Dear Reader,
Well, I am in bed and ready to evaluate my day, and it was ... MEH!
For starters, I got in a bad mood immediately when my alarm went off (at 10:00 am - don't judge! at least I set an alarm!) because men from the physical plant came to the house right then to remove Christmas decorations from the yard and the house. They are unbelievably difficult and argue about everything. I stayed upstairs and let the housekeeper deal with them. After they left, I went downstairs and she was so annoyed by them! So, I didn't start my day off in a great way. But then I got a cup of chai and had a prayer time and read my Bible. That would have been fine but I also wasted a lot of time by doing an internet search of intern positions in New York for my daughter and emailing one - a PERFECT one - to her only to have her text me, "Mom, I'm not moving with you and dad to New York." Well, we'll see. It's been her dream to live in Manhattan for years now and get an internship there and go to grad school. And now she's going to blow it away for a loser boyfriend who is going to ruin her life. I know you, my imagined reader, are not interested in the details, so I'll only say that all of us are worried about this, even her big brother. But, I digress! Then I wasted time looking for a duplex we could rent for her brother and her to live in so they would be together, but each have their own place. Then I wasted time using AT&T family map to locate our son's phone to see if he had gotten a new job yet. Guess where his car was? Outside some super big CONVENT! What in the world?? I can't ask him about it because I don't want him to realize that we keep tabs on him in this way. We've had to use it three times in the past to save his life.
I did get a manicure today, yay! I haven't had one for months because I wouldn't take the time to take care of myself in this or any other way. My nails are tiny, little, bitten-off things, but at least they look nice now! I learned another reason that this manicurist and I get along so well. Not only do we both have weird bodies, but we both have crazy parents. Her father is severely bipolar and frequently suicidal. He lives in Florida and is married, but she's the one he calls when he gets to that point. So she has to call the police who then go arrest him and get him to a hospital. She's only 29, but is so much further along in differentiating herself from her father's mental illness than I am from my mother's. Of course, our situations differed drastically when we were growing up and my mother has Borderline Personality Disorder which makes Bipolar Disorder look about as serious as the common cold! But she still has what seems to be a pretty good grasp on the situation and is able to deal with her father without getting hurt and wounded in the process. I'm really proud of her.
I did not exercise, and that has me bummed. I was going to as soon as I got home from my manicure, but she and I talked a lot until her next client got there, and then, before I even got home, my husband texted me asking me to be ready to go out at 4:00, which was in 24 minutes. We don't usually leave until 5:30, so I lost my exercise time.
He told me this evening that he is really worried about me and scared that I'm going to have a heart attack and die before him. He's upset because I know that I'm at a high risk, but I don't do anything about it. (Guilty.). He doesn't like that I basically spend my mornings inactive, and
that I have to get up and about and get my metabolism moving. I said I understood, but I just really wanted to have my prayer time first thing. He said that is fine, but I need to limit it! Isn't that funny? That I need to limit the amount of time I spend in prayer?! So, the end of the conversation is that I would start getting up and leaving the house first thing, taking my Bible and prayer journal with me, and go to a Starbucks. I can get chai with soy milk there, and oatmeal, so that will work. That's the game plan now for next week. Then I can go through emails, do other work, and then come home, change, and exercise.
I didn't bring pursue it further, but it is very likely that I will die before him because the immune system problem is really life-threatening. Something like 34-53% of people with it die from airway obstruction. The reaction usually takes a particular course and you have your standard ways of stopping it: a big dose of antihistamine or steroids or an epi-pen. But there is an entirely different chemical chain that it can take which is not responsive to any of those things. So, someone like me gets lulled into complacency because they can always stop the reaction, and by the time they realize that it's not working it's too late and they die before they can get emergency help. Do I remain complacent despite knowing this? YEP. I mean, how else are you going to live your life? There are some people who are literally afraid to live more than a couple of blocks from a hospital and go to the ER each time they have a reaction. I'm not going to live like that. I mean, just this last week I had rice pilaf in a restaurant and it had pasta grains in it the same size as the rice. I had already eaten some before I noticed, and I had a reaction because I'm allergic to wheat. My throat started swelling shut. I hit it with a big dose of antihistamines and it stopped swelling, but it was the next day before it was completely gone. You can either take something like this super seriously or you can say, "what-EVER!" and do your best to ignore it and live your life as normally as possible. You role your dice each time.
So, I'm a bit muddled again and going in circles. Tomorrow is Saturday and I plan to spend it doing the inventory of all of our Christmas things and getting everything packed up. Then going to the basement and working through the huge mess the physical plant left down there when they pulled out the stuff for the outside that I store down there. The mess was made worse by the alumni department who just simply trashed it. Aaargh!
And THEN I get to go to dinner at the home of some very wealthy people who are potential donors. They sound like great folks and it should be a fun evening, but hubby forgot to mention my food allergies so I had to call and leave a voice mail saying, basically, "Oh, and by the way, I'm allergic to EVERYTHING!" The night before the event. I'm sure that just made her day!
So, once again, we are on the cusp of a new day. Today's mistakes are today's mistakes and we all get to try again tomorrow. I hope you are doing better with your resolutions than I am!
Cheers and ... FORWARD!!!
Lisa
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