Dear Friend,
Well, sure enough, today was a better day. Our sion went to sleep around noon since he was going to drive through the night, and our daughter left for work about the same time. So I had a good five hrs to get my work done. From time to time I would stop and write down on my pad, "Evaluation without Condemnation" on which I would look over the past two or three hours and write how they had gone, where I was flagging, where I was making progress. It took forever to get our bedroom and bathroom cleaned! I worked pretty diligently and got a lot of laundry done and the kitchen and den picked up. So, the house is pretty much ready for the cleaning company to come in tomorrow.
I'm excited a out the direction I'm heading with looking to decorate the downstairs den. I also need some art for the foyer. I did my exercises today and was able to do more , with less soreness afterwards, I even got out my arm weights and do some arm exercised as well.
Fixed a tolerably healthy dinner and then our son got on the road and will bed rioting though the night. L
It nk I have foun what I want to do to lose weight. To tired to go into it right now, though. So maybe tomorrow.
Cheers,
Lisa
P.S. I've decided to focus on two skill sets: waking and getting up in the mornings,and going to sleep at night. More tomorrow.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Day 49 - Fresh Hope!
Dear Friend,
We went to church this morning, so ... YAY! I wanted to stay in bed and sleep and came up with several excuses why it was okay to sleep in this one more week. But then my husband came in with coffee and he was already dressed to go. So I had about 15 minutes to throw on some clothes and get ready and go. And I'm really, really glad I did.
At the first of the service, three people, including the minister, got up and blessed the women there. Now this is all new territory for me ... but it was really meaningful and I got a lot out of it. Then the sermon was about Pentecost, he's been doing a sermon series about the Holy Spirit. And then at the end, some couples went to the front of the church to pray for you if you needed prayer. One of the couples included the woman who had given a blessing that was especially something I needed to hear. So you can bet that I was up and out of my seat and went to them to ask for prayer. She was just lovely. I told her that I was just dry. I had had no fellowship for such a long time and was dry and defeated. She and her husband both prayed for me and, I can't really remember what they said too much, but it was just what I needed.
I went back to our owe and was thinking about it all and realized that it is my heart that has been defeated. I'm not depressed and overwhelmed because of my health and having too much to do. I am depressed and overwhelmed by these things because my heart has been defeated and had lost hope. These prayers don't change my work load or any of the challenges in my life. But I feel like I can approach them with a heart that is no longer hopeless.
The verse that the pastor used as the blessing he offered to the women was from the psalm where the author writes, "The King is enthralled with your beauty." This was written as a psalm for Solomon when he married the woman from Egypt ... the first of his many mistakes, but I digress, he asked us to receive this as from The Lord, that He sees us fully and truly and He is enthralled with our beauty. This really meant so much to me, to freshly realize that God loves me and sees me and delights in me. I kept having this image in my mind of Jesus standing in the stormy Sea of Galilee with His arms stretched out and me leaping from the boat and running so fast to Him that p, unlike Peter, I couldn't sink because I wasn't even aware of the wind and the waves. All I wanted was HIM.
So it was a lovely service and really ministered to me so much. They are having a conference next weekend and I planning on going.
We picked up the kids and our daughter took us it to eat at our favorite sushi restaurant. Only problem was that her card was declined!! She swears she has the money in her account, but it was just so funny.
The umbrellas I ordered got in. I got one of them set up on the patio and it looks great! Best $33 ever spent!
For dinner, we went to a seafood restaurant right on the water on the other side of the river. It was open air and really great! And, we got to enjoy it for a LONG, LONG, LONG TIME! Two hours and fifteen minutes long, to be exact. How does this happen to us so often?? Our food didn't come and didn't come. I had to ask the waitress's to check on it. She said the kitchen was backed up and we waited and waited and it was just kind of ridiculous. The charm declined steadily thought the evening! But we had a really great visit and laughed hysterically over lots of things. My husband and son ordered the three-berry cobbler with vanilla ice cream. Sounds good, huh? But, what they got was frozen berries with some sort of cold piece of biscuit on top of it in a large glass with a scoop of whipped cream!
My mother had a terrible day. She has leu risky and the pain was so bad that she couldn't get enough air and had to call for an ambulance to take her to the ER. We had a lot of problems because she was in too much pain to take her prescriptions in to the pharmacy. So I got hold of two of her neighbors who went over and took care of her. And then they found out that the doctor didn't GIVE HER the pain medicine prescription! When he called the ER, they rudely told him that she was just going to have to come back in to pick up the prescription no matter what kind of pain she was in!!! Long story short, she's doing better now and is going to call and try to get in to see her own doctor in the morning and one of the neighbors is going to take her. She has three very kind neighbors who have told me over and over to count in them to help in any way they can and they really showed up today!
My niece has just gone crazy. My sin and daughter both listened to the voice mail she left and apparently she just went completely off and said I was a liar and I had threatened her and her father and apparently is "threatening" me that she is going to post everything I said on her Facebook page and tag me so they'll show up in my Facebook page. Now, mind you, this gal is FORTY! Not FOURTEEN! So I'm, like ... what???! You're going to post me saying please don't get involved in this, this is between me and my brother and I don't want my relationship with her getting caught up in it and I wasn't going to discuss it anymore with her. Yea, well, that's certainly putting the fear of God in me!!! What in the world can she possibly be thinking? It's so incredibly irrational. One thing, and I have to keep reminding myself about this, but there are a lot of not-normal people in the world! Sociopaths, psychopaths, borderline personality disorders, histrionic disorders, narcissistic disorders, etc., etc. So, she may actually BE crazy, and not just acting crazy! I told my daughter that I'm beginning to think that my branch of the family tree is actually the LEAST crazy branch! And, incidentally, I would use italics and not all caps for emphasis, except I don't know how to do that without going back to the top of the page for each word and selecting italics. Not happening.
And, she sent me an email, too! Both kids read it. I haven't read it or listened to her voice mail yet. I know I'm going to have to deal with this now since they are apparently going into lala land and he owns lots and lots of guns! I joked with my kids that I didn't want to cut them off completely because I may need a kidney some day. My son had just finished reading the email and he said, "Oh ... I don't think you're going to be getting a kidney from either of them!" It was so funny!! He has impeccable delivery! I about died laughing. So that's going to be a wearisome task for tomorrow. Later in the day I had to send an email. I deleted a bunch of emails and then hers popped up. I didn't look at it but I saw the preview which said, "You have lost it! I don't know who you think you're talking to, but" ... and that where it cuts off. Fun fun. Sorry, chica. I have had to deal with too many crazy people in my life and I am not wasting any emotional energy on this one! My brothers broke my heart and I cried for something like two or three weeks. I am so over it now. (I hope! Dear God, I hope they don't have any other way of hurting me more than they already have!)
So, here I am, facing a new week. Nothing has changed. Nothing will be easier and I don't have less to do than I had at the start of the day. But I have a little kernel of hope planted in me now and I think it will gain hold and change ME, not my circumstances. And I surely do need a lot of changing.
Have a great week!
Cheers!
Lisa
We went to church this morning, so ... YAY! I wanted to stay in bed and sleep and came up with several excuses why it was okay to sleep in this one more week. But then my husband came in with coffee and he was already dressed to go. So I had about 15 minutes to throw on some clothes and get ready and go. And I'm really, really glad I did.
At the first of the service, three people, including the minister, got up and blessed the women there. Now this is all new territory for me ... but it was really meaningful and I got a lot out of it. Then the sermon was about Pentecost, he's been doing a sermon series about the Holy Spirit. And then at the end, some couples went to the front of the church to pray for you if you needed prayer. One of the couples included the woman who had given a blessing that was especially something I needed to hear. So you can bet that I was up and out of my seat and went to them to ask for prayer. She was just lovely. I told her that I was just dry. I had had no fellowship for such a long time and was dry and defeated. She and her husband both prayed for me and, I can't really remember what they said too much, but it was just what I needed.
I went back to our owe and was thinking about it all and realized that it is my heart that has been defeated. I'm not depressed and overwhelmed because of my health and having too much to do. I am depressed and overwhelmed by these things because my heart has been defeated and had lost hope. These prayers don't change my work load or any of the challenges in my life. But I feel like I can approach them with a heart that is no longer hopeless.
The verse that the pastor used as the blessing he offered to the women was from the psalm where the author writes, "The King is enthralled with your beauty." This was written as a psalm for Solomon when he married the woman from Egypt ... the first of his many mistakes, but I digress, he asked us to receive this as from The Lord, that He sees us fully and truly and He is enthralled with our beauty. This really meant so much to me, to freshly realize that God loves me and sees me and delights in me. I kept having this image in my mind of Jesus standing in the stormy Sea of Galilee with His arms stretched out and me leaping from the boat and running so fast to Him that p, unlike Peter, I couldn't sink because I wasn't even aware of the wind and the waves. All I wanted was HIM.
So it was a lovely service and really ministered to me so much. They are having a conference next weekend and I planning on going.
We picked up the kids and our daughter took us it to eat at our favorite sushi restaurant. Only problem was that her card was declined!! She swears she has the money in her account, but it was just so funny.
The umbrellas I ordered got in. I got one of them set up on the patio and it looks great! Best $33 ever spent!
For dinner, we went to a seafood restaurant right on the water on the other side of the river. It was open air and really great! And, we got to enjoy it for a LONG, LONG, LONG TIME! Two hours and fifteen minutes long, to be exact. How does this happen to us so often?? Our food didn't come and didn't come. I had to ask the waitress's to check on it. She said the kitchen was backed up and we waited and waited and it was just kind of ridiculous. The charm declined steadily thought the evening! But we had a really great visit and laughed hysterically over lots of things. My husband and son ordered the three-berry cobbler with vanilla ice cream. Sounds good, huh? But, what they got was frozen berries with some sort of cold piece of biscuit on top of it in a large glass with a scoop of whipped cream!
My mother had a terrible day. She has leu risky and the pain was so bad that she couldn't get enough air and had to call for an ambulance to take her to the ER. We had a lot of problems because she was in too much pain to take her prescriptions in to the pharmacy. So I got hold of two of her neighbors who went over and took care of her. And then they found out that the doctor didn't GIVE HER the pain medicine prescription! When he called the ER, they rudely told him that she was just going to have to come back in to pick up the prescription no matter what kind of pain she was in!!! Long story short, she's doing better now and is going to call and try to get in to see her own doctor in the morning and one of the neighbors is going to take her. She has three very kind neighbors who have told me over and over to count in them to help in any way they can and they really showed up today!
My niece has just gone crazy. My sin and daughter both listened to the voice mail she left and apparently she just went completely off and said I was a liar and I had threatened her and her father and apparently is "threatening" me that she is going to post everything I said on her Facebook page and tag me so they'll show up in my Facebook page. Now, mind you, this gal is FORTY! Not FOURTEEN! So I'm, like ... what???! You're going to post me saying please don't get involved in this, this is between me and my brother and I don't want my relationship with her getting caught up in it and I wasn't going to discuss it anymore with her. Yea, well, that's certainly putting the fear of God in me!!! What in the world can she possibly be thinking? It's so incredibly irrational. One thing, and I have to keep reminding myself about this, but there are a lot of not-normal people in the world! Sociopaths, psychopaths, borderline personality disorders, histrionic disorders, narcissistic disorders, etc., etc. So, she may actually BE crazy, and not just acting crazy! I told my daughter that I'm beginning to think that my branch of the family tree is actually the LEAST crazy branch! And, incidentally, I would use italics and not all caps for emphasis, except I don't know how to do that without going back to the top of the page for each word and selecting italics. Not happening.
And, she sent me an email, too! Both kids read it. I haven't read it or listened to her voice mail yet. I know I'm going to have to deal with this now since they are apparently going into lala land and he owns lots and lots of guns! I joked with my kids that I didn't want to cut them off completely because I may need a kidney some day. My son had just finished reading the email and he said, "Oh ... I don't think you're going to be getting a kidney from either of them!" It was so funny!! He has impeccable delivery! I about died laughing. So that's going to be a wearisome task for tomorrow. Later in the day I had to send an email. I deleted a bunch of emails and then hers popped up. I didn't look at it but I saw the preview which said, "You have lost it! I don't know who you think you're talking to, but" ... and that where it cuts off. Fun fun. Sorry, chica. I have had to deal with too many crazy people in my life and I am not wasting any emotional energy on this one! My brothers broke my heart and I cried for something like two or three weeks. I am so over it now. (I hope! Dear God, I hope they don't have any other way of hurting me more than they already have!)
So, here I am, facing a new week. Nothing has changed. Nothing will be easier and I don't have less to do than I had at the start of the day. But I have a little kernel of hope planted in me now and I think it will gain hold and change ME, not my circumstances. And I surely do need a lot of changing.
Have a great week!
Cheers!
Lisa
Day 50 - So ... How DO You Change Your Life and Your Self?
Dear Friend,
I'm sure you see the days ticking away as much as I do, and I haven't exactly changed my life, have I? In fact, I'm less in control of my life now than I was before. I know ... big move, big change, lots and lots of stress, loss of friends and support, crappy health, easily intimidated, full of self-doubt, still dealing with a lot of trauma, plagued with anxiety, entertaining all the time, no household help, old house, lots of problems, blah, blah, blah.
But I WANT TO BE A BETTER PERSON. I WANT TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE.
But I'm so exhausted all the time and so overwhelmed until I just almost don't care anymore. At the big event on Wednesday, the dinner was served and I realized that I had made no arrangements to have a meal I could safely eat. And, when they served me, I saw that it was a large piece of beef. And you know what my first thought was? I just don't care anymore. I'm going to eat it and see what happens. I should tell you that the last time I had beef I landed in the emergency room at a hospital in England for several long hours while they tried to control a crazy reaction. It started with massive hives all over my body. Terrible! But then, my entire body started swelling. My hives stretched out into large, flat, white circles on my body and the rest of the skin turned bright red. It was six hours before they got the reaction stopped. I don't even know what was going on, it was so crazy.
So, when I almost decided to eat a big steak, that just shows how really worn out I am with dealing with all of this.
I'll have a good day where I'm able to wake up pretty well, and do a good amount of work during the day and push the ball along a little bit further. But then, I am exhausted for the next one or two days and everything falls back apart.
I know the solution is out there! I know if I can devise the perfect schedule, I can finish unpacking this house! I can finish decorating it and be able to keep the laundry clean and maybe even be able to do the ironing. If I can find the right schedule, get my sleeping habits organized and quit eating sugar, I can lose weight and get healthy and get back to moving towards my goals.
I can do this!! But each day ... I am defeated in my efforts in one way or another; and most often, defeated by myself. Until now, I just feel like a failure. Correction. A hopeless failure. Even more accurately, an exhausted, hopeless failure.
I'm starting to feel separated from God. I don't have joy anymore. I know it's because I haven't had fellowship with other believers in so long now. Mother used to give the illustration of the church being all these glowing embers, together, that create a flame. But if one ember gets pulled away from the others, it will grow cold and die out. I feel like I'm that ember!
Our son has been here for a visit and his presence seems to bring out the worst in our daughter and she starts being rude and disrespectful towards me. And then tonight, we were waiting for him to come down and go out to dinner with us, when he just let us know through the door that he wasn't coming and was going to take a nap. And he's stayed in his room the entire evening.
This stuff with one of my brothers has stirred back up in the most bizarre way. I posted a video of a black man that I found on TED. He starts off just talking about giving up speech for lent one time and moved into a rap-type poem about the danger of being silent. It was awesome! He takes about a gay student being beaten up and him staying silent. A woman congratulating him for teaching the not very smart students, and him staying quiet, and a few other things like that. All a out prejudice and injustice and his determination to not be silent anymore. It was FINE!!
So, my mother, who still doesn't have Facebook down too well, commented on the presentation on her page and then said that this was what my brother was doing with the insulting, mocking things he is STILL putting on his Facebook page. That he was "standing up." I responded that I completely disagreed. This man is talking about speaking up against injustice, while my brother is mocking and demeaning other people who disagree with him about politics. The -- OUT OF THE BLUE -- my niece pops up and writes this long thing about how he's not being mean, he's just holding up a mirror so people can see themselves and try to change for the better.
I responded that that is not what he is doing, what he is doing is ridiculing other people, and included some verses about how your speech should be beneficial to the hearer, etc. So she writes back a TIRADE about how she was apparently too "gentle" in her first comment and she wouldn't make that mistake again and on and on about how I am WRONG. And goes off on me!
Sol I tell her that to is between me and my brother and does not involve her and she is butting into a conversation that she has not been invited to participate in and to keep the hell out of it! That she is not helping anything, she is only making things worse. It didn't involve her, she didn't know all that had happened, and I didn't want to get out relationship caught up in this.
She responded rudely, and just seemed to be out of control emotionally, and said she was going to email me. I told her it seemed that she was determined to start a fight and I wasn't going to do that. Please don't write anything further because our dialogue was over.
Well, were in a restaurant and I immediately get a phone call from her! I just pushed the button to disconnect so she would know I was disconnecting her. She called right back immediately and has left two voicemails in my phone. I may have my daughter listen to them tomorrow and I am not checking my email. I blocked her in Facebook. If she's going to go out of control like that, she's not going to have access to my page anymore.
Then, as I was getting ready for bed, I found that my daughter had written a whopper of a response to her telling her that she's the one who started the problem by butting into a conversation between me and my mother that she didn't know anything about. Shazam! Not to be outdone, however, the niece wrote back insulting my daughter and saying that she is a "child" and doesn't know anything and should stay out of the adults' conversation!!
It was just crazy and very disheartening. I saw a few minutes ago that she has gone I and removed all her posts. So ... I think the phrase I'm looking for to describe my family is "bat-shit crazy"!
I need a punching bag. We used to have one and, so often I want to out on some gloves and just punch away in a bag to get out some frustration. Seriously considering buying one!
Happy Mother's Day tomorrow, if you're a mother. Happy Guilt Day if you are an adult child of a mother!
Cheers!
Lisa
P.S. Oh. By the way, I sat outside for a good while this morning with no discomfort at all. Yay!
I'm sure you see the days ticking away as much as I do, and I haven't exactly changed my life, have I? In fact, I'm less in control of my life now than I was before. I know ... big move, big change, lots and lots of stress, loss of friends and support, crappy health, easily intimidated, full of self-doubt, still dealing with a lot of trauma, plagued with anxiety, entertaining all the time, no household help, old house, lots of problems, blah, blah, blah.
But I WANT TO BE A BETTER PERSON. I WANT TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE.
But I'm so exhausted all the time and so overwhelmed until I just almost don't care anymore. At the big event on Wednesday, the dinner was served and I realized that I had made no arrangements to have a meal I could safely eat. And, when they served me, I saw that it was a large piece of beef. And you know what my first thought was? I just don't care anymore. I'm going to eat it and see what happens. I should tell you that the last time I had beef I landed in the emergency room at a hospital in England for several long hours while they tried to control a crazy reaction. It started with massive hives all over my body. Terrible! But then, my entire body started swelling. My hives stretched out into large, flat, white circles on my body and the rest of the skin turned bright red. It was six hours before they got the reaction stopped. I don't even know what was going on, it was so crazy.
So, when I almost decided to eat a big steak, that just shows how really worn out I am with dealing with all of this.
I'll have a good day where I'm able to wake up pretty well, and do a good amount of work during the day and push the ball along a little bit further. But then, I am exhausted for the next one or two days and everything falls back apart.
I know the solution is out there! I know if I can devise the perfect schedule, I can finish unpacking this house! I can finish decorating it and be able to keep the laundry clean and maybe even be able to do the ironing. If I can find the right schedule, get my sleeping habits organized and quit eating sugar, I can lose weight and get healthy and get back to moving towards my goals.
I can do this!! But each day ... I am defeated in my efforts in one way or another; and most often, defeated by myself. Until now, I just feel like a failure. Correction. A hopeless failure. Even more accurately, an exhausted, hopeless failure.
I'm starting to feel separated from God. I don't have joy anymore. I know it's because I haven't had fellowship with other believers in so long now. Mother used to give the illustration of the church being all these glowing embers, together, that create a flame. But if one ember gets pulled away from the others, it will grow cold and die out. I feel like I'm that ember!
Our son has been here for a visit and his presence seems to bring out the worst in our daughter and she starts being rude and disrespectful towards me. And then tonight, we were waiting for him to come down and go out to dinner with us, when he just let us know through the door that he wasn't coming and was going to take a nap. And he's stayed in his room the entire evening.
This stuff with one of my brothers has stirred back up in the most bizarre way. I posted a video of a black man that I found on TED. He starts off just talking about giving up speech for lent one time and moved into a rap-type poem about the danger of being silent. It was awesome! He takes about a gay student being beaten up and him staying silent. A woman congratulating him for teaching the not very smart students, and him staying quiet, and a few other things like that. All a out prejudice and injustice and his determination to not be silent anymore. It was FINE!!
So, my mother, who still doesn't have Facebook down too well, commented on the presentation on her page and then said that this was what my brother was doing with the insulting, mocking things he is STILL putting on his Facebook page. That he was "standing up." I responded that I completely disagreed. This man is talking about speaking up against injustice, while my brother is mocking and demeaning other people who disagree with him about politics. The -- OUT OF THE BLUE -- my niece pops up and writes this long thing about how he's not being mean, he's just holding up a mirror so people can see themselves and try to change for the better.
I responded that that is not what he is doing, what he is doing is ridiculing other people, and included some verses about how your speech should be beneficial to the hearer, etc. So she writes back a TIRADE about how she was apparently too "gentle" in her first comment and she wouldn't make that mistake again and on and on about how I am WRONG. And goes off on me!
Sol I tell her that to is between me and my brother and does not involve her and she is butting into a conversation that she has not been invited to participate in and to keep the hell out of it! That she is not helping anything, she is only making things worse. It didn't involve her, she didn't know all that had happened, and I didn't want to get out relationship caught up in this.
She responded rudely, and just seemed to be out of control emotionally, and said she was going to email me. I told her it seemed that she was determined to start a fight and I wasn't going to do that. Please don't write anything further because our dialogue was over.
Well, were in a restaurant and I immediately get a phone call from her! I just pushed the button to disconnect so she would know I was disconnecting her. She called right back immediately and has left two voicemails in my phone. I may have my daughter listen to them tomorrow and I am not checking my email. I blocked her in Facebook. If she's going to go out of control like that, she's not going to have access to my page anymore.
Then, as I was getting ready for bed, I found that my daughter had written a whopper of a response to her telling her that she's the one who started the problem by butting into a conversation between me and my mother that she didn't know anything about. Shazam! Not to be outdone, however, the niece wrote back insulting my daughter and saying that she is a "child" and doesn't know anything and should stay out of the adults' conversation!!
It was just crazy and very disheartening. I saw a few minutes ago that she has gone I and removed all her posts. So ... I think the phrase I'm looking for to describe my family is "bat-shit crazy"!
I need a punching bag. We used to have one and, so often I want to out on some gloves and just punch away in a bag to get out some frustration. Seriously considering buying one!
Happy Mother's Day tomorrow, if you're a mother. Happy Guilt Day if you are an adult child of a mother!
Cheers!
Lisa
P.S. Oh. By the way, I sat outside for a good while this morning with no discomfort at all. Yay!
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Day 54 - Too Zonked to Do Much
Dear Friend,
Well, I seem to have one good day and then on exhausted day. But, hey! That's better than it used to be! I had the whole day mapped out, but woke up simply exhausted.
First, the landscape people came and completely removed the huge wisteria vines on the pergola. The base of one of them is twelve inches across! He said he was once called to cut down a wisteria that had grown into a tree and was bat two and a half feet across. Then first set of house cleaners came to clean the first floor. Then the rental company came to get their chairs. Then a different group of housekeepers came to clean the second floor. Then the dry cleaners came to drop off and pick up clothes. Then the facilities folks came to take away the folding tables and out all the furniture in place. So I was kept running most of the day. I did get a couple of loads of clothes washed and did a lot,of arranging of things on a closet that is mostly my husband's casual clothes and removing a lot of winter clothes and bringing out a lot of summer clothes. So the day wasn't a total waste at least.
I'm sorry to say that I got a new zombie novel that is great and I read it most of the day! I downloaded the second book and have been reading it this evening. I kept waiting for everyone to leave so I could go outside to pray and read my Bible, but the next group kept showing up. I finally had to just give up and go to bed. I had hoped to stay awake all day, but couldn't make it.
I think I slept two hours before my husband came home. He decided for us to go pick u our daughter at the train and go get Mexican food. We found a place in Yniers and had an absolutely MISERABLE time! They had a woman singing, and she had a very good voice. But she was singing loud enough for an arena!! We could not hear each other at all and were having to yell at each other. Our food didn't come and didn't come. We had to talk to three people before someone finally brought us our food after almost an hour. I was so close to LOSING IT!! No one ever refilled my water glass and the waitress took away my margarita before I had completely finished it! Never, ever, again!!
We got home and I said, "FRIENDS! Now!!" So my husband and I sat down to watch one, which turned into three. We usually watch two, but this time, my Jack Russell came walking near the couch and I grabbed her up, and she let me hod her and pet her for quite a while. So, after the second show ended, my husband sweetly started a third one just sons could hold my dog some more. She got down after awhile, but then came back and I picked her up again and laid her on my stomach and pet her for an even longer time. I was so happy to get to do this. It's been a few years now that she has been completely uninterested in any of us. She used to sit by me in my armchair in my study while I read or prayed, but she had gotten where she wouldn't even do that anymore. So this was just great!! She's 16 and almost completely deaf, almost completely blind and completely incontinent!! She left so much poop on the kitchen floor last night that I think she only weighed half her usual weight this morning!
It's almost 1:30 now and I've got to hop in the tub to bathe. I'll have to read my Bible on my iPad while I'm in there and then hopefully be able to go to sleep.
I was very sore from exercising yesterday. Too exhausted to do any today, so I decided that every other day might be enough for right now.
Cheers!
Lisa
Well, I seem to have one good day and then on exhausted day. But, hey! That's better than it used to be! I had the whole day mapped out, but woke up simply exhausted.
First, the landscape people came and completely removed the huge wisteria vines on the pergola. The base of one of them is twelve inches across! He said he was once called to cut down a wisteria that had grown into a tree and was bat two and a half feet across. Then first set of house cleaners came to clean the first floor. Then the rental company came to get their chairs. Then a different group of housekeepers came to clean the second floor. Then the dry cleaners came to drop off and pick up clothes. Then the facilities folks came to take away the folding tables and out all the furniture in place. So I was kept running most of the day. I did get a couple of loads of clothes washed and did a lot,of arranging of things on a closet that is mostly my husband's casual clothes and removing a lot of winter clothes and bringing out a lot of summer clothes. So the day wasn't a total waste at least.
I'm sorry to say that I got a new zombie novel that is great and I read it most of the day! I downloaded the second book and have been reading it this evening. I kept waiting for everyone to leave so I could go outside to pray and read my Bible, but the next group kept showing up. I finally had to just give up and go to bed. I had hoped to stay awake all day, but couldn't make it.
I think I slept two hours before my husband came home. He decided for us to go pick u our daughter at the train and go get Mexican food. We found a place in Yniers and had an absolutely MISERABLE time! They had a woman singing, and she had a very good voice. But she was singing loud enough for an arena!! We could not hear each other at all and were having to yell at each other. Our food didn't come and didn't come. We had to talk to three people before someone finally brought us our food after almost an hour. I was so close to LOSING IT!! No one ever refilled my water glass and the waitress took away my margarita before I had completely finished it! Never, ever, again!!
We got home and I said, "FRIENDS! Now!!" So my husband and I sat down to watch one, which turned into three. We usually watch two, but this time, my Jack Russell came walking near the couch and I grabbed her up, and she let me hod her and pet her for quite a while. So, after the second show ended, my husband sweetly started a third one just sons could hold my dog some more. She got down after awhile, but then came back and I picked her up again and laid her on my stomach and pet her for an even longer time. I was so happy to get to do this. It's been a few years now that she has been completely uninterested in any of us. She used to sit by me in my armchair in my study while I read or prayed, but she had gotten where she wouldn't even do that anymore. So this was just great!! She's 16 and almost completely deaf, almost completely blind and completely incontinent!! She left so much poop on the kitchen floor last night that I think she only weighed half her usual weight this morning!
It's almost 1:30 now and I've got to hop in the tub to bathe. I'll have to read my Bible on my iPad while I'm in there and then hopefully be able to go to sleep.
I was very sore from exercising yesterday. Too exhausted to do any today, so I decided that every other day might be enough for right now.
Cheers!
Lisa
Monday, May 4, 2015
Day 55 - Dinner for 21 and Power Went Out!
Dear Friend,
This will be really short and sweet because I am exhausted! I wasn't able to go to sleep until after 4:00 am AGAIN!! I hadn't had any Klonopin for a few days, so I guess that's why the Xanax had no effect on me whatsoever. I had to get on u this morning because the cleaners were going to be here at noon to clean the downstairs for this dinner we had and I had to have everything ready for them. I didn't do dishes last night, but there weren't very many and I got them done quickly. Then I got the laundry room cleaned out really well and finally remembered to bring the large presser upstairs to the dressing room where it will be much more convenient. Since I'm keeping things neater (yay!) getting the downstairs ready went really fast.
I had my prayer time and read my Bible outside with myfeet on the ground. Read a little this morning about electricity and the human body. You know how sodium and potassium a re important minerals? Well, this is the most bizarre thing. The cells of a nerve have mostly sodium inside them and mostly potassium outside of them. Sodium is positively charged and potassium is negatively charged. Well, when the cell is stimulated, it opens, releasing the sodium and then the potassium flows in, and this movement of these two things, creates the electrical charge and triggers the next cell to do the same thing. Pretty wild, huh?
I exercised this morning and I am PATHETIC! I don't think I have any muscles left at all in my legs! Ten leg lifts and I start burning.
We had dinner for a large group of girls tonight who are part of a newly formed Spirit Squad dance team. I had done all of my work and was resting before I had to get ready for the event when, all of a sudden, the power went out! I looked and found every candle I own, and that's a lot, and got them set out. Then I went downstairs and found the screens that can be placed in the double doors in place of the clean plastic window panes. We oiled back the double french doors and used the double screen doors and it was quite pleasant. I had a good time with the girls. I love college girls, and I love my husband and I sitting at either end of the table across from each other, smiling and laughing with them.
Sonatas my short news for the day.
Cheers!
Lisa
This will be really short and sweet because I am exhausted! I wasn't able to go to sleep until after 4:00 am AGAIN!! I hadn't had any Klonopin for a few days, so I guess that's why the Xanax had no effect on me whatsoever. I had to get on u this morning because the cleaners were going to be here at noon to clean the downstairs for this dinner we had and I had to have everything ready for them. I didn't do dishes last night, but there weren't very many and I got them done quickly. Then I got the laundry room cleaned out really well and finally remembered to bring the large presser upstairs to the dressing room where it will be much more convenient. Since I'm keeping things neater (yay!) getting the downstairs ready went really fast.
I had my prayer time and read my Bible outside with myfeet on the ground. Read a little this morning about electricity and the human body. You know how sodium and potassium a re important minerals? Well, this is the most bizarre thing. The cells of a nerve have mostly sodium inside them and mostly potassium outside of them. Sodium is positively charged and potassium is negatively charged. Well, when the cell is stimulated, it opens, releasing the sodium and then the potassium flows in, and this movement of these two things, creates the electrical charge and triggers the next cell to do the same thing. Pretty wild, huh?
I exercised this morning and I am PATHETIC! I don't think I have any muscles left at all in my legs! Ten leg lifts and I start burning.
We had dinner for a large group of girls tonight who are part of a newly formed Spirit Squad dance team. I had done all of my work and was resting before I had to get ready for the event when, all of a sudden, the power went out! I looked and found every candle I own, and that's a lot, and got them set out. Then I went downstairs and found the screens that can be placed in the double doors in place of the clean plastic window panes. We oiled back the double french doors and used the double screen doors and it was quite pleasant. I had a good time with the girls. I love college girls, and I love my husband and I sitting at either end of the table across from each other, smiling and laughing with them.
Sonatas my short news for the day.
Cheers!
Lisa
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Day 55 - Did Some "Grounding" Today
Dear Friend,
Owwwww! Hot burning pain in my right foot. No reason, just there. Welcome to my world.
So, last night I couldn't go to sleep. I was so exhausted, but I could not fall asleep until after 4:00. I had not gotten my Xanax or Klonopin refilled, so I was too tense to get across that sleep threshold. So, today was not a great day because I was pretty zonked, but it was okay.
I didn't try to go to church and had stayed in bed to read my Bible and stuff, when my daughter came in and MADE me get up and go outside! She knows I'm having problems with that, so I guess she took it upon herself to scoot me outside. Of course, before I can go outside I had to clean up four piles of dog poopee and sterilize the floor, which is just so. much. fun.
I just got word from my former housekeeper that her husband was offered a job today. So very, very , VERY thankful for that! He was in the army and the army has been downsizing, and he got turned out, which was a huge disappointment to him. So, this is very, good news. It's so strange that I can sit here in bed in New York and chat with her in Kentucky, where she lives. Texting is the best thing!
But, back to my day. I did go outside and sit at the small wicker dining table under the pergola. This dead wisteria is driving me crazy! They haven't cut it down yet. I don't have very good clippers or I'd be doing it myself. Anyway, I just read my current zombie novel for a while to get used to being there, and then I MADE myself make a decision and order umbrellas for beside the pool and two for the flagstone patio that gets broiling hot during the day. I have been searching for probably a month now! It came down to just making a decision. I was going a little nuts because Amazon has more than a thousand patio umbrellas and I couldn't find one that got all good reviews and I didn't want to lay $200+ for an 11 foot umbrella if it wasn't going to hold up well. I finally started going through just looking for the number of reviews and I found one that had almost 200 reviews with almost a five star rating. And ... the price was UNBELIEVABLE!! I got a ten foot umbrella for by the pool for (wait for it) $55!!!
And I got two nine foot umbrellas for the flagstone patio for $33 each!! Super happy about that! I got all three for less than I thought a single one was going to cost me. I had to order another umbrella base, but I got a very good deal on one of those, too. Better than I was able to find three years ago when I first looked for one.
Have you heard about "earthing" or "grounding"? It's this idea that you need to be in direct don't act with the ground for at least fifteen minutes a day to absorb electrons from the earth's surface. I know it sounds completely crazy. But I downloaded a free book from amazon by the guy who came up with this. He's just a cable tv guy! I can't remember how he got to thinking about this, but he tells about every idea he had and everyone he tried it out on and his efforts, that were finally successful, to get real doctors to do real tests on this theory. The tests came back saying that it was definitely helping in all sorts of diseases, though they aren't sure why. Which has led me to realize that I really do not understand electricity at all! But I know everything in our body is actually powered by electricity and that every neurological message is electrical. You can measure your body's electrical charge. Isn't that strange? I'd never thought about it. I've been doing a tiny bit of research into it. I may have told you a out one experiment I saw where they had flowers in two vases of water and they grounded one vase but not the other. The difference between how the two vases of flowers fared was dramatic! So, I spent a fair amount of time barefoot on the ground today. I figured, what the heck. Can't hurt.
I ate some cheese late last night because I was hungry and there wasn't anything else! No reaction at all. And I ate some this afternoon ... same reason ... and no reaction at all! This is so fabulous. My doctor said she thinks my gut has healed so food particles aren't escaping through the intestines into the blood stream, so no allergic reaction is being triggered, yay! Now I have to remember what it is you're supposed to do to protect your gut. It's taken years to get mine healthy again.
Can you believe it's only 11:39? I may actually be asleep before midnight tonight!
Have a great new week!
Lisa
Owwwww! Hot burning pain in my right foot. No reason, just there. Welcome to my world.
So, last night I couldn't go to sleep. I was so exhausted, but I could not fall asleep until after 4:00. I had not gotten my Xanax or Klonopin refilled, so I was too tense to get across that sleep threshold. So, today was not a great day because I was pretty zonked, but it was okay.
I didn't try to go to church and had stayed in bed to read my Bible and stuff, when my daughter came in and MADE me get up and go outside! She knows I'm having problems with that, so I guess she took it upon herself to scoot me outside. Of course, before I can go outside I had to clean up four piles of dog poopee and sterilize the floor, which is just so. much. fun.
I just got word from my former housekeeper that her husband was offered a job today. So very, very , VERY thankful for that! He was in the army and the army has been downsizing, and he got turned out, which was a huge disappointment to him. So, this is very, good news. It's so strange that I can sit here in bed in New York and chat with her in Kentucky, where she lives. Texting is the best thing!
But, back to my day. I did go outside and sit at the small wicker dining table under the pergola. This dead wisteria is driving me crazy! They haven't cut it down yet. I don't have very good clippers or I'd be doing it myself. Anyway, I just read my current zombie novel for a while to get used to being there, and then I MADE myself make a decision and order umbrellas for beside the pool and two for the flagstone patio that gets broiling hot during the day. I have been searching for probably a month now! It came down to just making a decision. I was going a little nuts because Amazon has more than a thousand patio umbrellas and I couldn't find one that got all good reviews and I didn't want to lay $200+ for an 11 foot umbrella if it wasn't going to hold up well. I finally started going through just looking for the number of reviews and I found one that had almost 200 reviews with almost a five star rating. And ... the price was UNBELIEVABLE!! I got a ten foot umbrella for by the pool for (wait for it) $55!!!
And I got two nine foot umbrellas for the flagstone patio for $33 each!! Super happy about that! I got all three for less than I thought a single one was going to cost me. I had to order another umbrella base, but I got a very good deal on one of those, too. Better than I was able to find three years ago when I first looked for one.
Have you heard about "earthing" or "grounding"? It's this idea that you need to be in direct don't act with the ground for at least fifteen minutes a day to absorb electrons from the earth's surface. I know it sounds completely crazy. But I downloaded a free book from amazon by the guy who came up with this. He's just a cable tv guy! I can't remember how he got to thinking about this, but he tells about every idea he had and everyone he tried it out on and his efforts, that were finally successful, to get real doctors to do real tests on this theory. The tests came back saying that it was definitely helping in all sorts of diseases, though they aren't sure why. Which has led me to realize that I really do not understand electricity at all! But I know everything in our body is actually powered by electricity and that every neurological message is electrical. You can measure your body's electrical charge. Isn't that strange? I'd never thought about it. I've been doing a tiny bit of research into it. I may have told you a out one experiment I saw where they had flowers in two vases of water and they grounded one vase but not the other. The difference between how the two vases of flowers fared was dramatic! So, I spent a fair amount of time barefoot on the ground today. I figured, what the heck. Can't hurt.
I ate some cheese late last night because I was hungry and there wasn't anything else! No reaction at all. And I ate some this afternoon ... same reason ... and no reaction at all! This is so fabulous. My doctor said she thinks my gut has healed so food particles aren't escaping through the intestines into the blood stream, so no allergic reaction is being triggered, yay! Now I have to remember what it is you're supposed to do to protect your gut. It's taken years to get mine healthy again.
Can you believe it's only 11:39? I may actually be asleep before midnight tonight!
Have a great new week!
Lisa
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Day 56 - Girl's Night Out with My Daughter!
Dear Friend, there are lots of ways to keep a heart ache at bay, but surely one of the best is to go with your mom into the city, eat dinner, and then go to a fun off-Broadway play! Today would have been my daughter's fifth anniversary with her boyfriend if she hadn't moved here and broken up, finally, with him. She was dreading the day because she still gets very upset about it. So, we turned it into sun night instead. We went to see That Bachelorette Show and had a really good time. You are on the dance floor most of the time dancing and talking with the characters. It was fun.
This morning I sat outside again. I sat under the pergola which I realized is the top of a hill that slopes down to the campus, so you're very exposed there. I was uncomfortable , but did it. I did not go to the plant sale at the train depot that I had planned on. It was just more than I could do today on my own. I'm sure I'll get over this before long.
I must start strengthening my stupid hip muscles! I had a really hard time with them today. It's beyond optional at this point!
I'm not going to church tomorrow. We got in to late and I'm dead tired. My husband can't go because of something he has to attend.
Oh! I keep forgetting to mention that one thing I'm doing much better at is keeping things neat on a daily basis. I don't have it down great yet, but I'm doing much better than I was.
Cheers.,
Lisa
This morning I sat outside again. I sat under the pergola which I realized is the top of a hill that slopes down to the campus, so you're very exposed there. I was uncomfortable , but did it. I did not go to the plant sale at the train depot that I had planned on. It was just more than I could do today on my own. I'm sure I'll get over this before long.
I must start strengthening my stupid hip muscles! I had a really hard time with them today. It's beyond optional at this point!
I'm not going to church tomorrow. We got in to late and I'm dead tired. My husband can't go because of something he has to attend.
Oh! I keep forgetting to mention that one thing I'm doing much better at is keeping things neat on a daily basis. I don't have it down great yet, but I'm doing much better than I was.
Cheers.,
Lisa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)