Dear Reader,
I've had another low-energy day. Not really sure what causes this, but I'm trying to not fret or fight or fume over it or beat myself over it. It will pass and I will feel better and will be ready to take everything on again. I'm really trying to keep to the mindset of, "I have a complicated body and it is unreasonable to expect it to function like "normal people." Plus, like it or not I've still got inner wounds that keep me from functioning at full tilt all the time. Sometimes I can shrug them all off, but sometimes they creep up and drag me down into depression or inertia. Hopefully, though, I'll feel better tomorrow. I really need to. The house isn't getting any better and nothing is getting unpacked when I'm not functioning well. And I really need to wash clothes, etc. tomorrow.
I slept till almost 11:00 this morning, but I stayed up till 2:00 working on an email to the Ethan Allen woman with a million questions and changes I wanted to talk to her about. When I got up, I decided to get in the pool. My husband came out and sat down to read a book. Since we were in this part of the yard, I decided to let the dogs come out to see how they handled the pool. Our old, blind, Jack Russell walked up to the edge, paused, slipped, and fell in. I swam to her quickly and got her and took her to the side where I held her for a long time and dried her off until she stopped shaking so bad. I finally let her go and she walked to the same place, leaned over lie she was trying to see what this glistening thing was, her foot slipped, and she fell in again. She must have done this at least seven times! After that I took her upstairs and gave her a bath, removing mountains of hair from her! She sheds sooooo badly!
After this I took a bath and washed my hair. By then, I was really tired and went back to sleep for about two hours until my husband woke me up. I sat outside with him for a while. Even though the pergola and my furniture under it are still really dirty, it's not bothering me as badly since I know what's causing it now and know that it will be taken care of next week.
I was feeling pretty low today and went to amazon looking for books to help me become the person I am meant to be. Yes, I do know how unbelievably trite that sounds! But it just seems like I can't get on top of things in my life and I really do want to! I know I made a good step ths week picking and going to see a new counselor. And I picked a store and a designer and furniture for the house, so that's pretty big, too. I even picked out a white trim paint color, for crying out loud! I tried to see a doctor, but that got messed up because of insurance issues. I've found the functional medicine doctor I want to use in a town about 20 minutes from here. I decided against the doctor here who got the insurance information all wrong. Hopefully this other doctor takes insurance.
So I've made some progress, but just hit a wall the last couple of days. Inertia has seized me. My good friend is coming up next week and I'm so glad! It will be so great to have a friend up here and some fresh energy to use on unpacking!
I downloaded a couple of books today. One called Time Warrior, which is about how to stop procrastinating, etc. And one called "God's Power to Change: Healing the Wounded Spirit." This is from a series of four books on inner healing and spiritual transformation that get five-star reviews.
I'm having difficulty finding an ordinary doctor in the area. I don't know anyone really to ask when they recommend. And many of the people at the college live elsewhere.
Tomorrow will be another day. Were visiting a church that has it's service at 4:00 in the afternoon. Now, that's an idea I can get behind! Going to bed now. Early for me ... it's not even 1:00 am! Did I mention that my friend who is coming into town gets up at 5:00 each morning?? Just wakes up!
Good night!
Lisa
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