Dear Friend,
My back and calf were significantly better today. Enough so that I'm pretty sure I just strained all the muscles really bad and didn't actually tear anything. I spent the day in my chair in my study on a heating pad and stayed there all day until I had to go to the chiropractor.
After that I went to the health food store and picked up some items for a super fast dinner of cuban shrimp tacos. Could have sworn we had tequila, but it couldn't find it anywhere. They turned out really good, though.
After that we watched"Predestination" with Ethan Hawke. An incredibly rich and multi-layered time travel movie. Then my daughter and I tidied up the kitchen and I put the dogs out and started to feed them when all the muscles around my right hip went into a spasm. Not spasmS. One continual hard and extremely painful spasm! I was crying it hurt so bad, plus discouraged plus just really mad at my body for letting me down again. It hurt horribly being in bed, so I got in a hot tub with a bunch of Epsom salts and took three Motrin. Alternating hot and cold water, I finally got the spasm to release. Still a pretty good amount of pain, but at least I'm able to lay in bed on the heating pad now.
Figured out the insomnia. The reason my brain starts sounding the alarm the moment I almost go to sleep, it's because I am not willing to stop my day to rest my body. I don't care if it needs sleep. I'm sick of it and I don't WANT to take care if it anymore. So I come up with this big lust if things I MUST do before I'll let myself go to sleep. So, my overall lack of self-care is due to NOT CARING. I've got a lot of work to do on myself. Can I forgive my body and start trying to take care of it? Seems like a long shot to me.
I posted something on Facebook that is gong to make my family and other right wing nut cases furious! It's an article about the far right and how they are harming the country! I said my comment section will not become a place for them to rant and rave. This is my page and they can rant against the author and me all they want on their own page and that I will delete any posts that I perceive to be like that. But I was offering them the article, which is about them, looking at the country from a different perspective, for them to thnk about. Then I posted a video of kittens bathing and said for them to watch it after they read the article to lower their blood pressure.
I am still contemplating my response to my brother and making a lot of notes about what I want to say. I do know that it will be an actual letter in the mail. Not something he can slam back at immediately.
We are going to see a Broadway play tomorrow afternoon, "If/Then." I have a very funky/cool outfit I'm planning on wearing that I hope will be cute and fun.
I ordered a fabulous outfit for my husbands installation ceremony. Oh, I hope it fits!
That's it for today. I'm wondering if I can try to just thoroughly enjoy tomorrow instead of being mad at all the things I'm not getting done.
Lisa
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