Dear Friend,
Not a good day, today. I was exhausted from last night. The rain let up before our event and we had a very good attendance. The president of Clinique talked about how beautiful I was, so that's always a good thing! I wore my five-minute heels for more than two hours and was in major pain!
But then I slept about eleven hours and felt completely enervated, used up, washed out, worthless and hopeless, overwhelmed, and giving up. Too many things, too many problems, too many decisions, too many responsibilities. I need help decorating the rest of the house badly, but I'm having tondo it on my own. I agonized over a mirror for the powder room downstairs. It is the room that will be used by company and it needs to look right. The sink is in the corner, which starts it off difficult. The light fixture has bronze metal so it has to work with that. The she is from 1919 so it needs to be appropriate to that. The wallpaper is silver, so a gold framed mirror won't work.the way the sink is set, the mirror can't be any wider than 14 inches or it will be too close to a persons face as they wash their hands. It needs to be somewhat tall because of the layout. Mirrors can cost crazy amounts of money! I ultimately picked out two that I sent to the head of facilities. One is okay, one is perfect and reasonable at $170. But I've spent hours on this one decision! I also picked the sconces for my bathroom and find them $30 cheaper each on amazon that wayfair! So that saved me $120 there. I have some simple mirrors picked out that are cheaper on lampsplus than amazon,and I plan on buying them tomorrow. But their are some venetian mirrors out there that would not be that much more expensive, but I actually don't think they'd work with the elegant shabby chic look I'm going for.
I feel like such a failure. I didn't get my makeup on even today and asked my husband for us to go out to the diner for dinner,but he insisted on cooking himself, which made me feel awful. I wonder if he's lost respect for me since I've become such an ineffective slug?
I have another event tomorrow evening, and then a dinner next week. Maybe I can get my Christmas presents bought and start pulling things together. But a toilet paper holder in the powder room would be a good,thing!
I know I've been in a depression for a while, and maybe it's getting worse.
I guess that's enough complaining for now. There'll be more,to come later, I'm sure. Sorry to end on such a glum note, but maybe it will help you feel better about you!
I know what! I just had a great idea. In the morning I'll get up,right away and go to that diner with the good coffee and fruit salad and take my Bible and prayer journal and to-do list, etc. and get a grip on the day. Genius!
Cheers after all!
Lisa
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