Dear Reader,
I am happy to say that I am feeling much better today. My husband came in and one me up at 11:00 this morning. He got in bed it's me and we snuggled and dozed together for a while.then he asked me what was going on with my medicines. I told him that I had been it of my anti-depressants for a few days, but was going to pick it up today. Then I realized -- that's why I've been feeling bad the last few days. It usually takes me being off of them longer than this for me to start feeling the effects. But I guess with so much underlying stress I started feeling the lac much more quickly. I was so relieved! This makes sense. It's not even my body being especially weird, it's just my body needing the Welbutrin which, as far as I'm concerned, is a gift from God! Later this evening I asked him how he figured out it was my medicine when I hadn't figured it out. He laughed and said he'd been doing this for a number of years! I said but, I hadn't been irritable. He said usually "unreasonable anger" (ha!) is how he knows, but sometimes, including this time, it's sleeping too much. We picked up my med and I took one right away, and took one this evening. Im hoping very much that I'll have my energy level back up by the time my friend get here, Wednesday.
I was able to do some work this afternoon and evening. I got started on the laundry and unpacked a big box of china and a big box of kitchen things. Found my big mixer, but what I'd really like to find is my toaster! I still don't know how to organize this kitchen. The upper counters were hung too high and I can't reach above the second shelf at all. So annoying. That really limits the amount of space I have. And in the island, underneath the stove, there is some large rack organization thing. I can't figure out what it's supposed to do or be. Maybe they mounted it wrong. I can't find it on amazon, and it's taking up a lot of space. I know where several kitchen boxes are, but I haven't unloaded them yet because I can't figure out where to put things.
We visited a church today, the one whose worship service is at 4:00 in the afternoon. I really liked it! You may have realized that my attitude towards church is ambivalent at best. But I really liked this service. It's a small congregation and they are meeting Ina very old Presbyterian church. The church itself is small, but just gorgeous. Beautiful stained glass windows, light and open feel to it. It has a high church format, which I am most comfortable with since that is my background. The music was refreshing, the musicians were very good, put a jazz spin on a lot of things they did which was odd, but not off-putting. The preacher gave a simple message about the Pharisees attitude towards "sinners" and their complaint that Jesus ate with sinners. It wasn't scintillating, but it was well-presented and brought some new insights to this. The congregation was very friendly and I felt completely comfortable and at-home. There was one hitch. And, since it try to always be honest and Up-front in this blog ... hit helps that it's anonymous! ... there was a child there who is remarkably ugly. Birth defect, obviously, but of a sort I've never seen before. I only got a couple of glimpses of him since I didn't want to stare. I would guess that he was between 4 and 8. He had course brown hair, but was curiously bald on the top of his head. Think George in "Seinfeld," He did not appear to have eyelashes or eyebrows and his eyes were two-different sizes and slightly misplaced on his face. Not markedly, just not quite right. His expression was completely blank. I am sorry to say that I saw him when we entered the church and wanted to sit as far away from him as we could. I was revolted by his appearance. During the service there was a loud wet, aspirated sound, I don't know how to describe it better. Maybe like his lungs were flooding and it had come up into his bronchial tubes or something. The parents turned on some sort of loud pump and, I gather, suctioned him out. Later in the service, I saw that they had moved to the side area. I heard that sound come from him again and looked over that way. What I saw surprised me. He was standing in the row in front of his parents. After making this sound, he turned towards them and gave a shrug as if to say, "Whew! That one caught me by surprise." Very curious. My revulsion lifted. He wasn't a blank after all. There was something so normal about the way he shrugged, so little-boyish. Wait, I just realized. He didn't look,like,George, his hair looked like Larry, of the Three Stooges.
I thought about St. Francis and his attitude towards lepers. He was terrified of them and revolted by them. But, one day, he was riding down a road and a leper stood in the road in front of him. Francis went against his revulsion and embraced the leper. Off I recall correctly, this was a pivotal moment for him and it wash shortly after this that he renounced everything and began the life of simplicity and preaching that we know him for. This is a beautiful avaunt of this moment that you might like to read http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Catholic/2003/10/Saint-Francis-Meets-A-Leper-On-The-Road.aspx?p=3
Maybe I will have the opportunity to let love overwhelm my own revulsion.
Cheers!
Lisa
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