Dear Friend,
A friend asked me today to please start blogging again so ... here I am. Things have not been going well on a personal level. Stress has been running really high in the home and yesterday gets to go on my "One of the Worst Days of My Life" list. I would tell you about it, but I just don't have the energy other than to say it ended with me crying for about three solid hours. And some of the most outrageous, unbelievable things were done here at the college yesterday at my home, that you will not believe me when I do tell you all. I learned a whole lot more abut what happened today and I now see that there is a vicious, back-biting culture here which I don't know if my husband will be able to change or not. Just crazy stuff and I learned that there is one person at the heart of a lot of what went on. One man was so angry by how he was treated yesterday that he didn't come in today. The other person came in but was still very angry about how he had been insulted. But at least they were both called last night by their two main bosses telling them that they were fine, not to worry, they knew they were their best workers, etc. But I can't do the work I'm supposed to do in a place this dysfunctional. The main boss, though, sees clearly what is happening and got to experience some of it for himself yesterday when he had to call some one down for actually yelling at these two men out in the front yard of my house. I understand better what all the undercurrents were, but there is still some stuff going on that I haven't figured out yet. The main director promised me that this would never, ever happen again. Long,long story. I'm not even getting to the highlight of it because I will get so mad again if I think about it.
I gave the breakfast for the board of directors this morning and it went well. I got up early to,get more,work done in the house. And, even though I only got about fur hurs of sleep, looked good, if I say so myself! I had a well-timed appointment with my psychologist and went to the grocery store to get stuff to make dinner for a Korean family we invited over for dinner, we hadn't realized they had ayoung daughter who worked in Manhattan. She took the train and joined us. She's my daughter' sage and also has an art degree. It would be great if they became friends. Our daughter really needs a friend. And a job!
So, I'm still not getting to live my life and have been tremendously discouraged. But tomorrow is a new day. All I want to do is,stay in my nightgown all day and work at unpacking and come waning tub the library. And get a massage. I've got muscle spasms all over from everything, mostly all the cooking I did this evening and am hurting like crazy. I'm trying to get past it without taking anything.
I need to go back to the doctor because the amount of cortisol she has me on is not being enough to wake me up. I'm working better once I'm awake, but being able to wake up is not being any easier. Do you know that there are four enzymes or proteins or hormones or whatever the heck they are ... but there are four of them that give you energy, burn fat and increase muscle mass ... that my body is just not making!! My levels are crazy low, in the doctor's word, completely negligible amounts! I'm on heavy supplementation and had a little bit of improvement in one of them with the last blood test
At least my appointment with this specialist is coming up this month. Maybe he'll be brilliant.
And then there's the latest horrors from ISIS. Good God, please help us all.
Good night,
Lisa
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