Day 259 - Great Weekend!

Dear Friends,

I am trying to be more mindful in the evenings of how I use my time.  I've spent a fair amount looking for a website which had several great possibilities for a console table or chest in the entry, but I can't find it on my iPad anywhere.  I wonder if it is on my husbands computer downstairs?  I've checked hay-needle, overstock, wayfair, one king's lane, and then image searches for one chest I could remember specifically.  But no luck.  I really hope I haven't lost it because a lot of time went in to looking for a narrow enough console or chest. It needs to only be 9-10 inches deep, and that's hard to get.     

I also sent three emails to the head facilities because there's a lot of work to be done before the baby grand arrives ... day after tomorrow!  And a lot of work to be done before the 10th of October when the stairway carpet will be installed. 

But the thing that took the most time was writing a letter to my brother and the rest of my family.  He sent out an email about our "Liar in Chief" and I wrote a long rebuttal.  Am I going to go into it here?  Mais, oui!  I'll just copy it here for you to read if you want.  I think it's important, but you cane just skip past it if you want.  

XXXX, it hurts me when I hear you saying something so deeply disrespectful like this.  I don't care who he is, I don't care what he's done, I don't care if he has lied.  What I do care about is how I obey God when it comes to the governing authorities.  Whether you like him or not, God is the one who put him in place as our president.  I don't know why, but he did not come into power accidentally.  

Please read Romans 13:1-2.p with a prayerful heart and ask if calling him the "Liar in Chief" is obeying this command at a heart level.  

  Submission to Authorities

All of you must be willing to obey completely those who rule over you. There are no authorities except the ones God has chosen. Those who now rule have been chosen by God. 2 So when you oppose the authorities, you are opposing those whom God has appointed. Those who do that will be judged.

You may object to things he does, but it should be done with civility and not with insults.  When Paul spoke these words under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the ruler he was talking about was Nero, one of the greatest enemies of the church.  He is saying, specifically, that God had chosen this man, Nero, to be the emperor.  Whatever you want to say about "President Obama" (and that is the only proper way for a Christian to speak of him), he doesn't compare to Nero. And this means that God chose President Obama and put him in power.  The liberals didn't elect him.  The blue states didn't elect him.  God put him in the White House.  Until you really grasp that, you cannot humble yourself before God and act as His servant with His heart in any political struggles you feel you are called to engage in.  

Because we are a democracy does not negate God's authority in our elections.  I cannot begin to tell you how very much it hurt me to vote for a heretic during the last election, and truthfully, I would not be able to do it again.  But another election is coming up and conservatives will try to vote him out of office and will find out the night of the election if that was the will of God or not.  

My main problem is that you are acting like your heart is in this kingdom, the kingdom of the world.  And it should not be.  We live in a world that is under the domain of the evil one and, as Christ's ambassadors, we actually function in the role of secret agents, living in the kingdom of this earth while doing the work of the kingdom of heaven and trying to subvert the subjects of this kingdom to join the kingdom of heaven.  I believe it is right to stand against evil and injustice.  I think that America will always be under attack because Satan hates the things we stand for: freedom, justice and equality.  So I don't admonish you for your involvement in politics, but I do not think it is being done with a kingdom of heaven perspective when you use insults like this.   

We have a definite work we are supposed to be doing in this world in regards to the government, and I wonder if you are doing that work.  Please read I Timothy 2:1-6b-

 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all people. 

We are told that our work here is to pray for kings those in authority with the aim that we can lead peaceful and quiet lives.  So, how much does your involvement in politics involve first deep, intercessory prayer for the politician.  Because I don't think you can revile or insult a man if you are humble and have the love of God for him in your heart and have spent real time praying for him.  

The main difference we have between us, and between me and virtually all of my family is that I don't see anyone having a Kingdom perspective or doing the work of the Kingdom or having the mindset of the Kingdom of Heaven or having confidence that God, the Heavenly Father, is at work in this nation for His own purposes and using us to fit into the role He has for us in His ultimate plan.  Everyone seems to be members of the kingdom of this earth and caught up in the things of this earth instead of having renounced your citizenship in that kingdom and living only as the Lord's servant.  

So ... there you go.  You are all welcome to take me off of your email lists or unfriend me or whatever you want to do.  

My family is one of the best arguments for higher education.  They are plenty smart enough, they just don't know how to think logically and to let their various beliefs and thoughts interact with each other within them so that they become a concise whole.  They are so easily manipulated that it kills me.  If Fox News says it, then they believe it!  A week ago, my other brother sent out an article saying with great outrage that no one from the government attended the funeral of a general who died in Afghanistan.  So, I looked it up on Snopes and it just wasn't true.  Not only was it not true, but they even found the guy who started the whole thing.  He thinks it's a huge joke because the "right-wing-nut-cases" just believed it and reposted and reposted without taking any time to check if it was true or not.  So I sent all this information to my brother and he said ... oh, wait.  He didn't say anything!  He didn't respond at all, and neither did anyone else that he sent it to.  

I had a fun time with my housekeeper/friend.  I took her to the Statue of Liberty and the 9-11 Memorial, all of which just blew her away.  The next day we went to see Mamma Mia and then went to a nice restaurant, walked through Times Square and stopped in at the Empire State Building.  She had such a wonderful time and I was so glad to have been able to give her this opportunity.  She did a lot of straightening of things in the basement, so I can probably take it from here.  She also got my glass desk put together!! That was great.  She is a lot of fun and we had a good time.  

I took her to the airport and she got to see my daughter who came in right before she left and was able to give her a hug.  She loves both my kids!  

I was SOOOOO glad to see my daughter!   Yay!  She and her boyfriend had a huge fight last night, and they haven't been doing very well already anyway.  So, she's more interested in moving here now than she was, which is great!!  She says she just wants to hang out and not necessarily go into the city, but I'm hoping we can go to the 9-11 Memorial at least.  It is unbelievable!!  Excellent, excellent job!

Well, that does it for me, I guess.  Still need to find comfort shoes for walking Manhattan!  And I have to get ready for our high school reunion at the end of next month.  

Cheers!

Lisa

Day 262 - Entering the Twilight Zone

Dear Reader, 

And by "the Twilight Zone " I, of course, mean the New York Department of Motor Vehicles!!  It's a pure nightmare there!  I went back in today for the sixth time, I think, simply trying to get my car registered!  I have done EVERYTHING it says to do online!  I even found specific instructions for having someone else register your car for you when you can't come in.  So I printed off and filled out everything, took my husband's temporary drivers license card in because his permanent one has not come in yet, his passport and his social security card because it says to bring in "proof of identity."  The first thing the first woman said to me made me mad and colored the rest of the entire venture.  For some reason,you have to provide a copy of your title from the lien holder -- that makes sense -- but then you ALSO have to have a letter from the bank "on their letterhead" saying that they know you have moved the car to New York and are registering it there and that that's fine with them.  Then the bank has to write something down and have it notarized ... I don't remember exactly what that was.  So, the first woman I see looks at my stuff and tells me that I HAVE TO GET A NEW LETTER FROM THE BANK BECAUSE THIS ONE IS TOO OLD!  Right then I knew that I was going to lose my mind!  I objected and said there was no reason for me to get a new letter from them and they could not go making up new rules at their whim!  I have to have this letter.  I HAVE this letter!  I've been trying to register the car for months and have brought the letter with me each time, etc. and that it NOWHERE said anything about when the letter had to be issued!  Well, she said it did and that the thing that the person wrote on the title and had signed and attested to by a notary public would not pass because it couldnt be in HANDWRITING,! It had to be STAMPED on the letter.  I did not go ballistic yet.  I said that that was why it had been NOTARIZED and there is nothing sauing it can't be handwritten and has to be stamped and they don't MAKE a stamp that says that!  She said, yes it had to be stamped.  And, I'm off and running by that point!  Told her that that is not the case, she can't just make up new rules, I wasn't going to get a new letter from the bank and every time I come they were changing things and they couldn't do that.  (I was NOT going to let go or back down this time!). I said I wanted to talk to the supervisor. So then she and the supervisor had to yell at each other across the room several times about why she could t transfer my service number to a different counter.  YELLED!  Several times, back and forth! The supervisor finally yelled at her to send me down to a particular counter where I met her.  

She started telling me that my husband has to come in.  I said no he doesn't and whoed her on my iPhone where specific instructions are given for registering a car for someone else.  So then she started in on I had to get a new letter from the bank.  I was indignant and asked why in the WORLD I would need a new letter when all it says is that it is okay with them for me to register the car! She says, well it's been two months and who knows what's happened in the two months with this car.  I think I was pretty much yelling at this point, and said that the car had been sitting in our village for these two months because they wouldn't let me register it!!  She still said I had to have a new letter and I said, No!  I did not and I absolutely was not going to get a new one.  That there was no reason, there was nothing in the New York regulations that would require that and she could not make up rules.  Show me the regulation that says it has to be dated a particular date and I would comply.  Otherwise, I absolutely was not going to.  So, she backed down on that one. But then she said that I had to have his permanent drivers license with his picture and his temporary license was no good.  All that anything says for registering a car is that you have to fill in the drivers license number, which I had done.  Nowhere does it say this nonsense about having to have the picture ID license.  So they bring out a form showing what proofs of identity you have to have to get a drivers license, one possibility of which is using your state drivers license which y then surrender to them.  So I'm trying to explain that that is the regulation for getting a DRIVER'S LICENSE ... not for registering a car!!  The instructions for registering a car just say to bring a proof of identity!  And the I said, so basically, what you are telling me is that New York doesn't want anyone moving here from a different state because they are making it IMPOSSIBLE TO REGISTER A VEHICLE HERE!  Then she started going on about how his name is different on different things!  He signed his passport with his full name, his license with his shortened first name and last name, the insurance is in his full first name and last name.  I try to explain to her that THIS, the way he signed his driver's license was his legal signature!   But couldn't get that through at all.  I ultimately asked to talk to her boss who came out, very sweet.  She said that she would personally take care of the bank letter and I wouldn't need to do anything about that.  But she was dead set on I had to have his permanent drivers license and I have to contact the insurance company and get them to put his middle initial on the proof-of-insurance form so they could know that this was all one person.  

And you know ... there comes a point where you finally just have to walk away.  All I'm trying to do is register the car so I can purchase the license tags and pay whatever money the state of New York wants me to pay.  That's it.  I want to GIVE THEM MY MONEY ... But because of these type of women, I can't.  The only thing is that I argued down all three New York women!  I told you, you can't out-attitude a Texan!  Each of them started out with a bunch of attitude, but ended being very courteous.  Weird weird weird.  One of them said something about how "it" wouldn't get through Albany, I guess the main dmv office.  So I think I'm just going to call Albany on Monday and talk to someone in charge and tell them what's been going on.  And I'm not going back to this branch.  There's another one in a different town that I'll go to next time.  I am completely at my wits end.  Have the insurance company reissue their proof of insurance and include his middle initial so that they can know that this is the same person.  

It's like the bank issue the other night when I needed to send our daughter some money.  They made a coding error in everyone's online ... thing.  I just needed them to correct their coding mistake so I could transfer her money.  But they wouldn't fix their mistake because I couldn't tell them a date and an amount of a recent transaction I had made on my debit card.  My debit card which I don't use.  And they would not do it.  They would not fix their error.  

SO ... the moral of the story is that I don't EVER want to hear ANYONE make fun of people in the South!  Ever, ever, ever!  I can't remember running into this kind of brick wall of stupidity in all my years in the South.  Stupidity, yes.  Brick-wall stupidity, though?  Nope!  

Then, this evening I'm reading what had been an interesting novel set around evidence of Europeans coming to America a century before Columbus did.  Not the Vikings who came in the 1000 AD vicinity, but Scots who came in the 1300's.  It's going along, pretty good plot, pretty good characters, pretty good pace ... when all of a sudden I find myself in the middle of a Dan Brown, Da Vinci Code thing!!  All of a sudden the two main characters are told tha the archeological thing that they are searching for and being hunted down for is no less than the geneology of the blood line of Jesus through the child He and Mary Magdalene had!  The Vatican doesn't want it to be found, but the people who are of the geneology want to find it to prove that they are descended from Jesus!  OH MY GOSH!!!!  I tried to quit reading there, but the damage was done and I was so mad!  You know what the evidence was that Jesus had a child with Mary Magdalene?  Well ... some monk in the 1100's referred to her in a sermon as the bride of Christ.  And someone in the 1200's made a stained glass window that shows Jesus and Mary Magdalene holding hands and she is pregnant.  And then in some cave somewhere there is a very rough carving that shows a man and a woman and a child, which someone has said is Jesus and Mary and their daughter!  I'm not quite sure how Him DYING ON THE CROSS AND BEING RAISED BACK TO LIFE, CONQUERING DEATH, somehow equates into Him later hiding out in France with her!  You know, there is nothing in the Bible indicating that she was a prostitute?i hope you knew that .. Otherwise,my haven't been pang attention!  You know why people think that she was a prostitute?  BECAUSE SOME POPE IN THE 1200's SAID SHE WAS!!!   But out two characters become convinced by this compelling argument that Jesus had an illegitimate child with Mary Magdalene.  

It just makes my heart sick.  Once I get over being furious, that is!  There's so much more I'd like to say, but my husband just came and said I have to come to bed.  It's 2:00 am.  

The doctor said that one of my new supplements might start making me nervous or on edge.  I'm thinking maybe that's happening.  

Later!

Lisa

Day 263 - Drove to the Airport By Myself!

Dear Reader,

This was a big deal for me to drive to the airport by myself to pick u my friend, and then drive home.  It went perfectly fine and I felt calm and at ease during it.  I even got there early!  She is so excited about being here.  We looked at the basement, and it looks hopeless!  I told her I needed her enthusiasm to be able to tackle this.  I've been looking at it for months now, and find it completely overwhelming.  Showing her the house, I saw how many things still need to be done, so that was a little discouraging.  But, were going to take a stab at it tomorrow.  But, I also have to try to get our car registered tomorrow and see my psychologist, so that's going to cut into our time a lot.  Saturday were doing the tourist things in NYC, and seeing Mama Mia on Sunday. She leaves Monday and our daughter comes in on Monday.  

I'm worried about our daughter.  She told me today that she has finally decided she has to see a therapist.  Apparently she's crying all the time and is very emotional.  Says she is missing us a lot.  Plus,maje knows that time is running out for her to stay in Nashville.  She has to be working full time when her lease expires or move up here.  You know what I am hoping for.  There is such a neat village about 20 minutes from us that is amazing!  I know she'd love it there!  

I got my new food allergies test back today and it is ... different.  Very different. I am only very allergic to five things.  I don't remember them all at the moment, but cucumbers is one of them.  Including everythingk down to the things that I am only mildly allergic to, it's 51 things now.  

My arm is still really bad.  I didn't get an appointment set up yet, but I'm starting to wonder if I've torn some tendons in it.  There are some ways that I move it that are extremely painful!  

I've been dutifully, nay, obsessively looking for comfortable low-heeled she's with ankle straps.  

Cheers!
Lisa

Day 264 - Not Showing Up

Dear Reader, 

I haven't written lately because I haven't shown up to do so.  In fact, I haven't shown up for much of anything the last few days, including life.  Monday started good.  Very on top of life, ready to fight to have the life I want.  Tuesday was taken up by leaving early to go into town for dinner and an off-broadway okay, which was loads of fun, by the way.  Then today I slept late because we got in very late. 

But mostly I've been searching the web.  For anything and everything.  Reading a book that has lots about early medieval things in America which has been pretty fascinating.  Then trying to find a lot of products to put in a tote bag for her very distressing bowel incontinence.  I finally found products that I thought would be really helpful for her to keep in her car so having an accident wouldn't prove to be quite so devastating,  also researched a lot to find he best cordless steam mop to deal with the six places or so I have to clean up each day because of one of our dogs.  Oh, and now trying to find heels and flats that I can wear to walk around in New York.  

Obviously I'm vanishing into research online to disengage with life, which is pretty tedious right now with no friends and no church and nothing but still unpacking and trying to get them to get work done on the house.  

I really need to "show up" for life tomorrow, though.  A lot to do before I go to LaGuardia to pick up my housekeeper.  

I'm too glum to offer you my usual "cheers"!  So ... later, dude!

Lisa

Day 270 - Good Day to See a Shrink!

Dear Reader,  

Saw my psychologist today, which was a timely appointment since I was obsessed with this unsupervised child thing that had me so mad last night.  I couldn't get to sleep till 2 this morning, which made this day start late which made me mad at myself.  There were so many aspects that I could not put to rest. The mother's vilification of the neighbor.  How did the police get involved? The neighbor.  My anger at her mitigating the real problems of not keeping an eye on a child that sound, that far away.  The irresponsible journalists and bloggers her are regurgitating her defensive and accusatory statements.  The way she kept saying, "he was just playing outside" -- which wasn't the issue!  The issue was that he was waaaay away from the house, by myself, and unsupervised by her.  It wasn't that he was "just playing outside".  And then the comments all over the internet saying terrible things about the neighbor.  Oh, and this woman says she wants to move to a different neighborhood now.  I understand her being mad.  I understand her minimalizing the real issue.  I understand her playing the victim and vilifying the neighbor on her blog.  Self-defense is human nature.  But then, some reporter came along, talked to her, snapped a couple of pictures, took her word on everything and did not talk to the neighbor to find out how the police got involved.  Did she know that child protective services would come out? Had that been her intention?  Nothing.  She's just being written about and treated like she is the scum of the earth by people all over the place! I think it's one thing to be mad on your blog, but it's another thing to fire off the same vitriol to a reporter who is going to put it into the news.   I had a woman yell at me one time for spanking my son when he was three years old.  It was at a movie theater.  I took him out of the movie (I don't remember what he had done) and gave him a paddling.  On an ultra-thick diaper.  They don't even make them that thick anymore!  It didn't hurt him at all!  But this woman came up and said, "You don't have to beat him like that!"  I said, "What???"  And she repeated herself.  Loudly.  He was screaming, because that's what he did whenever he was thwarted, and she  was yelling at me.  So I said, "Lasy, it's in my job description that I have to take pay attention to him, but I DON'T have to pay attention to you, so leave me alone!"  She went on into the theater and I was, yes, FURIOUS!  And I was on my guard for a week for CPS to,show up.  This happened, incidentally, while I lived in South Austin.  I was spanking him in a way that made a lot of sound on those super thick diapers, but which he could barely feel.  He was screaming because he was raging mad because I wouldn't let him do "X" ... whatever "X" might have been.  I don't remember now.  He got the spanking for going into a screaming anger fit for not being allowed to do something.  Probably run around in the theater.  

Anyway, the whole thing occupied my mind the entire day and I spent a lot of spare time online looking up statistics on kidnappings and all sorts of other things.  

So, I had a good talk with my doctor about it and told her I was mad because I couldn't pull myself out of it.  She said it was like a vortex for me and once I slipped in, I was gone and there was probably just no stopping it at that point.  We talked about triggers to be aware of and what news articles to NOT look at in the future and to consider it to be something that is not healthy for me to get involved in.  I found a lot of conflicting figures online about it all.  I only just now found a good site that was a thorough analysis of all the main scenarios,  I'm going to save that to read later.  At this point, the vitriol is almost gone, and I've become interested in it on a more academic level.  

I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond today to look at their steam mops and to return the swiffer sweep and trap I got there a couple of months ago,  only one problem.  The receipt I kept did not have it on it, and they said they had never carried it!  So, I wonder where I got it?  They had some steam mops, but they were too expensive, even with my 20% off coupon.  I did, however, find an extremely happy shower curtain form my daughter's bathroom here which will really spark up that really dull room.  Everything in it is beige, including the sink, the toilet, the shower, the floor, and the walls!

I made a quick Coq au Vin for dinner with fingerling potatoes and a fancy schmancy salad.  It was all good, but murder to clean it all up afterwards.  I may be going back to just salads!  

I have to get up early in the morning for our first ground-breaking ceremony.  Pretty exciting, huh!  But I'll have to really dress up, wear a suit and pantyhose ... the whole nine yards!  

This evening, I just couldn't shake being angry.  It was just this rough emotion going through me that I couldn't stop, so I'm guessing that my testosterone levels are still way too high.  

That's it for me.  I'm going to hate myself for staying up this late tomorrow!

Cheers!
Lisa

Day 271 - I Am So Angry!!

Dear Reader, 

Since I was neglected and abused as a child, I get really angry when I read about a child or animal being neglected or harmed.  And I just read an item from the NY Daily News which hit two of my hot spots:  a child being neglected and the media manipulating the reader for monetary gain.  

The story is about a woman in South Austin who let her son play outside and had a neighbor call Child Services on her because of it. Evil neighbor!  Evil Child Protective Services!  Only, here's the problem with that little scenario.  The child wasn't playing opinion the front yard, or even on the block!  The SIX-YEAR-OLD was playing in a deserted park area one hundred and fifty yards from the house.  Quick calculation: how long is a football field??  Oh, yeah, 100 yards!  So this child was playing ALONE the length of one and a half FOOTBALL FIELDS from home, unsupervised by his mother who was inside her house with the door closed!  In factor she didn't see this man approach her son, talk to him, or lead him away from there.  He took the little boy to her, but he could have just as well taken him to a parked car!  This is how kids get kidnapped and found dead later!  What brings this home even more for me is that I used to live in South Austin 25 years ago and had a little boy there.  South Austin wasn't safe then, and it's not safe now.  My son could play in the back yard without me being with him with our dog with him, and the back door open so I could hear him at all times and watch him from windows as I did housework.  He couldn't play in the front yard even then, unless I stayed right there with him.  I used to pay a neighborhood girl to come play with him in the front yard while I got dinner ready because it wasn't safe for him to be out there alone.  There is even a walking path in this big deserted green space so strangers can come and go without raising suspicions.  Her child could have been long gone before she even knew it.  There are other dangers than people, too.  There are rattlesnakes everywhere there, fire ants, hornets, and wild dogs.  Mountain lions have been verified in the neighboring county.  But she and the media are playing this up so manipulatively.  I just checked and 46,000 children are abducted in Texas alone EACH YEAR!  The Daily News is playing it this way because she has a blog and that's how she wrote about it in their blog.  They are also playing it this way because they want more traffic on their website to get more advertising dollars, so the more inflammatory they can make this, the better off their bottom line is.  No one has talked to the neighbor who is being roundly criticized by everyone.  I wonder if he saw this child alone so far from the houses and called the police just to ask them what he should do?  Poor guy.  No good deed goes unpunished, right?

I had a very hard time waking up again this morning.  Especially frustrating since I read a good amount in a book called How to Wake Up Before You Have To, or something like that, before I went to bed.  I also felt really, really tired today.  I got some grocery shopping done today, but was so tired afterwards that I had to ask my sweet husband to take us out for dinner.  At least I have everything I need  to make a nice dinner tomorrow.  

So ... let's see if I can get my blood pressure back down now. 

While I was busy at home today, I suddenly realized that I felt a sense of ease I haven't known in forever.  I haven't started the klonopin yet, so it's just the beginning of the effect of this new life on me.  Yay!  

And now.  Shall I tell you something embarrassing?  I mean, really, really embarrassing?  Oh, why not!  I've been reading a lot by this woman in South Carolina who has a big program about ... oh, there is no way to not sound trite so I'll just go ahead: how to become a better you.  It's way more than that, of course.  And I came across her about three months ago and have been reading her emails and posts and articles and I really like a lot of what she says.  So ... I signed up today for her 10 week immersion program.  Okay, once you have finished mocking me (!) let me tell you that I am really excited about it!  It starts October 6 and I actually can't wait!  

Day 272 - Visit With the Doctor

Dear Reader, 

I had an eventful visit with the doctor today.  I was able to pick up the carnitine supplement that helps you build muscle, metabolize fat, and have energy... the substance that I don't have any of.  And she gave me a prescription for anxiety that is supposed to be effective all day, rather than just taking a Xanax at night so I can sleep.  I'll get that filled tomorrow. I'm looking forward to trying it. My husband says I was on it during the depression.  

The doctor and I talked about my shoulder issues and she felt it and said she wanted me to have trigger point injections.  They do injections of a combination of B12 and lidocaine.  She also suggested an IV infusion.  Apparently infusions are a huge deal on the west coast.  I don't remember everything that was in this at the moment, but it's a big dose of Vitamin C, all the B vitamins, zinc, magnesium, ... can't remember the rest except glutathamine also.  I think that's what it is.  It's the enzyme that helps your body eliminate heavy metals and that I am apparently have very low levels of.  It's also supposed to help y with energy.  It's basically a big dose of vitamins and minerals directly into your blood stream, this bypassing the metabolic system and eliminating any reactions to foods that would contain these nutrients.  We'll see.  I was impressed again with this doctor.  

She said that she wanted to introduce me to her naturopath and have her be in charge of my supplements and other aspects of my care.  And, the naturopath turned out to be the woman I didn't want to see on my first visit!  And, guess what?  She's terrific!  She looks a mess.  Very unkempt and her clothes are too small for her and,just, in general ... a mess!  But, boy!  Does she know her stuff!  I was really impressed with her.  I'd still do the same thing as I did before and say that I would rather see the doctor.  But I'm very glad to have her be part of my care.  She went over all my tests again and asked me a lot of questions.  Then, she said that her next question might seem very random but, how was my childhood?  I said, off the charts.  And she said, I thought so.  That is what your test results are telling me.  So, weird, huh?  

Anyway, she did these injections into trigger points all over my back.  She'd be walking her fingers around and all of a sudden hit one and I'd yell!  I asked her about the lump in my arm and, sure enought, I've got a lump in my arm!  I thought maybe it was just a muscle that was swollen, but nope.  It is called, to be technical, a "lump".  She said it doesn't feel like a tumor, but feels like it is fluid-filled.  So, I have to get a cat scan of it this week and go back in next week for the results.  

I met with the man in charge of all the facilities here at the college today.  I think were both glad that the man I've been mostly dealing with is leaving.  I got my paints all written up in a document for him, and then a document with everything that needs to be done to the house.  He thought that A LOT of these things had already been done and wasn't happy to find out that they hadn't been.  So, we got a lot of nuts and bolts worked out and he is putting someone else in charge of taking care of things and he and I are going to communicate directly now.  I think things should get to rocking pretty quickly.  

I guess that's it for me tonight.  

Cheers!
Lisa

Day 273 - Making Headway

Dear Reader,

I actually feel like I've turned a corner in the house at last.  Slowly, but surely, I see, to be starting to make sense of everything.  I've got several more Salvation Army boxes packed up and ready to go.  And my study is pulling together.  It's going to be heavenly!  

I had the new cleaners out today.  I picked them because I was very impressed by the young woman who owns the business.  She lives in my village and has several clients in my neighborhood.  I was pleased with the job they did, too.  Three very pleasant women came out and cleaned a house the way it's supposed to be cleaned. They started by dusting off the door and window frames in each room.  I meant to point out an a/c vent that needed dusting but forgot to.  But I see that they got it.  They use "green" products, which don't mean that I won't react to them.  I suggested that they use them in only one bathroom so I could see if I would have a problem.  At one point I walked up to the room as the lady was cleaning in it, and the fragrance hit me hard and I started coughing. Within just a few minutes I started itching on my neck and then, within a short while, just felt "sick" and had to sit down for a while.   So, they'll be limited to using the few cleaners that I don't react to.  I've been reading about vinegar, but the one time a housekeeper tried using it, the smell made me really sick.  Not in an allergic way, just in an, "Oh, my gosh!  That smells disgusting!" Sort of way.  The supervisor come out with them and walked them through the house, and then, another woman came over after they left to inspect their work!  I am very happy about them!  A solid weekly cleaning will be a HUGE relief for me!  

I bought a Bissell vac for $49 that is supposed to be great for dog hair, so I can use that the rest of the week.  I have a swiffer thing to return to bed, bath & beyond and a 20%  off coupon and am hoping to pick up an inexpensive steam mop tomorrow.  This will be primarily for spot cleaning behind my Jack Russell as she urinates with abandon throughout the house!  The diapers are too expensive to use all the time, plus she starts itching if I use them too much.  The legs of doggie diapers are designed to be loose so that their poop falls out of the diaper.  Doesn't sound like a good idea, does it?  But, the alternative would be for the poor dog to sit on her poopee until you got her out and then washed her behind!  So, I wake up each morning to my dog having an enormously full diaper, and poop droppings on the floor.  It's great fun!  I get to begin each day doing poop patrol!  These steam mops clean and sterilize the floor and are supposed to be way easier to use than getting out your mop and mop bucket, mopping, then cleaning your mop and emptying your bucket and putting it all away.  The only problem is ... I spent a fair amount of time in bed researching the steam mops and picking out the four that I liked the best.  Then I went to the bed, bath & being site and they didn't have a single one of them!!

So.  Here's the big question of the evening.  This pain in my shoulder and bicep ... could it be cancer??  There is a lump on the outside of my arm which could be any number of things.  But what if it's cancer?  I wanted to go ahead and put this out here and not be superstitious about saying the word "cancer"!  I mean, we all fear it, don't we?  Or maybe that's just me?  Anyway, I'm not being totally paranoid because my mother had a large tumor in her arm that was cancerous and was causing this same sort of pain.  I doubt seriously that that is what is messing up my arm.  But it's on my mind a lot.  I see my new doctor tomorrow and will talk to her about it.  

Oh, news flash.  I have another body lotion that I can smell now!  I was so excited.  

And, double news flash.  I HAVE LOST FIVE POUNDS!!!  I guess being sick of eating has had an effect.  

I decided to look into easy French recipes and try making them and see if I can regain ANY interest in cooking again.  So tonight I made a  version of a (don't fail me now, spell check!) nicoise  salad.  (Spellcheck says that is misspelled, but I beg to differ!). My version had no hard-boiled egg (extremely allergic and husband hated) and no tuna (way high levels of mercury) and no artichokes because I didn't notice them in the ingredients and didn't buy them.  I had the anchovies but forgot to out them on my salad (husband hates them).   I made the dressing with olive oil, tarragon vinegar, fresh garlic, a dab of mustard, and salt and pepper; it was very good.  Then I made Trout Amandine, except that what I actually made was Tilapia Amandine because trout was $14.99 a pound and tilapia was $7.99 a pound!  It was just delicious!  I also roasted some thin carrots that still had the roots and leaves on when I bought them.  I drizzled olive oil, salt and pepper on them and they were delicious, too.  I included a couple of gluten-free ciabatta rolls also.  It made a really nice dinner and I enjoyed making it.  

My husband got a text this evening from a woman in our home town who is nominating him for this yearly award our high school gives out.  So thats pretty exciting.  

Hmmm ... maybe I lost that five pounds because my stress level is less than it used to be and so my body is being able to start working on that.  Wouldn't that be lovely?

Well, here's to a great day for us all tomorrow!

Lisa

Day 264 - Why Am a I Still Awake??

Dear Reader,

It's 11:40 pm and I'm still awake, but soooo sleepy!  I'm at that point where I'm too tired to get out of the bathtub and go to bed.   Our son called just as we were getting in bed and I got up and went into my study to talk to him.  Whole talking I started going through a box of things that has had me totally intimidated.  There are my notes when I first taught the Gospel of John to a college student I was mentoring.  Then there are chapters from the first book I started writing. Then there are lessons when I tried to convert it for teaching at a Sunday school.  Then the chapters for a book I started on just the prologue of John.  Then a break off study I taught for two weeks on whether or not God is responsible for evil.  ALL of it tossed in together and a lot of it not stapled and all over the place. Plus just a ton of other stuff.  By the time he and I hung up after about 40 minutes I was so close to having everything sorted that I continued until I was done.  

I got a lot done on my study this weekend, primarily because I had some cleaners in on Monday.  That helped soooo much!  I have a different company coming in tomorrow.  8 wanted someone twice a week, but I'm going to see how just once a week will work.  

We visited the church that has 4:00 pm services again this Sunday, hoping that the jazz music would have turned out to be something they just did in the summer.  But ... nope!  I was so disappointed because the church is really quite bearable other than that.  The music director is a woman with an amazing voice -- she used to do Broadway.  But I don't think she gets worship at all.  The reason is that she did "10,000 Reasons" by ... is it Matt Redman?  If you know the song you know what a beautiful, worshipful song it is.  But she gave it a jazz style and sang it too fast and sped up the tempo too much and did the verses very rigidly so it was almost a march.  It just hurt!  I think she even took out the "Bless The Lord, oh my soul" part of it.  So, well have to keep looking.  I like that it is a high church format, or at least moderately high church.  I really love the creeds and the blessings.  For me, they call me back to the centrality of Jesus and the gospel.  

Afterwards, we went to a French bistro where they serve absinthe.  I had read up on it already and learned that it's been legal since the 1930's, and the whole thing about it being a hallucinogenic was made up by the French wine companies because it was cutting into their sales!  You serve it at a ratio of 1:3 or 1:5 with cold water.  The water causes the oils from the plant seeds that are used (anise, fennel, etc.) to emulsify, making it an opaque, pale green with a heady bouquet of anise.  When prepared properly it has about he same amount of alcohol as a glass of wine.  I had two cubes if sugar dissolved in mine while the water dripped in and it was just delightful!  The aroma was amazing!  

Well, I'm going to get down to serious business now and go to bed.  

MUST go to the chiropractor tomorrow!  My shoulder is hurting badly.  Ugh!

Goodnight!

Lisa 

Day 265 - Sorry! No blog today ...

I was too busy having amazing sex with my husband!

Cheers!
Lisa

Day 266 - Busy Day!

Dear Reader, this will be short because I'm very tired.  I had to get up early this morning at 8:30 (gasp!) to get to my husband's convocation speech.  To say it was a success is an understatement! The faculty gave him a standing ovation.  I'm used to him getting standing ovations because he's an amazing speaker.  But it turns out that this is the very first time this has happened here!  I had several people tell me that they had been here for twenty years, etc., and that this had never happened.  He's gotten a lot of emails from people thanking him for the inspiring speech.  So, I'm glad that's over for him because it was pretty stressful.  

I tried to get into the chiropractor today because my arm and shoulder are starting to hurt again badly, but he closed early today!  So, I guess it's going to be a pretty painful weekend.  

Then, I went with my husband into the city for a dinner at a very exclusive club,  I was impressed!  There was no sign of any sort on the building other than the address number.  But once you went inside, it was wonderful!  Very old with many famous past and present members.  The art collection displayed everywhere was fantastic!  I saw two Winslow Homer paintings.  One of them, a watercolor they kept behind a small velvet curtain.  I presume to protect it from the light, but I thought there was special glass that did that.  

The dinner was nice, but not excellent.  There were very few things that I could eat.  I ordered a poached lobster salad, but inquired to be sure it didn't have mayonnaise because of the eggs.  They had to check and it turned out it did so I switched to a mushroom dish that was delicious.  Then I ordered the duck and it was unremarkable.  It came with maybe a tablespoon of butternut squash purée and about two bites of broccoli rabe.  What is with people being so stingy with the vegetables??  I couldn't have any of the bread so let me tell you what ... I was hungry!  My husband was talking so much that he was the last one to finish his meal and I was eyeing his potatoes wondering just how inelegant I would be of me to reach across and eat them off his plate!  Then the dessert tray came by and they had some berries and sorbet, so at least I got a little something.  

The company, however, was indescribable in its own way.  As in, indescribably boring!!  It is a really rare thing for me to not find people interesting.  But this was just dull,dull, dull.  My husband caught my eye a couple of times with an obvious apology on his face.  We have to go out with some other people tomorrow night.  I hope that they will be more interesting and enjoyable. 

I've decided that I don't like the train.  I'll be taking it, of course, anyway ... but I don't like it.  Molded plastic seats, fluorescent lighting, recirculated air.  And when you get off the train at Grand Central Terminal the air is hot and smells bad.  The worst thing on this trip, though, was the smell in the elevator at the train station.  It wasn't a nasty smell. More like a chemical smell that's gotten up in my nose or mind and I keep smelling it.  Ugh.  It almost made me sick. 

I really have got to find comfortable, but dressy, shoes!  I wore my lowest kitten heels and we didn't have to walk terribly far, but my feet still really hurt badly.  

Well, that's enough for now.  I've been having some thoughts about the French vous and tu lately and how it affects women.  Maybe I'll have time to talk about it tomorrow.  

Goodnight!
Lisa

Day 267 - And ... I'm Back!

Dear Long-suffering Reader,  

First off ... yet another punctuation question.  When using a hyphenated word in a title, do you capitalize the second part of the hyphenated word?  Where's my Turabian when I need it?!  (Boy, did I just date myself with that reference?!). 

So ... where have I been?  I've been right here, but just in too bad of a mood to talk.  And, too tired to stay I late enough to write.  And not in the mood during the day.  So, there you go. Question answered.  

I did not do well from eating the things I was allergic too.  I had some throat and tongue swelling and was still wheezing into the next day.  But that was not the worst of it.  I felt exhausted but hoped that I'd get some energy if I just went on with my housework as planned.  But that didn't happen.  My HYPERADRENERGIC (just love using that word!) dysautonomia raised it's ugly head and gave me fits.  I kept losing control of my body temperature.  The first time I had just swept a tiny section of the kitchen floor when I got incredibly hot and started sweating badly.  Had to set down for about forty minutes before my temperature got back down.  The second time was even worse and I had to get in a cold bath for about a half hour.  The third time I wised up and quit working as soon as it started so it didn't get so out-of-hand.  I'm being, in general, very reactive.  I had a chocolate protein shake that contained nothing I am allergic to, but I swelled up huge anyway.  

I think that's what caused me to shut down.  All I could think was that something had to give.  I can't keep eating turkey, shrimp and tilapia ... ONLY!  I thought I would never quit being able to eat a corn tortilla with refried beans on it and veggie cheese shreds.  But, guess what?  I have!  I am so frustrated by it, I can't tell you.  I can TRY to tell you, but you get the idea.  I need to learn about food rotation and see if that can help.  The idea is you eat a food YUNARE allergic to, but y don't eat it again for five days.  Your body senses it when you eat it and forms the antibodies to attack it the next time you eat it.  But you don't eat it again and so the antibodies get re absorbed.  Then, when you do eat it again, you start the process again.  But it's very complicated and I haven't taken the time to figure it out yet.  My new doctor has a nutritionist on staff.  If you join as a functional medicine patient and pay the yearly fee, you consult with the nutritionist once a month.  You also get to use the e-stem as much as you want ... heaven!  It is so effective for pain.  And there are other services you get as well that I'll explain at another time.  I just have to make an appointment and get in and get started.  I've called rice and they have called back, but I've missed them.  They use something called Patient Portal that you use to access your records and make appointments and envy thing, but I can't figure out how to sign up for it.  It keeps saying to "Log In" but there is no place to create a new account.  Technology strikes again!

I did do something very positive today that I am proud of.  I looked up the jazzercise center near me.  The prices are awfully high, which is one reason why I haven't already joined.  There's an initial fee of $99 (that's the special price, the usual price is $150!) and then $69 a month is you sign up for 12 months, or $89 a month if you just sign up for six months!  What if I can't do it?  What if I tear a tendon?  What if I almost pass out and what if my blood pressure craters?  What if I'm too weak to drive home after a class?  But, I decided I was just going to have to face those "what ifs."  So I got online to see where it was because I thought I'd go by and check it out today.  Well, I saw that they were having a special.  Can't remember now what it was except that it wasn't especially great.  But then I came across a groupon that let me buy 25 classes for $69 with no sign up fee.  And it's good for three months from when you first come in.  So, I'm pretty pumped about getting started with this and I SWEAR that I am not going to over-exert and injure myself!

Darn!  Just saw the time.  That's it for tonight.  

Cheers!
Lisa

3:30 and I'm Still Awake!

Dear Reader,

Guess who can't find her Xanax?  Yep.  No idea where it could be! I've looked everywhere.  I didn't need it last night, so I'm trying to think back two nights, which is not happening.  I am always super careful with that bottle, but I've looked everywhere and I can't find it.  Oh!  Just remembered that I should put on my headphones and listen to the piano solos on pandora.  That usually works.  

I haven't written for a few days.  Not because I forgot or because it slipped my mind, but mostly because I just didn't want to.  Accountability gets dreary sometimes!  But there's another reason, a good one.  I've been getting sleepy earlier in the evenings and I've not wanted to stay up to write!  So that's a good thing.  

The school year finally started and the students are back on campus.  We ate dinner in each of the two cafeterias the first couple of nights, so that was fun watching them start responding to my husband.  We had a girls' soccer match, and those gals can play!  Far more energetic game than the university we cam from.  (From which we came!)

I'm still having problems with my shoulder.  I went to the chiropractor earlier this week and he said that I have "ligament laxity" so my spine is going to come out of place much more often than other people, and I will need to find a regular pattern for getting an adjustment.  He wants to try to taper me down to whatever works for me whether it's once a week or once a month.  He said that if I allow it to just stay out of place like I do until the pain gets so bad I HAVE to go in, I will get "accelerated arthritis."  What???? So, finding out that my typical neglect will have ultimate consequences was shocking.  My neck is still being really hard for him to move on the side on which the shoulder is messed up, though it is adjusting more easily than when I first started going in.  My arm really hurts.

I threw caution to the wind this evening and ate three things that I'm allergic to.  We went to a very nice restaurant (cha-ching!). I was allergic to almost everything on the menu.  I decided to go with the soft shell crab, with them using rice flour instead of wheat.  I'm allergic to crab, but I haven't had it in more than a year so I thought it would be okay.  But we ordered polenta and it was delicious! It tends to be delicious when it's half corn meal and half Parmesan cheese!  I am, of course, allergic to cheese, but I ate it anyway.  And then, they came out with fried garbanzo beans in truffle oil, which I ate as well ... I'm allergic to garbanzo beans!  And there may have been some wheat crumbles on the broccoli rabe, but I didn't ask what it was.  I was just so tired of having all these food allergies and wanted to eat like a quasi-normal person!  I changed the way the crab was prepared and the chef switched the potato he served me since the one that was usually served incorporated wheat flour.  The result is ice been managing a reaction this evening.  Some tongue swelling and throat swelling, definite lip swelling and I have some wheezing going on in my chest.  But, I have managed it without taking a prednisone, so that's good.  I have had a ranatidine, a hydroxizene, a rapid-dissolve Claritin, and food allergy drops.  I may take so me benedryl when I go back upstairs just to hit it again with another form of anti-histamine.  

I've been trying all day to make paint decisions which has driven my anxiety up really high.  I don't have time to get samples and try things out, so I'm just having to figure things out from the paint chips.  I'm trying to decide if I can do a white-based breakfast room, but an ivory-based den.  You can't see either room from the other so I think it will be okay. I'm still ordering fabric samples, though I went ahead and grabbed some Laura Ashley fabric that I found at Calico Corner which was on a very good sale on ebay, slightly less than three yards.  There is a Duralee fabric I found also at Calico Corners that is an awesome plaid with all the right colors and just beautiful ... and discontinued!  I've been all over the web looking for it and finally emailed Duralee asking if they have any of it leftover.  I want to at least be able to make a couple of pillows!  

Well ... I'm going to go give sleep another try.  

Later!

Lisa