e-stem for quite a while. I had to leave then to go see my psychologist. She's very concerned about me going to see my mom. My having had two panic attacks this week probably didn't make her feel any better about it. I said that I wasn't looking forward to it, but I wasn't going to write her out of my life. She said that, no, she didn't want me to write her out of my life. She just wanted to think of how she can help prepare me to stay at her house for a few days
I asked her for some help with this miosphonia, hatred of sound, problem that I have. Have I mentioned that? It's a condition where sounds that are background noise for most people throw you into a rage. Someone posted about it on Facebook and I looked it up and was so amazed that it's an actual diagnosis. The trigger varies, but the defining characteristic is that the sound sends you into a completely uncontrollable, irrational rage completely disproportionate to the level or type of sound. That's how I am with popcorn eaters at theaters. It was an article in Psychology Today and there were many comments at the end of the article from people who were just finding out that it's not just them! It turns out that they think that the sound is going through the wrong part of your brain or something like that. But I think a great study would be to see how many people with this also have PTSD. Because, for me anyway, these sounds are HUGELY LOUD and I can't turn my focus off of them and I can't stop this flaming anger. So I'm wondering if the PTSD unlocks some basic survival mechanism where silence is vital to survival. So when someone is supposed to be quiet but keep making a noise, you want to silence them to be safe. She thinks it's tied into PTSD, too, or is a trigger for an episode of PTSD. She was impressed that I made the connection between this misophonia and PTSD. I said, "Well ... I have been in therapy for a number of years now!"
I made tacos and a fresh fruit salad for dinner tonight. Ground chicken and veggie cheese. It is so nice to have food in the house! Getting started on this food delivery service is one of the best things I've ever done!
My left shoulder is still really painful. I went back to the chiropractor who heated my back up and gave me an adjustment. He says it's super inflamed. I have a feeling that I tore something in there. But, hey. One MRI at a time, right! Speaking of which ,,, I called the doctors office and they thought they had everything squared away with the radiology department at the hospital. So I called the radiology department and -- NO!! They were WRONG! So ... some more phone calls are going to be made and supposedly I should be able to call and MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TOMORROW!
I'm not placing any bets, though.
It may snow tonight, which reminds me that were going to have to get snow tires for my car and our daughter's. Great.
We watched the first episode of Gilmore Girls tonight. All three of us had forgotten how good it is!
Well, that's it for me. I think I get to stay home all day tomorrow!
Cheers!
Lisa
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