Day 149 - Where Has the Week Gone??!

Dear Friend,

I don't remember much about this last week.  One of the problems with PTSD is that the ability to lose traumatic memories is non-selective and I find I drop memories easily if I don't take care to remember them.  This week has primarily been one of learning to work with this cortisol supplement.  I've gone from being able to go to sleep easily to hardly being able to go to sleep at all.  My doctor told me to not to anything interesting at all once I'm in bed, including blogging.  But I don't know how or if that's going to work out.  Not blogging means not remembering.   I feel absolutely exhausted, get in bed and then ... tight and bright!  Wide awake!  It's being very frustrating, but I do think I'm sleeping less overall.  I know I'm not sleeping twelve hours anymore, which is a good thing.  And I have more focus and energy when I get up, another good thing.  I think I'll try taking my Klonopin at bedtime instead of the morning and see how that works.  At the moment, though ... I am about to do yoga here at home.  My daughter found a 30 days of yoga youtube and is loving it.  So I'm going to try to do Day 1 now.  Nothing I'd rather do than put off doing something good for me.  So, I want to go do the laundry, mop the kitchen floor, take down milk glass and china t out in the china cabinets and even work more in my sons's room!  But ... I'm going to DO IT, right now. More later!

Well ... that was thirty minutes of awful!  I've lost a l-o-t of strength, and this messed up shoulder makes it much harder.  So, top of the list for tomorrow will be: 1.  Make an appointment with the prolotnerapist I found and, 2.  Find a physical therapist and make an appointment .  Oh ... and I also MUST go to the chiropractor, come hell or high water ... or two feet of snow!  I am so out of alignment and my neck is in a lot of pain and I just keep ignoring it.  For a month now!  Being kind to oneself means taking care of your needs.  I'm not too bad at taking care of my soul and spirit, but my body gets relegated to the bottom of the list day after day.  

S, I'll check in later.  This is going to be sort of a stream of consciousness entry today.