Dear Reader,
Once I get into the pool and get past the cold, I really love it. I even tried meditating and doing some yoga poses in it. I'm increasing the number of laps I'm doing, but not pushing at all. While I was outside, I saw a large thing fly across the yard to where I have set up a chair in a little nook. It looked like one of these large Luna moths. After a bit, one of my dogs caught it and was carrying it in her mouth until I told her to let it go. She complied, and that's when I saw that it was a Praying Mantis! Prayng, or preying? Whatever. This thing was 6-7 inches long and angry! It had all of its wings flared out all over. Who knew!!!!? It was horrifying! And ugly! After a couple of minutes, it flew back over to my nook and got on my chair. Guess I won't be sitting there for a while!
I got the cat's bathroom thoroughly cleaned and even got a shower curtain put up. I moved her litter box to another room. I've shown it to her ... sure hope she remembers!
I made a large salad for dinner and then cooked basmati rice and made a turkey Italian Sausage currywurst whch turned out pretty well.
That's pretty much it for me. I got some odds and ends done, but nothing to speak of. Tomorrow's a fresh try.
Have a great Labor Day!
Lisa
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Friday, August 29, 2014
Page 280 - Anxiety Attack
Dear Reader,
One step forward, five steps back! Today was a rough day. I had a pretty clear-cut anxiety attack. Those are so miserable, and it just went on and one and on. Feeling afraid, frustrated because I knew there was nothing to be afraid of and that the fear was unreasonable and irrational and that I should be able to reason my way out of it. Or just keep working and hope that it disappeared. I even took a fourth of a Xanax at one point, but it didn't help. I decided to see if there was anything online and found a site called www.anxiety coach.com. MIT was actually pretty good. He even has a form for tn to fill out, a panic attack diary. I printed off the page, but wouldn't take the time to fill it out. He has five basic steps for dealing with an attack. The first is to just be aware of it, acknowledge and accept it. This is so much like the Welcoming Prayer, so I had no problem with it. Asked to learn what I could from it. You are supposed to use these steps to gently accept it without dreaming out. The second step is to wait and watch ... and maybe work. Panic attacks will peter out on their own, especially if y don't do anything to exacerbate them. So, rather than letting the panic and fear cause you to make a run for it, instead be an observer and wait for it to end, and maybe just continue with whatever work you were doing. The next is to take whatever actions you need in order to make herself a little more comfortable until the attack subsides. He suggests things like belly breathing (I know that this triggers the sympathetic (parasympathetic?) nervous system to calm you down. And to talk to yrself assuring herself that you are actually safe. That it is not your job to "make" the attack end, but to merely observe it until it does end. And then to repeat as necessary. This is to understand that sometimes panic attacks come in waves and y may have to do the work of calming and caring for yourself all over again.
Something on the printed off form caused me to realize that what brought this on was the fear that I was not going to be able to clean my house and keep it clean and the laundry done and the groceries purchased, and the dinners made and the clothes washed and ironed and out up and the yard cleaned up behind the dogs and the trash emptied, etc. etc. when I realized that was what had caused it, I started being able to accept the emotions without freaking out so baldy. OF COURSE I am not going to be able to keep a 5000 sq ft house clean! I'm not even unpacked yet! I have four dogs and a cat and all of their mounds of hair to deal with. I've got all the health,l etc. problems. It was never the intention for me to keep this house clean! I'm just reyng to stay on top of it enough to get by until I am unpacked! Good grief! Realizing that helped a lot, thigh it still "took the stuffing out of me for the rest of the day.
I was able to get a good amount of laundry done and general neatened. The kitchen counter is perfectly clean. I washed the sheets and the blanket for the bed and generally worked too hard, until I reached the point that I now call being tired all the way to a cellular level. I also got some work done in the dressing room whch was great. And the laundry room, which has been a disaster, is starting to come back together. I am moving the ironing board and the steamer up to the dressing room to take care of clothes in there instead of downstairs where there is really no floor room for the ironing board or anythg else.
I have a huge to-do list for tomorrow. It's kind of discouraging to realize that it is utterly impossible before the day has even begun. I do believe, though, that it can have the house basically unpacked and arranged before the end of September.
I have two long, dark hallways upstairs so I have been reading up on how to paint them. And, here's something surprising for you. The natural impulse is to use white, ivory, or other light paint to make it look bigger. But if there is very little light, all you are going to see is the shadows that are created on these colors. Instead, you should use medium tones of paint that have next to no black in them so that the little bit of light actually plays up the color. In fact, the less light there is in a space, the deeper you should go with your color. Isn't that cool! And so counter-intuitive! I haven't decided what color to use yet but, I have this idea that a soft green might be really nice and fresh, and work with all the rooms that open into it. We'll see. Long ways to go, yet, before that decision is made. As in ... DOG HAIR HAS TO BE CLEANED UP!
I'm so hungry. I hope I can go to sleep with no problem. I hope you can too. Oh, and guess what were going to do this weekend? Were going to go to one of the many New York beaches! I'm really looking forward to it! It will be a lot of fun!
Cheers!
Lisa
One step forward, five steps back! Today was a rough day. I had a pretty clear-cut anxiety attack. Those are so miserable, and it just went on and one and on. Feeling afraid, frustrated because I knew there was nothing to be afraid of and that the fear was unreasonable and irrational and that I should be able to reason my way out of it. Or just keep working and hope that it disappeared. I even took a fourth of a Xanax at one point, but it didn't help. I decided to see if there was anything online and found a site called www.anxiety coach.com. MIT was actually pretty good. He even has a form for tn to fill out, a panic attack diary. I printed off the page, but wouldn't take the time to fill it out. He has five basic steps for dealing with an attack. The first is to just be aware of it, acknowledge and accept it. This is so much like the Welcoming Prayer, so I had no problem with it. Asked to learn what I could from it. You are supposed to use these steps to gently accept it without dreaming out. The second step is to wait and watch ... and maybe work. Panic attacks will peter out on their own, especially if y don't do anything to exacerbate them. So, rather than letting the panic and fear cause you to make a run for it, instead be an observer and wait for it to end, and maybe just continue with whatever work you were doing. The next is to take whatever actions you need in order to make herself a little more comfortable until the attack subsides. He suggests things like belly breathing (I know that this triggers the sympathetic (parasympathetic?) nervous system to calm you down. And to talk to yrself assuring herself that you are actually safe. That it is not your job to "make" the attack end, but to merely observe it until it does end. And then to repeat as necessary. This is to understand that sometimes panic attacks come in waves and y may have to do the work of calming and caring for yourself all over again.
Something on the printed off form caused me to realize that what brought this on was the fear that I was not going to be able to clean my house and keep it clean and the laundry done and the groceries purchased, and the dinners made and the clothes washed and ironed and out up and the yard cleaned up behind the dogs and the trash emptied, etc. etc. when I realized that was what had caused it, I started being able to accept the emotions without freaking out so baldy. OF COURSE I am not going to be able to keep a 5000 sq ft house clean! I'm not even unpacked yet! I have four dogs and a cat and all of their mounds of hair to deal with. I've got all the health,l etc. problems. It was never the intention for me to keep this house clean! I'm just reyng to stay on top of it enough to get by until I am unpacked! Good grief! Realizing that helped a lot, thigh it still "took the stuffing out of me for the rest of the day.
I was able to get a good amount of laundry done and general neatened. The kitchen counter is perfectly clean. I washed the sheets and the blanket for the bed and generally worked too hard, until I reached the point that I now call being tired all the way to a cellular level. I also got some work done in the dressing room whch was great. And the laundry room, which has been a disaster, is starting to come back together. I am moving the ironing board and the steamer up to the dressing room to take care of clothes in there instead of downstairs where there is really no floor room for the ironing board or anythg else.
I have a huge to-do list for tomorrow. It's kind of discouraging to realize that it is utterly impossible before the day has even begun. I do believe, though, that it can have the house basically unpacked and arranged before the end of September.
I have two long, dark hallways upstairs so I have been reading up on how to paint them. And, here's something surprising for you. The natural impulse is to use white, ivory, or other light paint to make it look bigger. But if there is very little light, all you are going to see is the shadows that are created on these colors. Instead, you should use medium tones of paint that have next to no black in them so that the little bit of light actually plays up the color. In fact, the less light there is in a space, the deeper you should go with your color. Isn't that cool! And so counter-intuitive! I haven't decided what color to use yet but, I have this idea that a soft green might be really nice and fresh, and work with all the rooms that open into it. We'll see. Long ways to go, yet, before that decision is made. As in ... DOG HAIR HAS TO BE CLEANED UP!
I'm so hungry. I hope I can go to sleep with no problem. I hope you can too. Oh, and guess what were going to do this weekend? Were going to go to one of the many New York beaches! I'm really looking forward to it! It will be a lot of fun!
Cheers!
Lisa
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Day 281 - Feeling Especially Broken Today
Dear Reader,
I hate admitting weakness. I hate BEING weak. And I'm not talking physically, I'm talkinkg about emotional, psychological weakness. I run from it all the time. I hide from it behind my to-do lists. I think that if I "gut it up" ( a Texas phrase) I can do "it" ... whatever ... "it" is. I can function like a normal person and accomplish normal things. I hide and I run. Hide and run from my disorderly mind and heart and soul. I hold up incomparable role models (Beth Moore!) and say, "Why can't you be like her?!" I have the ability. I have the talent. But I don't have the strength.
I'm sure you are wondering what prompted this outpouring. Well, I saw my new psychologist for the second time today. I've been out of a counseling relationship for several months now, and I particularly chose this counselor because of her experience with trauma. So, today as she asked me questions, trying to get a better view of my history, she got close to some areas of my life that I don't like to talk about. I made the conscious decision that, if I wanted help for trauma from a trauma specialist ... I was going to have to talk about traumatic events. So, I did. It's not especially fun when you completely weird out experienced psychologists! At one point I laughed and said, "I bet you don't hear THIS kind of story every day!" She laughed as well (see why I love her!) and said, no, she sure didn't ... and she hears lots of stories!
I came away pretty shaky. I KNOW that I weathered everything in my life remarkably well. I've had numerous doctors and psychologists comment on this saying they are amazed that I didn't crack and develop a split personality. Thank God that He sustained me, even during those years when I didn't know Him!
But I want to be "normal." I want living a sustained life to quit being such hard work! Pathetic, I know. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and take hold of my day and charge into my list and accomplish things! Get my housework done, run errands, and get back to writing. I want to PUBLISH, for crying out loud! And to publish, you have to be able to work and perform and control your life and your time day after day after day. But I'll have one or two good days, and then collapse into an ineffective dithering and distractedness. Being constantly distracted is a huge problem for me. It's like my brain is aflutter with shifting thoughts and plans and ideas. I usually have twenty things on my mind at any one time. I expect that to ease up since we have moved. My life is already significantly less complicated than it was where we were before. And were heading into the new school year starting next week, and I am not inundated with a multiplicity of events! By this time I have usually planned and scheduled 15-20 events that I will host in the first few weeks, all the way down to wardrobe and flowers for the tables. So, while my brain is scrambled right now from decorating decisions, moving, and generally trying to keep a 5000 square foot house moderately clean with four dogs and a cat while cooking and grocery shopping and doing the laundry ... things WILL slow down and, hopefully, my brain will calm down and quit being so reactive.
I'm not going to go into my childhood in this blog. Aren't you happy! I'll just say that it was off the charts and leave it at that.
But the end result is that I am trying to live a normal, and actually an above-normal, life without having the foundation of wholeness that most people have. I don't think anyone has a "normal" childhood or "normal" parents, and I don't think anyone gets through life unwounded and without scars. But I also know that I am surprisingly scarred and wounded from my own past, but I won't accept the effect that has on my daily ability to perform. It's more like ... I think this is a metaphor, or maybe it's a simile. Whatever it is, try to feel what I'm trying to say. Most people live their life with their feet planted on solid ground. The solid ground is the result of a relatively good emotional foundation built for them during their early, formative years. But I don't have that foundation. There was nothing solid at all about my early years. It was all chaos. And, again, I'm going to leave it at that. The best way I can describe what my life feels like is to ask you to imagine that you are standing on layers and layers of plastic poker chips. (I swear, I can NOT think of a better example, although I know there have to be better ones!). I try to stand up and accomplish something (find an agent, polish an article, write a query letter, clean the house, do the laundry, cook a meal) and I struggle to stand on this huge pile of shifting plastic discs. I manage to get upright, though I'm working constantly to maintain my balance, and then all of a sudden one chip shifts just a bit, and then a whole pile slides out from beneath my foot and I crash to the ground again. THAT is what my life feels like and THAT is what is not acceptable to me and I want to be HEALED from this emotional woundedness that weakens me and makes me unstable and makes life so hard. Sometimes it's my body that gives way and causes the fall. I pull a tendon or my back comes out of joint or I have a major reaction or I catch the flu. Two years ago my hip bone almost came out of my socket suddenly. Crazy pain! Ten weeks of physical therapy kind of interfered with plans I had made.
When I was younger and had amnesia, I actually functioned better than I do now! Though there was still the hiding and the emotional running away from something in my psyche. I just didn't know from what I was running until it caught me and took me down and broke down the wall I built that held back the fifteen years of memories I refused to remember.
So. I am in a new place. I have far fewer social demands on me. I am away from my mother. I have a lovely home in a lovely village. I will have household help and laundry help before too much longer. And I have a good doctor and a good psychologist. So, as shaky as I feel today, I am still hopeful. Not giving in yet by any means!
Tomorrow I hope to be able to get a lot of work done in the house. It needs it badly! I have made out only a very basic to-do list.
Perhaps instead of expecting myself to function as well as someone who had a relatively normal childhood and life, I should congratulate myself when I function well at all and should accept that I've been broken and my expectations for myself must be different. While, at the same time, working towards physical and emotional wellness. That would mean no more anger at myself, something I am really working on.
That's it for today. I ate moderately well other than a large chocolate candy bar I got at a picnic today. And I got into the pool twice today, each time for around thirty minutes.
Cheers!
Lisa
I hate admitting weakness. I hate BEING weak. And I'm not talking physically, I'm talkinkg about emotional, psychological weakness. I run from it all the time. I hide from it behind my to-do lists. I think that if I "gut it up" ( a Texas phrase) I can do "it" ... whatever ... "it" is. I can function like a normal person and accomplish normal things. I hide and I run. Hide and run from my disorderly mind and heart and soul. I hold up incomparable role models (Beth Moore!) and say, "Why can't you be like her?!" I have the ability. I have the talent. But I don't have the strength.
I'm sure you are wondering what prompted this outpouring. Well, I saw my new psychologist for the second time today. I've been out of a counseling relationship for several months now, and I particularly chose this counselor because of her experience with trauma. So, today as she asked me questions, trying to get a better view of my history, she got close to some areas of my life that I don't like to talk about. I made the conscious decision that, if I wanted help for trauma from a trauma specialist ... I was going to have to talk about traumatic events. So, I did. It's not especially fun when you completely weird out experienced psychologists! At one point I laughed and said, "I bet you don't hear THIS kind of story every day!" She laughed as well (see why I love her!) and said, no, she sure didn't ... and she hears lots of stories!
I came away pretty shaky. I KNOW that I weathered everything in my life remarkably well. I've had numerous doctors and psychologists comment on this saying they are amazed that I didn't crack and develop a split personality. Thank God that He sustained me, even during those years when I didn't know Him!
But I want to be "normal." I want living a sustained life to quit being such hard work! Pathetic, I know. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and take hold of my day and charge into my list and accomplish things! Get my housework done, run errands, and get back to writing. I want to PUBLISH, for crying out loud! And to publish, you have to be able to work and perform and control your life and your time day after day after day. But I'll have one or two good days, and then collapse into an ineffective dithering and distractedness. Being constantly distracted is a huge problem for me. It's like my brain is aflutter with shifting thoughts and plans and ideas. I usually have twenty things on my mind at any one time. I expect that to ease up since we have moved. My life is already significantly less complicated than it was where we were before. And were heading into the new school year starting next week, and I am not inundated with a multiplicity of events! By this time I have usually planned and scheduled 15-20 events that I will host in the first few weeks, all the way down to wardrobe and flowers for the tables. So, while my brain is scrambled right now from decorating decisions, moving, and generally trying to keep a 5000 square foot house moderately clean with four dogs and a cat while cooking and grocery shopping and doing the laundry ... things WILL slow down and, hopefully, my brain will calm down and quit being so reactive.
I'm not going to go into my childhood in this blog. Aren't you happy! I'll just say that it was off the charts and leave it at that.
But the end result is that I am trying to live a normal, and actually an above-normal, life without having the foundation of wholeness that most people have. I don't think anyone has a "normal" childhood or "normal" parents, and I don't think anyone gets through life unwounded and without scars. But I also know that I am surprisingly scarred and wounded from my own past, but I won't accept the effect that has on my daily ability to perform. It's more like ... I think this is a metaphor, or maybe it's a simile. Whatever it is, try to feel what I'm trying to say. Most people live their life with their feet planted on solid ground. The solid ground is the result of a relatively good emotional foundation built for them during their early, formative years. But I don't have that foundation. There was nothing solid at all about my early years. It was all chaos. And, again, I'm going to leave it at that. The best way I can describe what my life feels like is to ask you to imagine that you are standing on layers and layers of plastic poker chips. (I swear, I can NOT think of a better example, although I know there have to be better ones!). I try to stand up and accomplish something (find an agent, polish an article, write a query letter, clean the house, do the laundry, cook a meal) and I struggle to stand on this huge pile of shifting plastic discs. I manage to get upright, though I'm working constantly to maintain my balance, and then all of a sudden one chip shifts just a bit, and then a whole pile slides out from beneath my foot and I crash to the ground again. THAT is what my life feels like and THAT is what is not acceptable to me and I want to be HEALED from this emotional woundedness that weakens me and makes me unstable and makes life so hard. Sometimes it's my body that gives way and causes the fall. I pull a tendon or my back comes out of joint or I have a major reaction or I catch the flu. Two years ago my hip bone almost came out of my socket suddenly. Crazy pain! Ten weeks of physical therapy kind of interfered with plans I had made.
When I was younger and had amnesia, I actually functioned better than I do now! Though there was still the hiding and the emotional running away from something in my psyche. I just didn't know from what I was running until it caught me and took me down and broke down the wall I built that held back the fifteen years of memories I refused to remember.
So. I am in a new place. I have far fewer social demands on me. I am away from my mother. I have a lovely home in a lovely village. I will have household help and laundry help before too much longer. And I have a good doctor and a good psychologist. So, as shaky as I feel today, I am still hopeful. Not giving in yet by any means!
Tomorrow I hope to be able to get a lot of work done in the house. It needs it badly! I have made out only a very basic to-do list.
Perhaps instead of expecting myself to function as well as someone who had a relatively normal childhood and life, I should congratulate myself when I function well at all and should accept that I've been broken and my expectations for myself must be different. While, at the same time, working towards physical and emotional wellness. That would mean no more anger at myself, something I am really working on.
That's it for today. I ate moderately well other than a large chocolate candy bar I got at a picnic today. And I got into the pool twice today, each time for around thirty minutes.
Cheers!
Lisa
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Day 282 - Did the ALS Challenge
Dear Reader,
I had a tremendously hard time waking up this morning. I left my iPhone downstairs so I didn't have it to set a sharp alarm and only had my very gentle alarm, so it was two and a half hrs before I woke up sufficiently to get out of bed. I didn't have time to exercise by now because I had to go straight to the nearby city to try to register my car again. No go, third time in a row. Since the bank owns the car, and not us ... my husband can't give it to me. So he HAS to come down with me to the DMV to get it registered. Bummer. And another wasted trip.
Then I got my hair colored and my bangs trimmed. Feel like I hit the jackpot with this salon. Love them there!
Then to the grocery store and made dinner. Did the ALS challenge, ate, watched two,episodes of House, cleaned the kitchen and am now in bed. It's just 10:32!
I've gone through a lot more fabrics online and need to place some orders tomorrow. I beginning to get a hold of this pink/beige/gray color scheme at last.
I was a little dismayed today when talking to my mother to learn that she knew about the black mold in her hall and didn't do anything about it. I told her that the huge swelling in my abdomen was going down and she commented on how huge it had gotten and she had never seen it get that big before. I said it just have been the black mold because there was nothing else to explain it. She said, "Oh! Don't keep bringing up the mold and making me feel guilty!" I said, "But you didn't know it was there!" And she said that, yes, she had. She hadn't looked at it for a while, deliberately, because she hadn't wanted to spend the money to get the roof fixed. But she could have had someone come in and clean up the mold quite easily and inexpensively, but just didn't, even though she knows very well that I am highly susceptible to it.
Whatcha gonna do? I know I won't go back until it has been completely cleaned up, though.
That's it for me.
Cheers!
Lisa
I had a tremendously hard time waking up this morning. I left my iPhone downstairs so I didn't have it to set a sharp alarm and only had my very gentle alarm, so it was two and a half hrs before I woke up sufficiently to get out of bed. I didn't have time to exercise by now because I had to go straight to the nearby city to try to register my car again. No go, third time in a row. Since the bank owns the car, and not us ... my husband can't give it to me. So he HAS to come down with me to the DMV to get it registered. Bummer. And another wasted trip.
Then I got my hair colored and my bangs trimmed. Feel like I hit the jackpot with this salon. Love them there!
Then to the grocery store and made dinner. Did the ALS challenge, ate, watched two,episodes of House, cleaned the kitchen and am now in bed. It's just 10:32!
I've gone through a lot more fabrics online and need to place some orders tomorrow. I beginning to get a hold of this pink/beige/gray color scheme at last.
I was a little dismayed today when talking to my mother to learn that she knew about the black mold in her hall and didn't do anything about it. I told her that the huge swelling in my abdomen was going down and she commented on how huge it had gotten and she had never seen it get that big before. I said it just have been the black mold because there was nothing else to explain it. She said, "Oh! Don't keep bringing up the mold and making me feel guilty!" I said, "But you didn't know it was there!" And she said that, yes, she had. She hadn't looked at it for a while, deliberately, because she hadn't wanted to spend the money to get the roof fixed. But she could have had someone come in and clean up the mold quite easily and inexpensively, but just didn't, even though she knows very well that I am highly susceptible to it.
Whatcha gonna do? I know I won't go back until it has been completely cleaned up, though.
That's it for me.
Cheers!
Lisa
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Day 283 - Don't You Just Love the DMV?!
Dear Reader,
Thanks for hanging in here with me for so long! You're the best! I swam again this morning. I even got my dog, Beatrice, in with me for a while, just holding her and walking around with her in my arms. She's not a fan yet, but we'll see.
I ate what I think is a fairly good breakfast: a gluten-free English muffin and a slice of veggie cheese with a cup of tea. It's not great, but it's not bad either.
I went and got my social security card ordered today. It should be here in seven days. Can't get my driver's license until I get my card ... I tried!
Then I went to get my car registered, only to find that BOTH owners have to appear and prove their identity to register a car in New York! And, only my husband's name was on the insurance card, so I've had to have it reissued with my name one it. My husband gave me the car and filled in the paper work rather than have to find a time to drive to this place with me. So, hopefully, the car will at least be registered. Then, I think I have to have it inspected, but I haven't figured that out yet.
I got to the chiropractor, which was a good thing because my right arm was starting to really hurt again. He had a hard time moving the right side of my neck today
I mad a nice salad tonight with turkey bacon, field greens, pistachios, pear, and raspberries with a.blueberry vinaigrette and a gluten-free baguette. I'm hungry again, though, darn it.
It's 11:30 and I'm sleepy and ready to turn it in for the night. My niece nominated me for the ALS ice bucket challenge, so I'll have to do that tomorrow. Poor people. It is such a terrible disease!
I'm planning on walking in the morning instead of swimming. My hat should be fun. I'm going to get on this trail I'm always complaining that I've not gotten on yet.
Cheers!
Lisa
Thanks for hanging in here with me for so long! You're the best! I swam again this morning. I even got my dog, Beatrice, in with me for a while, just holding her and walking around with her in my arms. She's not a fan yet, but we'll see.
I ate what I think is a fairly good breakfast: a gluten-free English muffin and a slice of veggie cheese with a cup of tea. It's not great, but it's not bad either.
I went and got my social security card ordered today. It should be here in seven days. Can't get my driver's license until I get my card ... I tried!
Then I went to get my car registered, only to find that BOTH owners have to appear and prove their identity to register a car in New York! And, only my husband's name was on the insurance card, so I've had to have it reissued with my name one it. My husband gave me the car and filled in the paper work rather than have to find a time to drive to this place with me. So, hopefully, the car will at least be registered. Then, I think I have to have it inspected, but I haven't figured that out yet.
I got to the chiropractor, which was a good thing because my right arm was starting to really hurt again. He had a hard time moving the right side of my neck today
I mad a nice salad tonight with turkey bacon, field greens, pistachios, pear, and raspberries with a.blueberry vinaigrette and a gluten-free baguette. I'm hungry again, though, darn it.
It's 11:30 and I'm sleepy and ready to turn it in for the night. My niece nominated me for the ALS ice bucket challenge, so I'll have to do that tomorrow. Poor people. It is such a terrible disease!
I'm planning on walking in the morning instead of swimming. My hat should be fun. I'm going to get on this trail I'm always complaining that I've not gotten on yet.
Cheers!
Lisa
Monday, August 25, 2014
Day 284 - Profitable Day
Dear Reader,
I did get up and swim. Could only do five laps doing the breast stroke, but after that, I did some water aerobic exercises and continued for thirty minutes total. I sprayed off several folding chairs that had gotten spider webs on them. Then I sprayed down some cushions that had gotten very dirty from being under a big tree, and cleaned the glass table top to my large, round wicker table. After that, I read my Bible and prayed. Then bathed, dressed, and did my makeup and hair.
I then began preparing all the forms to get a new social security number, a driver's license, car registration, and some other form so we don't have to pay taxes. I had to call our New York insurance agent to get an authorization saying that we do have insurance. It took forever! But I now know how much my Terrain ways!
Then I left and drove to a city to get all this done, only to find that the offices close at 3:00 every day except Wednesday ... when they close at noon!
I'll be taking care of this tomorrow.
I made grilled cheese sandwiches and made a Paleo tomato soup for dinner that turned out delicious! I used gluten-free bread and Go Veggie cheese slices and ... it was really quite good! Then after dinner, we went for a walk around the block.
I hoped to go to the chiropractor today because the pain in my right arm and shoulder has been building up each day and is pretty severe now, but I didn't have time. Definitely have to MAKE time tomorrow.
That's it till tomorrow!
Cheers!
Lisa
I did get up and swim. Could only do five laps doing the breast stroke, but after that, I did some water aerobic exercises and continued for thirty minutes total. I sprayed off several folding chairs that had gotten spider webs on them. Then I sprayed down some cushions that had gotten very dirty from being under a big tree, and cleaned the glass table top to my large, round wicker table. After that, I read my Bible and prayed. Then bathed, dressed, and did my makeup and hair.
I then began preparing all the forms to get a new social security number, a driver's license, car registration, and some other form so we don't have to pay taxes. I had to call our New York insurance agent to get an authorization saying that we do have insurance. It took forever! But I now know how much my Terrain ways!
Then I left and drove to a city to get all this done, only to find that the offices close at 3:00 every day except Wednesday ... when they close at noon!
I'll be taking care of this tomorrow.
I made grilled cheese sandwiches and made a Paleo tomato soup for dinner that turned out delicious! I used gluten-free bread and Go Veggie cheese slices and ... it was really quite good! Then after dinner, we went for a walk around the block.
I hoped to go to the chiropractor today because the pain in my right arm and shoulder has been building up each day and is pretty severe now, but I didn't have time. Definitely have to MAKE time tomorrow.
That's it till tomorrow!
Cheers!
Lisa
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Day 285 - Back Home!
Dear Reader,
I am back home after spending several days with my mother. Overall I would say the trip was a success. I didn't have internet while I was there, which was horrible! And I couldn't figure out how to access the blog on my iPhone, so I will just cover the highlights.
I did get the saline prolotherapy ... first and last time. The pain was horrible!! Far worse than it is with the sugar solution. My kids went with me and then we went out to eat and had a nice visit. I think my son has a new job he may be starting tomorrow.
My mother had her 91st birthday. My son came down to go to lunch with us, and my daughter came down to go to dinner with us. My mother suggested Noodles for dinner. There's virtually noting in this town but chain restaurants. But, while we were there, she had a sudden anxiety attack ... worst one I've seen her have in a long time. She suddenly just kind of freaked out over it being noisy and said she couldn't hear what the people taking our order were sayings. And then she kind of freaked to over the fancy Coke machine because she kept touching it wrong and couldn't get the coke flavor she wanted. My daughter and I got her to a table away from every one and talked her down. She was shaking really bad from the big cortisol and adrenaline rush, but recovered after a while.
My daughter had asked if I would buy her some new makeup because she was out of everything. I was happy to do this because she has.not been taking good care of herself and had almost quit wearing makeup. I was also glad to because I think her boyfriend doesn't want her to wear makeup ... so I wanted to get her back into wearing it. She actually let me teach her some things about makeup and let me find the things she needed. Happily, my mother beat me to the punch and bought the items while I was looking for shampoo.
I got to go with my mother to see my husband's oil portrait that has been painted and hung along with the past presidents of the university. It is FANTASTIC!!! So proud of him! Then we met with the new president and saw how she had changed the house. She has it decorated very somberly and seriously. Sage greens and blacks, etc. it's very nice, but I think it is much too contemporary of a look for an 1878 house. I don't think it's as warm and inviting as how I had it ... personally! But she is SO nice and we had a great visit.
I met my kids in Nashville on another day. My mother was going to come with me, but got to feeling unwell and I had to take her back home. We went to a guitar shop and I got our son his birthday present. Then we went to a very funky Mexican restaurant for dinner. He has written a song and played me a recording and ... I am telling you completely honestly ... it is TRULY WONDERFUL! I loved it!
My daughter and I then went to a new bath products store called Lush and had a nice time shopping there. We went to the coffee shop outside of Nordstrom for me to have some coffee with espresso before I tried to drive home. I was really tired! I didn't get much sleep while I was there.
My mother has a leak in her roof that she has known about, but didn't want to spend the money on getting it repaired. She keeps the lights out in her house except for the room she is in ... so I don't think she had turned her hall light on for quite a while. So ... when I turned it on, I was horrified to see black mold growing through the ceiling and all along the top six inches of the wall for a good fifteen feet! About 2% of the population have the gene that makes them especially susceptible to black mold and I am, of course, in that 2%! I knew I was super swollen up, and I guess that exposure is the reason why. I also had a big bunch of taste buds drop off my tongue after I ate something, this is called geographic tongue and it is related to allergies. And then today my left ear actually swelled shut! I tried to out headphones on in the plane, but the left one hurt really badly. I took the headphones off and felt my ear and it was actually shut!
That's it for now. It's good to be back.
Cheers!
Liss
I am back home after spending several days with my mother. Overall I would say the trip was a success. I didn't have internet while I was there, which was horrible! And I couldn't figure out how to access the blog on my iPhone, so I will just cover the highlights.
I did get the saline prolotherapy ... first and last time. The pain was horrible!! Far worse than it is with the sugar solution. My kids went with me and then we went out to eat and had a nice visit. I think my son has a new job he may be starting tomorrow.
My mother had her 91st birthday. My son came down to go to lunch with us, and my daughter came down to go to dinner with us. My mother suggested Noodles for dinner. There's virtually noting in this town but chain restaurants. But, while we were there, she had a sudden anxiety attack ... worst one I've seen her have in a long time. She suddenly just kind of freaked out over it being noisy and said she couldn't hear what the people taking our order were sayings. And then she kind of freaked to over the fancy Coke machine because she kept touching it wrong and couldn't get the coke flavor she wanted. My daughter and I got her to a table away from every one and talked her down. She was shaking really bad from the big cortisol and adrenaline rush, but recovered after a while.
My daughter had asked if I would buy her some new makeup because she was out of everything. I was happy to do this because she has.not been taking good care of herself and had almost quit wearing makeup. I was also glad to because I think her boyfriend doesn't want her to wear makeup ... so I wanted to get her back into wearing it. She actually let me teach her some things about makeup and let me find the things she needed. Happily, my mother beat me to the punch and bought the items while I was looking for shampoo.
I got to go with my mother to see my husband's oil portrait that has been painted and hung along with the past presidents of the university. It is FANTASTIC!!! So proud of him! Then we met with the new president and saw how she had changed the house. She has it decorated very somberly and seriously. Sage greens and blacks, etc. it's very nice, but I think it is much too contemporary of a look for an 1878 house. I don't think it's as warm and inviting as how I had it ... personally! But she is SO nice and we had a great visit.
I met my kids in Nashville on another day. My mother was going to come with me, but got to feeling unwell and I had to take her back home. We went to a guitar shop and I got our son his birthday present. Then we went to a very funky Mexican restaurant for dinner. He has written a song and played me a recording and ... I am telling you completely honestly ... it is TRULY WONDERFUL! I loved it!
My daughter and I then went to a new bath products store called Lush and had a nice time shopping there. We went to the coffee shop outside of Nordstrom for me to have some coffee with espresso before I tried to drive home. I was really tired! I didn't get much sleep while I was there.
My mother has a leak in her roof that she has known about, but didn't want to spend the money on getting it repaired. She keeps the lights out in her house except for the room she is in ... so I don't think she had turned her hall light on for quite a while. So ... when I turned it on, I was horrified to see black mold growing through the ceiling and all along the top six inches of the wall for a good fifteen feet! About 2% of the population have the gene that makes them especially susceptible to black mold and I am, of course, in that 2%! I knew I was super swollen up, and I guess that exposure is the reason why. I also had a big bunch of taste buds drop off my tongue after I ate something, this is called geographic tongue and it is related to allergies. And then today my left ear actually swelled shut! I tried to out headphones on in the plane, but the left one hurt really badly. I took the headphones off and felt my ear and it was actually shut!
That's it for now. It's good to be back.
Cheers!
Liss
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